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Original poster

Tell me about the mum's you have to put up with in your child's year

88 replies

LegalllyBrunette · 03/08/2025 20:45

I was watching Motherland today and couldn't help but think about the mums and dads I encounter on the school run and their idiosyncrasies. I wouldn't say there are any clear Julias or Amandas but there are definitely characters, some I try to avoid, and I'm just wondering what the dynamics are near you

I'll have to find a colourful way the ones I know

OP posts:
skippy67 · 05/08/2025 08:32

Cliffedge25 · 03/08/2025 20:47

I didn’t.
Drop off then piss off. No time nor energy to speak to any of them. No idea who’s mother or father is who’s.

Zero interest, zero time, zero energy.

Same.

Dolphinnoises · 05/08/2025 08:33

I had some utterly lovely people who I was glad to have met. Just for balance.

skippy67 · 05/08/2025 08:35

luckylavender · 05/08/2025 08:31

Oh great, another mum / woman bashing thread

Interesting take.

ItsBouqeeeet · 05/08/2025 08:42

Starting school in September so only encountered the parents twice on transition days.

Most seem lovely. However, one couple, not so much...

Said 'Hi' to them both. She looked me up and down and said 'eurgh'. He looked me up and down and laughed. They did this with other parents too.

No time for people like that.

fizzynotflat · 05/08/2025 08:44

Funny, the different dynamics of the playground. Long time ago now but there were definitely some motherland characters, a Kevin and an Amanda. Actually a Julia too.

Mydogisatool · 05/08/2025 08:44

I wish my kids school was like motherland.

Parents smoke weed outside the school gate and have fights in the playground at pick up . I’ll swap in a heartbeat.

AhBiscuits · 05/08/2025 08:53

It's weird how I like pretty much all of the mums in my daughter's class but just don't click with any of them in my son's. There are several of them where I feel like being a school mum is their whole personality. If the school needs a volunteer they almost give themselves whiplash with the speed of their response.

IleftmybaginNewportPagnell · 05/08/2025 08:55

BunnyVV · 04/08/2025 22:02

Tidying up after a Christmas fair craft stall I got a broom from the cleaning cupboard.
the class rep screamed at me demanding to know why I was sweeping up so early (tables wiped down, craft stuff in boxes, seemed the right time to me). I explained.
Class rep: ”how do YOU know where the cleaning cupboard is?”
me: “it’s been there since 1983 when I was at this school. Lucky guess”
Class rep: ”nobody sweeps up until I say so…”
what I wanted to say “shove the broom up your arse then.”
what I actually said: “oh I’m sorry. What shall I do instead.”

Oh that reminds me of when I was on the PTA (big mistake) and we’d been setting up the Christmas fair from early morning. The doors open and instead of greeting the “punters”, chair of PTA stood watching saying “look at her dressed up to the nines - doesn’t bother helping”. No but if everyone helped nobody would be there to spend the money to raise funds!

Booookkk · 05/08/2025 08:59

Honestly… this thread feels mean.

babylone · 05/08/2025 09:02

Perhaps i have been too involved….and annoying!
. As a class rep i had to give a message to the class whatsapp and one dad replied with a pornographic image. 😳 the whatsapp was then divided by tbose who found it hilarious and others who found it shocking.
. one of the mum was a bit bonkers on the whatsapp and it is true that i said something along the line of “maybe not everybody think that” she wrote a report (4 pages) about me and circulated it on the school whatsapp. The class rep s had already reported her to school for what she was posting on whatsapp, but after that report, i made a complaint. Turned out she was having a psychotic episode, the school managed it
. The day after brexit, two mums shouted at me to go and pack my bags 😳😳
. once a mum slapped me. Her kid was new and she was complaining to the teacher at pick up that my DC had put bird poo on her DC’s tshirt while they were both playing in the mud.she was shouting and at the end of her rant, she slapped me. I am very calm and i was only listening to her rant, not even engaging with what she was saying because frankly who cares about a bit of bird poo on a 6yo tshirt who has played in the mud…. The teacher took my defence. In the following two weeks she and her kid disappeared. Again i would suspect a mental health issue but i dont know amd i didnt ask either what happened.
. two mums giggling when i walked past them and one if them saying “we dress better than you” (WTF??)
. One of my DC has adhd, and yes they were a handful but a good child. There was a DT day where parents were invited. The anxiety in the class was palpable and my child was just themselves, being creative (which is great for DT), determined and very busy. Some girl wanted to work with him and made a real mess and he helped… at the end of the session, a dad came and said my DC was really nice and he doesnt understand why so much hatred. Then i went home and the mum of the girtl who did a mess apologised for having been rude to me (and by this she meant spreading dirt on my kid)

