Would you go on holiday the week your child gets their A level results?

[NoNameisGoodEnough]

I'm curious what people's opinions are about this.

DD gets her A level results this week. I have had the date in the calendar for months and ensured that the day was clear. I know DD might disappear off to the pub or whatever and probably won't need us but I wanted to ensure I'd be around to celebrate / support / whatever is necessary.

Someone I know is going on holiday this week, without their 18 year old, leaving them to get their results by themselves.

To me, this seems really awful. However, DD is our only. We both work in education so can be around. It might well be that I am the weird one for being so involved! When I got mine, my mum was at work, fair enough, so I called her to tell her my results and then we went out for a meal that evening.

I just wondered if anyone else would book a holiday for the week their child gets results.

No definitely not. I was that child whose parents did not get involved and it was lonely and sad.
I went to boarding school from the age of 15 (not rich had a scholarship and bursary) and after a-levels me and a friend spent the summer living and working in a hotel in Torquay. I didn't have a plan about collecting results but my friends parents involved me in theirs - picked us up, drove us the hour or so to the school, drove us back and took us out for food.
I don't really remember how we confirmed places with the uni way back then but I did not get any of the post etc until I went home for a few days before uni and had to wade through it all myself.

My eldest is hopefully going to uni in september so I am making sure I am supporting him with everything regards to this next step.

My Mum went to work the day I got my results, we celebrated with supper out, all good.

I would never plan to be away for results day, aside from maybe needing to be there to sort next steps, a bit of worry or tricky results might mar the holiday.

Depends if that is the only time the parents could get the time off. Not ideal but if it was a choice between a holiday or not, I would go!

We didn't plan to. But we were away with friends who were away over their child getting A level results. Phones and emails work from other countries/locations.

My mum did. I didn’t actually tell her my results until she got home a week later (no mobiles in those days!) and she didn’t phone the landline. When she got back, she didn’t speak to me for a further week because I didn’t get the results she wanted me to, to go to the university she wanted me to. Ah well, I turned out fine, but no, I absolutely wouldn’t do that to my own DC.

No - I was advised by a friend who had older DC to make sure we were home in case of having to navigate the clearing system.

I'm so glad I took her advice.

A level result day last year was horrific for us and there is no way I'd have wanted DS to cope with that without our support.

All turned out ok in the end ( he actually decided against taking up his Uni offer and now works in finance in the City of London) but we absolutely needed to be there to guide him through his decisions during the first week after results day.

I find your tone quite belligerent. I don't know if that's deliberate but, if so, I don't see why.

I did say I thought things had changed. I'm not sure what difference the fees thing makes, unless you mean more parental involvement? I mean, if I'd had to pay fees, there would've been no question of me going; as it was, I worked through my A levels and, as I said, the summer before uni, plus all the way through uni including in term time.

I got an A and two Bs. I don't know what you consider average.

i always took the day off work,
for gcse's we went out for a day trip somewhere

My daughter decided to go visit her granny over the days when results were coming in. We face-timed when she got them. It’s her experience, not mine. I’d do whatever she felt she was comfortable with.

I wouldn't go away without them but we've been away for all three GCSE results and A levels. Most kids get their results emailed now no need to plan holidays around it.

My tone? 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm at the arse end of gen x ('79) and the pressure around university when I was at this point (actually, in the same financial position as you and I was given a small grant to boot) and the pressure now, as ds1 waits for his results on Thursday - is so radically different that it's irrelevant.

Friends were away ( long haul) for their child's A level results..... didn't go to plan and had a nightmare sorting clearing with time difference and patchy wifi. I wouldn't risk the stress of bad news spoiling a holiday and then spending part of the holiday sorting things out.

I would say from personal experience not to go on holiday. My parents were abroad when I collected mine. I didn’t get the grades I needed for university. Had absolutely no support from them and I was gutted. Had to navigate clearing on my own was given a few options and jumped at the chance to escape from home. My parents also moved jobs/house at important points in my education which led to me not doing as well as expected. Got a good degree and now a good job.

Forward wind to my own children. Vowed never to move house and supported both through GCSEs and Alevels. There for both of them said I would never do to them what my parents did to me.

Most kids get their results emailed now no need to plan holidays around it.

All mine have had to go into the college post GCSE results phycially and confirm places and compete forms and admin - DD2 it's same day as results other two it was next day. So good we weren't away really.

Sounds like there is a better postal service in Scotland than England then.

If my DC wanted their GCSE results posted, there is only about a 50% chance they would arrive and certainly not for at least a week. No one would wait for the post if there was another alternative (which it sounds like there also is for SQA results too, so wonder how many people do actually choose to solely have the results posted).

My son did his A levels last year. I went to no open days. I didn't even know he was applying until he got offers. Even then it was like pulling teeth to find out. Some kids these days are still as independent as we were. My parents didn't go with me either, but I do recall lots of awkward looking teens who clearly wishes their parents weren't there!

Neither approach is right or wrong. Only different.

One student turned up at our school to start year 12 having done poorly on most of his GCSEs and therefore not able to start any of the courses he had chosen. All the places had been taken on the courses that he might have swapped to. All the other parents had come into school and supported and helped their children discuss with staff and sort out alternatives, hence the courses nearly all being full and just the unpopular ones left. The Mum was pleasant enough but took great pains to explain that it hadn't been possible to a) know how badly he had done and b) sort anything out for him because they had been away, you see, on holiday. As if the holiday was some sort of misfortune that had struck them. I felt for him.

No.
Planned holidays to be at home for all results days and the weeks following A level in case things didn't go to plan.

It's fun, and rather moving to see the reactions of parents when they encounter the library - all seven floors of it, with banks of computers and more books than many of them will have been privileged enough to see in their lives
What poor people who've never seen books? I hope they doffed their cap at you. Could you be more patronising?

Yes, your tone. I'm not the only person on here to say so.

I do realise (and acknowledged) that the finances around uni are different now. I'm still not sure my parents would have been more involved though even if I were at uni in more recent years. That's the best answer I can give to the OP's question. It may be 'irrelevant' or that might be just your opinion.

Well whether you intend to be there or not for anyone on this thread receiving results on Thursday I wish your kids all the very best of luck and really hope they get what they want. So long as everyone is supportive in their own way that’s all that matters. GCSEs the week after too - don’t let these grades define you x

I would want to be there for my children but I can’t remember my parents giving a monkeys about my GCSE’s or a levels - maybe that’s why I’ll definitely be there.

I thought of this thread when I read this article in the news today. Whilst I am sure there must be more to this tragic story other than the fact that her parents weren't in the meeting it does show that some young people really are very vulnerable around results day, even if it's not obvious.
www.bbc.com/news/articles/ckgerjpvnjxo.amp

Such a sad story. Even though they are adults, they still need support to face these new and unknown experiences.

DS2 has just gone into college to collect his results - this is the earliest he's been up since he did his final exam!

I'm WFH but am on tenterhooks here! He's put in so much effort and will be so upset/cross with himself if he doesn't get the decent grades he's predicted 🤞

Ds has been emailed by his first choice to say he's in!