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Original poster

What will I do tomorrow.

59 replies

Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 16:54

The past few months has been so stressful for me. My work needs me to become certified and they had me working on an online course.

I enjoyed the course however it was so stressful and hard din the sense that my work was hard physically with the hours and my family also didn't respect this.

I had some extremely stressful incidents and long hours within my work. Then there was family. I have family home from abroad and I love them but it was so hard because they are on holiday mode. It broke my heart too because I don't have a lot of time to go and spend time with them. I do my best but sometimes it's never enough. My nephew and niece wants to do things with me.

I am not in a holiday mode. I still have work to do and then I have study and assignments to do too.

I do aim to try and get one day in the week to spend with them if not two and I try and spend time with them.

I spent two days last week with them followed by another half day on Monday.

I am getting begged a lot not to go to work and not to study too.

I am nearing the end of my course with assignments to submit this weekend with the deadline being midnight Sunday with more the following weekend too. I think I might be on track to submit this work this weekend.

It's now Friday evening and I will have to work late tonight but I don't know what time til.

Then it's Saturday and Sunday.

The last number of weeks has been so hard for me with so little time off too. If I am not working, I am doing course work or focusing on family time and I have very little time for myself.

I have some work to do with my assignment for this weekend too. I need to clean up some paragraphs. Double check the citations and work on the referencing page.

It shouldn't take me too long.

I know my nephew/niece will want me to spend time with them this weekend too and I would love that.

However I am stressed and anxious about the deadline for my assignment.

Last weekend was a nightmare when it came to studying too. They kept coming into my room along with my mother who is likely senile.

I am thinking for tomorrow, I could try and get up early in the morning, pack a pack back of stuff and go into the library and get this stuff done. Then I could spend Sunday with my nephew/niece - playing with them and taking them out for the day.

Also tomorrow, I could go to the library for a few hours and work on what I have to do followed by maybe a meal out in a restaurant and a glass of wine and just get some down time for myself.

The other option is to spend the day with family tomorrow and go into the city on Sunday morning with my work and sit down in a hotel lobby because the library will be closed on Sunday. This option fills me with anxiety for a few reasons. Likely a day spent with family will never be enough on Saturday and they will likely still want my time on Sunday.

Life for the past number of weeks has been crazy. Rushing meals, eating standing up and just animal type of behaviour due to so much stress.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 08/08/2025 16:58

Tell them they are sabotaging your career and if they pester you any more they can pay the shortfall in your salary...

Realistically: you have to tell them, it is too important for you to take time off, you are sorry, but life is sometimes like that.

If you can go to a library, do that. Don't tell them where you are. Aim to do the work tomorrow, because what if something comes up and you can't do it on Sunday?

They have no respect for you, the visit isn't at a good time, not sure if you could have avoided that. Next year you will be more available. Set and enforce boundaries.

Original poster
Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 16:58

Another option maybe is to maybe have a family day tomorrow and finishes up what I have to do with my assignment tomorrow night and do anything else extra on Sunday.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 08/08/2025 16:58

are you the sole host? I did OU and i made it clear to my family that at certain times (assignments etc) they would have to do without me. And i stuck to it.

slightlydistrac · 08/08/2025 17:00

Did you invite them over, or did they announce when they were coming without checking with you whether you were available first?

Original poster
Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:09

slightlydistrac · 08/08/2025 17:00

Did you invite them over, or did they announce when they were coming without checking with you whether you were available first?

They are family and they are always welcome. They don't expect me to mind them and care for them and fully host them. They are fully independent for alot of what they are doing. However they do like family days.

I never wanted it to be like this but it just happened. Their tickets were booked last minute. If they booked their holidays home months in advance I would have been better able to organise time off.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:10

Brefugee · 08/08/2025 16:58

are you the sole host? I did OU and i made it clear to my family that at certain times (assignments etc) they would have to do without me. And i stuck to it.

I am not the sole host. There's my mother who is not behaving very well. She's a grandmother to these kids but she won't do activities with them and especially without me.

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 08/08/2025 17:21

Is your family financially supporting you?

Is your work paying you?

It sounds like you've been fucking up at work and blaming your family because you won't put a stop to their unreasonable demands. They want you to call in, not do the work for your certification. Will they pay your wage when you lose your job because you won't tell them no?

You're going to lose your job if you don't stop having "incidents" and call in a bunch and don't pass your certification. That's what it boils down to.

tinyspiny · 08/08/2025 17:27

Just tell them that you have work to submit and they will have to get on without you , it’s really not that hard you just need to be a bit assertive .

Original poster
Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:31

outerspacepotato · 08/08/2025 17:21

Is your family financially supporting you?

Is your work paying you?

It sounds like you've been fucking up at work and blaming your family because you won't put a stop to their unreasonable demands. They want you to call in, not do the work for your certification. Will they pay your wage when you lose your job because you won't tell them no?

You're going to lose your job if you don't stop having "incidents" and call in a bunch and don't pass your certification. That's what it boils down to.

I have no idea what this means?

No family is not supporting me. Work is paying me.

OP posts:
Anotherdayanotherdollar · 08/08/2025 17:35

Free/family time once the work is done. Why are your niece and nephew calling the shots?

