What age is appropriate for a child to attend a funeral?

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Grandparent, it wasn’t unexpected and they saw them a few times a year.

primary school and sensitive. Please let me know any advice on what age this is appropriate.

many thanks

Primary is a wide range OP.

FWIW we have recently had a family funeral and I didn't allow my DS1 there who is 6.
Both DS's came to the wake however (6 and 3).

Senior school age I think , my 11 year old who is sensitive was quite shaken by granddads funeral at the time - my 13 year old was fine .

Thanks for the replies. Nine. Feels like they are very aware but also very sensitive. They initially didn’t want to go, now do but a bit hesitant.

Doesn't it depend on the child? My friend's children attended their father's funeral aged 6 and 3, and the older one certainly understood what was going on. It was also an unexpected death. 20+ years later, I don't think my friend regrets her decision at all.

When we lost a grandparent, ours were 8 and 9. I asked school for advice and they said not to take them, so we didn’t.
However with hindsight I think this was wrong. I think they would have come to terms with the loss better for attending. A funeral does provide a sense of closure for want of a better word.
I think maybe give them the choice if they’re old enough, but I wouldn't take under 5’s.

There's no inappropriate age.

Any age

Any age at all
I went to a funeral for a dear family friend.
Both of her grandchildren were there, and one was only a baby.

The baby, of course, made noises all the way through the service. The priest remarked that it was so lovely to hear children at a funeral.

DS was just turned 7 when he went to my DM’s funeral. I’d always remembered she had said she wished my half-siblings had been allowed to their GDPs’ funerals at similar ages. He seemed fine.

I’m Irish so from birth,

Any age - it really depends on the child. But do remember tha lt a funeral is a really good way to say a proper goodbye, and often there are some really fond and lovely memories shared in them. It provides closure and will be remembered positively if you play it well. People do like to talk to young people about a grandparent too, so they may be welcomed.

I think it spends if they want to. I wouldn’t want my 9 year old to attend. They are very mature but they have no idea how upsetting it can be and they won’t realise how much grown up chatting is involved. As the adult child of the deceased I think there is an awful lot of socialising (probably not the best word) to be done. Thanking people for coming a long way, making an effort to talk to Auntie Hilda who is on her last legs, thanking the neighbour who was close to the deceased and popped in to keep an eye out. Funerals are very grown-up environments and for me I think the day would be easier to cope with if my children weren’t there.

Any age is appropriate, you just change how you discuss it? Funeral experience of people they’re not exceptionally close with is excellent life experience for them for when they have to go to the harder ones one day xx

My sons went to their grandfather's funeral at just 12 and nearly 9. My cousin went to my mum's funeral at nearly 10. In both cases it was a close relationship.

Mine have been to funerals since babyhood. I would definitely take a nine year old, but if she isn’t used to funerals then maybe she needs to be talked through it first, so she knows what to expect.

my 15 year old found a recent family funeral hard, but wanted to be there so came. I think it depends on the child and what they want x

From birth? I’m Irish so open caskets at the wake and lots of kids coming in and out is very normal. I took my dc to my grans funeral and she was 4. All her cousins were there.

I took my just 8 year old and 6 year old to their grandparent funeral last year. I think it was the right decision as it gave closure to the oldest and youngest started her grieving process then as she then understood that he wasn’t coming back.

big caveat is that we were fully incontrol of the funeral content and there was no he is sleeping expressions/airy fairy language that could confuse/ scare the kids.

9, in my opinion, is old enough to go if she wants to.
Mine was not long turned 10 when her grandad died. And the funeral happened. She absolutely wanted to go and I knew it was right for her to go. And it was absolutely the right decision in our case.

If you choose to take them please explain what happens and that it’s totally normal to cry be upset and the adults may also cry

I think it depends on the child- my friend’s son (I think about 8) was very traumatised by seeing his dad cry at the funeral and had nightmares for a while after and would come into their bed asking was the dad ok, did he miss his daddy etc. My friend regretted bringing him

At 9 I think if they want to get let them but explain what will happen I.e if there may be sad songs, poems etc, whether they will be cremated or buried just so they know what to expect & let them know everyone will be sad and they may see their family crying etc

Also maybe see if someone attending who isn't as closely related to the deceased (so wouldnt mind leaving the ceremony) if they mind sitting outside the venue with the child if they find it too overwhelming inside

Other option is to see if they want to skip the funeral and just attend the wake? I do think they should definitely get a choice because they may be resentful later on if they feel you stopped them saying goodbye

I didn’t go to my grandmothers funeral as I was too upset and I was 9. It was the right decision for me.
i also have never found that a funeral brings any sort of “closure” and the suggestion that is does upset me when I was grieving.

My DH passed recently & I didn't give my DC (9yo & 7yo) the option as I felt that they'd regret it once older. My 9yo nephew, however, was given the option and elected not to go (which was absolutely fine IMHO) but he had previously been to his grandparent's funeral.
I remember attending Great Gran's funeral at about 9yo & was very glad that I had. My siblings would have been 6yo & 3yo.
What I'm trying to say is there's no right or wrong, it's up to the child.

I’m Irish, kids were 3 when I took them to their grand dad’s funeral. I don’t see it as something to avoid. People feel sad and we say goodbye. But none of their English cousins attended.