Honestly i did help as a class rep or on school trips because when the DCs were young i wasnt working. But i am not one for gossip and drama so never engaged in that. Things were bard with DC1 because we did not know what adhd was and school wasnt very good either but it all worked out in the end and DC1 is thriving in college now.
school wasnt not diverse at all, almost entirely affluent white british, so maybe it was easy to pick on the EU mum with a naughty ADHD child.
I will only say that i have allowed myself some pleasure in observing what the teenage years brought to some of these judgy mums…
If you are a new mum, here is a tip: dont judge too quickly other mums, you dont know how your DC will turn out. Also look at yourself before judging others
ps: i love motherland - definitely lots of amandas in my neck of the woods

Ilovelurchers · 05/08/2025 09:10

My husband had an affair with one of the school moms! (At least one - there may have been more). He is still with her now. Cheating on her left, right and centre of course. (He is a great dad but a terrible partner).

This has kind of coloured my experience of them.

IleftmybaginNewportPagnell · 05/08/2025 09:16

@babylone I was class rep and the head was worried about the dads in the playground feeling left out. So she had this amazing idea - a bench where I or another class rep would sit and welcome dads! Great, no easier way of starting rumours 😂 She was a really lovely woman and amazing headteacher, I didn’t have the heart to burst her bubble but I think the penny dropped when she saw the look on my face…
For balance on this thread - my three best friends of over 20 years I met at my children’s primaries.

babylone · 05/08/2025 09:24

@Ilovelurchersi am sorry to hear, this is really shitty. I cannot even beginnto imagine how damaging this may have been to you and your DCs

honeylulu · 05/08/2025 09:27

My daughter has just left primary and the parents in her year were a pretty pleasant bunch. One couple are now good friends of ours.

It was a nice surprise as my son went to the same school and in his year the parents were very cliquey and some downright unpleasant. The clique was super friendly initially while they worked out who was "worth knowing". If they decided you didn't make the grade you were cut dead. I was bewildered at first, not sure what I had done wrong but I saw them doing it with other newcomers and realised what was going on.

In daughter's year I can't think of a single horrible parent. There are a few who are mildly annoying. One couple insist their family goes everywhere together so if one of their girls is invited to a party they bring the other one too. Plus both parents! Some of us got firmer about "no siblings" and there was some pouting and stropping about "disappointment".

Another woman is ok but suffers from delusions of grandeur and seems to think everyone else is her staff. Doesn't drive and when her daughter needs a lift she posts on the class WhatsApp saying "someone will have to take x" (no please or thank you) and is always moaning about the school not telling her things and when it's pointed out that we had an email on x date she asks for it to be posted in the group because she's obviously far too important to search her own email inbox. She also once told me she felt sorry for me having to work full time. Wtf? I like my job! Our sons were in the same year and then our daughters so I've spent years rolling my eyes. They are going to different secondaries so I'll finally escape her!

DappledThings · 05/08/2025 09:28

None. They are all perfectly nice people. There's no "playground politics". People chat,we arrange playdates and parties and sometimes even go out as adults like normal people without there being any drama.

Which I suspect is actually the norm outside of people wanting to think their life is like a sitcom

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 05/08/2025 13:46

I'm usually friendly and polite to people and get the same in return. Most of my local friends are people I have met through being a mum. I can totally accept that different areas and schools have different dynamics, though.

CurlewKate · 05/08/2025 13:50

I don’t have to “put up” with any of them. They are all just women like me-I like some, don’t like others, and am indifferent to some more. Just like women at work, at an evening class or at the gym. Can’t bear this strange “school mums are a different species” thing.

theprincessthepea · 05/08/2025 21:43

I joined the PTA. I really didn’t care about the mums but cared about what was happening in the school, and through being a member of the PTA I got to know some mums. I was a working mum so I didn’t have time to stand around the school gates - but there was one mum that decided that she didn’t like me for whatever reason.

