Tell me about the mum's you have to put up with in your child's year

[LegalllyBrunette]

I was watching Motherland today and couldn't help but think about the mums and dads I encounter on the school run and their idiosyncrasies. I wouldn't say there are any clear Julias or Amandas but there are definitely characters, some I try to avoid, and I'm just wondering what the dynamics are near you

I'll have to find a colourful way the ones I know

A perfectly nice, very diverse range of women at both primaries DS was at. Apart from one at his last school who was a complete loon who ended up being banned from school premises and all school events after she threatened a teacher, but you’ll get one of those everywhere.

Kids are older now. There was a rather superior mother at school, never smiled at me, clearly looked down on me, never invited my DS to her DS’ parties, blah, blah, blah. It been a decade since primary school. I bumped into her the other day. It was a beautiful day I was so happy (and I have had an awful year so far!) Honestly, I swear she just sucked the joy out of the day. Like a cold wind of doom blew the good vibes away. Life is too short. Miserable cow bag.

We had one that had 3 children, this obviously made her an expert on being parent. Every time something came up, activity, after school, trip..she would be like oh don’t you know about that, how funny. Don’t you know what time the school show finishes, hilarious.

She also decided her last child was a
genius so lied constantly about how well she was doing. Would say on FB that at parents evening she had been told her was ‘top of the class’ which wasn’t true. She was perfectly normal average and in fact everyone knew who the kid was who was top in everything by a long long way.

she also tried to manage her DDs friendships to make her the most popular, inviting some kids to things, not others. Tried to get her to push other kids out. Horrible stuff. Apparently secondary was a real shock to her when mum isn’t managing everything for you and everyone from primary dumped her.

Oh see I like the Dads much more, they are so nice and friendly. I find the mums not so friendly, although I wonder if it's shy or just busy/distracted as they are usually lovely when you get to know them.

There is a woman who called me a chav to her DD and this was obviously repeated to my DD. We got in the car and DD said “mummy why are you a chav?” and I almost spat out my drink. She is very very nice to my DH and always talks to him at pick up, but she just glairs at me. Every time she talks to him he always talks about me and makes a point to say “my wife” every time, which brings me joy. I know I shouldn’t let it wind me up but she really gets my goat. I’m not even a chav anymore, I retired from that when I went to uni! You have to hand in your chav license and big hoop earrings when you pursue higher education. :(

By my 3rd dc, I just paid £12 a day for breakfast and afterschool club. Perfect.

I didn’t have much to do with them tbh, beyond pleasantries with parents of dcs friends when they came for play and a dinner after school or for those first parties when they were in reception - no standout characters, just other parents/grandparents/carers who were stood in the playground waiting to collect. I used to leave it until the last minute to get there so I could just pick them up and go.

vile gossipers , whose gossiping caused a fight between two mums and the head teacher and caretaker had to split up . Kids crying and the police rocked up . I kept myself to myself .

Birth stories. The one I lived in fear of, only seemed to exist in relation to her birth stories.
Lost yada many pints - oh gosh!
Thus many stitches - goodness me!
So many hours - wow!
This much leakage - you don't say?!
Circumference of babys head.....yada...yada....

Mostly a good bunch at the primary; it was a small school with a reputation for being a close-knit community with a highly
motivated PTA that raised a lot of money. I had no problem with parents who didn’t want to get involved with organising stuff - not everyone has the time and inclination - but the ones who pissed me off were the ones who had all the time in the world to moan on the class WhatsApp about the things they didn’t get involved in. You thought the lucky dip gifts at the summer social were rubbish? The food at the Christmas fair was shit? The font on the leavers hoodies looked wrong? Well do it yourself then!

The mums in ds year at primary school were awful, there were the alpha mum's who stalked the playground in a pack bitching about the other mums, then the beta mums who wanted to be alpha mum's who spent their time brown nosing the alpha mum's & feeding them gossip & scandal in the hope of being admitted to the inner circle. Then there were the rest of the mums who avoided the playground like the plague, kicked their kids out of the car at the gate & legged it & who stood outside until the last minute at pick up time. I was one of the last group, my marriage ended when ds was in Y1 & the scandal of the fact I was now a single parent went round the playground like wildfire (it was a Catholic school) The first day my new partner came with me to school, the whole playground went silent as we walked in, it was like one of those wild west bars when the baddy walked in before a gunfight.