Original poster
Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:35

I am am tempted to go to the library tomorrow but to really pull this off and to get away from my family for the day I would have to raise early like by 6am. To get the early morning bus into the city before I get pulled in to provide childcare to my nephew/niece for the day.

But then I am due to work late tonight.

One of the hardest things about the past few months is the exhaustion and the tiredness and it's so hard to have headspace to study and work on assignments when I am tired.

I was thinking if I go to the library and work on my assignments, I was thinking if I was to really apply myself to what I have I front of me, I could probably get it all done and finished tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:36

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 08/08/2025 17:35

Free/family time once the work is done. Why are your niece and nephew calling the shots?

The parents are on a working holiday to be honest and my nephew and niece are likely getting bored easily.

OP posts:
Anotherdayanotherdollar · 08/08/2025 17:39

Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:36

The parents are on a working holiday to be honest and my nephew and niece are likely getting bored easily.

Show quote history

Well then why is their parents work more important than yours??

tinyspiny · 08/08/2025 17:41

Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:36

The parents are on a working holiday to be honest and my nephew and niece are likely getting bored easily.

Show quote history

That is not your problem it is their parents problem

Original poster
Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:45

Also there is some drinking going on from my sibling mainly resulting in some hangovers and less family time when that happens.

They are fantastic but there is some issues too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:46

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 08/08/2025 17:39

Well then why is their parents work more important than yours??

Show quote history

That is what I was thinking. There is a tone or attitude from them all that their work is the only work that matters and nothing else will compare.

OP posts:
AllrightNowBaby · 08/08/2025 17:46

Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:35

I am am tempted to go to the library tomorrow but to really pull this off and to get away from my family for the day I would have to raise early like by 6am. To get the early morning bus into the city before I get pulled in to provide childcare to my nephew/niece for the day.

But then I am due to work late tonight.

One of the hardest things about the past few months is the exhaustion and the tiredness and it's so hard to have headspace to study and work on assignments when I am tired.

I was thinking if I go to the library and work on my assignments, I was thinking if I was to really apply myself to what I have I front of me, I could probably get it all done and finished tomorrow.

Definitely go to the library for the day, your studying and job come before any of this…
Its a shame….but there will be other years when you will have more time for them.
Do not let this stress you…

mondaytosunday · 08/08/2025 17:49

You finish your work in the library first. Otherwise it will be hanging over you. Audi have a firm word with your family. Stop trying to please everyone - do what YOU need to do first.

Theyreeatingthedogs · 08/08/2025 17:51

It's not your job to look after their kids. You need to have a serious chat with your siblings.

GreenZebraStripes · 08/08/2025 17:55

Did you get the missing assignment in last week?

Please for the love of god pack a bag and go somewhere else to work . You kept getting interrupted last weekend so there is the evidence that it wasn't the best option.

I've since pulled two all nighters to do a piece of work this week so you can do this OP 💪

GreenZebraStripes · 08/08/2025 17:56

Get a good night sleep, load up in carbohydrates and go to the library.

outerspacepotato · 08/08/2025 17:58

Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:31

I have no idea what this means?

No family is not supporting me. Work is paying me.

Show quote history

What it means is unless your family is supporting you, you're going to be looking for another job because you are afraid to say no to your family. Your family is using you for childcare so they don't have to take care of their own kids. They don't care that you're likely to lose your job if you call in a bunch and or don't pass your certification course.

They're interfering with your livelihood. They want you to do childcare and stuff but are they paying you for that? If not, your priority is to do what you need to for your job. You know, that things that pays you money.

No is a complete sentence.

Flowercakes · 08/08/2025 18:01

outerspacepotato · 08/08/2025 17:21

Is your family financially supporting you?

Is your work paying you?

It sounds like you've been fucking up at work and blaming your family because you won't put a stop to their unreasonable demands. They want you to call in, not do the work for your certification. Will they pay your wage when you lose your job because you won't tell them no?

You're going to lose your job if you don't stop having "incidents" and call in a bunch and don't pass your certification. That's what it boils down to.

Are you ok?

slightlydistrac · 08/08/2025 18:19

Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:09

They are family and they are always welcome. They don't expect me to mind them and care for them and fully host them. They are fully independent for alot of what they are doing. However they do like family days.

I never wanted it to be like this but it just happened. Their tickets were booked last minute. If they booked their holidays home months in advance I would have been better able to organise time off.

Show quote history

We have family overseas who often just present us with a fait accompli and expect us to drop everything and be available for them! They forget that we are not also on holiday - we have jobs and commitments. They get the hump sometimes, but tough.

You need to stick to your guns this time, and spend as much time in the library tomorrow as you can. If it closes, move to an internet cafe. Hopefully you will be able to break the back of it and then have some spare time for them on Sunday.

Just tell them in no uncertain terms that this is crucially important, and you have no choice but to leave them to it for a few hours.

Brefugee · 08/08/2025 18:22

Pinklittlebaby · 08/08/2025 17:10

I am not the sole host. There's my mother who is not behaving very well. She's a grandmother to these kids but she won't do activities with them and especially without me.

Show quote history

you need to be clear with your mother that you cannot spare as much time as you would like, and anyone who is trying to get in the way of you furthering your career is being a twat (you might want to rephrase that)