We knew eachother through PTA meetings. The other mums in her friendship circle would say hi (they tended to hang around the school gates after drop off). She wouldn’t even acknowledge me when I smiled at her and always gave me dirty looks.

I ended up just ignoring her. Felt sorry for her eventually as it must take a bitter person to hate someone for no reason.

My child never mentioned her child ever, so I don’t think it was related to that.

It took me a while to make “school mum” friends as I was very young and most parents were in their 30s/40s - so I was used to being ignored - but I couldn’t understand this one.

SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter · 06/08/2025 00:12

20 years on, the child (now adult) is in prison for manslaughter, her brother is in other prison for murder and another brother is in the same prison for attacking an old man so badly he almost died

Fucking hell!

Original poster
LegalllyBrunette · 23/08/2025 16:44

itsmeafterall · 04/08/2025 21:13

A long time ago since mine were at school. There was one mum who decided to challenge me to a fight in the playground. I had complained to the school after her DD had punched mine. A delightful specimen and I have no Des why her child was so violent 😂

20 years on and she still scowls at me anytime I see her on the street.

I'm missing the laughing emoji for this!

OP posts:
Original poster
LegalllyBrunette · 23/08/2025 16:48

CaptainFuture · 04/08/2025 22:14

This, don't get the obsession with building your life around the school gates!

Show quote history

What obsession? My children are under 5 so there's no real avoiding other people. Unless I don't let them go to any class parties (where parents need to stay with them) or turn the other way when we go to the park, I'm going to come into contact with these people.

OP posts:
Original poster
LegalllyBrunette · 23/08/2025 16:53

Thanks for sharing! Some funny and interesting stories.

To be clear the thread was not meant to be mean in any way. I think it's healthy to let off steam about minor annoyances. We live somewhere that people do all know each other, we all go to the same local events, we go to the kids parties, plus then see each other at school pick up and school things, and you naturally gravitate to towards some people more and find others a bit more difficult company!

OP posts:
ImGoingUpstairsToTakeOffMyHat · 23/08/2025 17:52

I honestly don’t know what some people’s problem is with making friends or talking to other mums. They aren’t the enemy - you’ll find they’re just like you. The competitive “I hate school mums the most” is just as tiresome, if not more tiresome than the so-called “queen bees” (who I’m not actually sure exist they’re just women who have chats and make the effort). Some of the best friendships I have were created at the school gates. And if nothing else, it means play dates are more bearable if you’re with someone who you like as well.

But to answer the OP, my DS’s current school has good mums - just one who keeps telling everyone she’s vegan is a bit annoying. But in his old school there was a mum whose whole personality seemed to be “My kids don’t like sugary things”. She was very smug proud that they didn’t like anything with sugar and mentioned it constantly. Until when it was my DD’s birthday, we had it at a trampoline place and as birthday girl she got a free giant slushier. She doesn’t actually like them so offered it to her friends. The boy who apparently didn’t like sugar grabbed it, practically inhaled it and you could almost see swirls in his eyes. Watching his mum vault across a trampoline park cafe shouting “No Nicholas! No! You don’t even LIKE sugary things!” As she tried (and largely failed) to grab the slushie off him, was very amusing. Especially when he spent the rest of the party begging her for another one

mrssunshinexxx · 23/08/2025 17:53

Mine are at private school so mostly Amanda’s but I’m definitely Liz 😂

ImGoingUpstairsToTakeOffMyHat · 23/08/2025 17:56

Oh actually I do have one story about my DS’s current school - one of the mums thinks I fancy her husband 🤣🤣 I think because he does nearly all of the drop off and pick ups and I’m quite chatty so when we started at the school we would talk while standing around for the kids (as I would to others). I then stopped to chat to him at a PTA event, where I saw her for the first time, and she had a face like a slapped arse and barely spoke to me. Now every time I see them together she drapes herself over him as she glares at me. It’s only when someone told me “Oh yeah Kathy think you fancy John” did I understand why!

The funniest thing is her husband is quite unattractive and mine is absolutely gorgeous so I’ve no idea what goes on in her deluded head.