@AlltheyellowbirdsBristol! No clues needed lol, it’s a big place so I doubt this is very outing.

I honestly haven’t run into any horrors (yet!)

Most people seem ok.

When my daughter was born I encountered another mum at the weighing clinic. Babies were the same age. We walked home together and she invited me in for coffee, which I accepted.

She actually wasn’t easy company, I found her overbearing and really negative. I had a bit of PND and I didn’t think it was wise to spend time with her, she made me feel a lot worse.

However, she worked out where I lived and kept posting notes through the door saying we ought to get together. Gave me her phone number. I chose not to contact her. This went on for some time, probably 8-12 months.

Fast forward a few years and our children were at school together. I wasn’t sure if she remembered me but suspected she did because she used to scowl at me (but then I think she did that to everyone).

Anyway, I eventually made friends with another mum who told me she’d always been wary of me because scowling mum told her a story that we’d met at baby clinic and I wouldn’t leave her alone afterwards - kept posting notes through her door. I have no idea what other lies she told about me (or why). But how fucking weird!

people are so, so weird.

They're all fine at my kid's school. I can't think of any I actively dislike and I quite enjoy getting a chance to chat to other parents before I go off to start work. But it's a smallish primary on a fairly close-knit new build estate with a fairly diverse population in terms of class, finances etc, so we're all also neighbours and everyone's very invested in getting on well. We have a year group WhatsApp that's a very helpful source of info and help when needed and isn't used for showboating or bullying.

DH would attend parties and school stuff.

I wouldn’t know a single parent at any of my youngest school gates.
I quickly learned at the older child’s school gates to avoid at all costs if I ever had another child.
I thought it was what was expected as I knew no better with my first.

Nope.

Also, I needed to get to work or somewhere so had no time for any of it.

Same - we used breakfast and after school clubs from the first week of Reception. Parties were drop off and go. DT’s made their own friends without my involvement.

I wonder what they think of you?

People who "boast" about the weirdest things

• going on and on about how their child never practises their violin/guitar
• bringing up often how they can't get their 8 year old to bed before 10pm
• every single week "oh i can't ever get him to do the spellings".
• he's skipping swimming lesson again this week because he doesn't want to go
• i can't get him off the tablet/ he was on his nintendo games for 5 hours on saturday
• he won't eat any fruit/any veg/ unprocessed meat/sauce on anything/spice/gravy etc etc
• she won't brush her hair

I am never really sure what is expected by way of response. My kids do as they are bloody told (or else.....) so I'm not sure when it became a badge of pride that you never make a kid do anything ever. We are at a "naice" school in a very affluent area, and a lot are like this.

Quite a leap to building friendships where you have a shared interest to building your life around them!

You sound judgy and almost a bit bitter.

My oldest child's class the parents all seem ok. I don't really talk to them much, a polite hello and maybe a short conversation when we pass each other but that's about it.

My youngest children's class I couldn't even identify more than 3 of them if I saw them in the street 😆 one is my friend of 8 years, the other two are also parents of my oldest's friends but everyone else 🤷🏼‍♀️

School mums were pretty normal made some good friends but I accidentally met a loon when I had my first baby. Was mid walk when it suddenly dawned on me she was a full on crank!

She was devastated she had an emergency c section and not the candles and chanting she had planned. She was 45 it was her first baby and she had numerous health issues so this was always an ambitious plan. I had also had an emergency c section and was just grateful Dd and I came out ok as a lovely colleague lost her baby during the birth at the same time. Then she was of course an anti vaxxer… we moved and we lost touch thankfully!

I love this.

I miss that real sense of community that I had when I grew up.

And me! I actually miss it sometimes.

Oh great, another mum / woman bashing thread