'Secret wedding' dress conundrum

[AphroditesSeashell]

Planning an elopement-style wedding for March 2026. A Thursday afternoon registry office ceremony, followed by a quiet meal with our two witnesses. Not booked yet; in our Local Authority, for this kind of 2-person ceremony, you can only apply for the date 3 months in advance.

I've seen a nice dress online. Not sure whether to go for it, or if it's too soon in the process considering nothing is actually booked. It's £240, which i know for a wedding dress is a bargain, but for a dress more generally, I'd consider it a big purchase.

Thought process:
● what if I don't see another one I like as much, if I hold off? Assuming this one will be long sold out/off sale by end of the year. I don't LOVE it but I haven't seen anything I like more. I think for a low-key wedding, hoping for a stunning dress within this kind of budget may be unrealistic.
● what if it's the opposite and I buy this one and in Jan-26 I see an even nicer one?
● What if I change dress size? Bear in mind I've been the same size for years but I'm sure many people could empathise with the eternal hope of shedding some pounds. Maybe I'll magically get some disciple following the purchase of the dress!

If anyone's interested, this is the one I'm considering. The one major downside of a secret wedding is not having anyone to discuss this kind of thing with in real life!

Rosie lace short sleeve dress

Thank you 😊❤

I think you should try it on before putting any more thought into it or making any decisions.

You don't want it to become 'the one that got away' if it sells out and you've built it up in your head to be this great dress that you've never actually tried on. It might not suit you.

Edited to add ....or it might look amazing.

I have no style but I live in Glasgow and would love to come wedding dress shopping with you if you want some company? Good luck

I totally would too! And don't tell me when it is either because I'd be there with the confetti.

I love that dress. If you dis loose weight you can treat yourself to a tailor to adjust it with all the chocolate money you saved.
I still remember a dress I didn’t buy for my wedding 15 years ago!

If you would ever wear it again then get it, if you won't then it pretty much is at odds with the economies you are making with the wedding itself. Don't get me wrong I approve of the simple wedding with no fuss, and I have no problem with you having a nice dress. I think the reason you started this post is that you yourself see the in built conflict and want someone to tell you it's fine. Well it's fine if you think it is fine simple as that.

I think it is absolutely gorgeous, I don't quite understand why you don't love it (I know that everyone's tastes are different, but both the shape and the colour on that one are outstanding, I think. That said, unless you have an extremely tight budget I don't think that there is anything wrong with paying more than that for one that you absolutely adore. It is your wedding day, after all.

seen dress not a wedding one but fine for my and dp partner to be ! Gorg dress £80 I instead to marry in a register office

You absolutely need to get married in a dress you love and that makes you feel gorgeous. As you’re not getting the dress you linked here’s a couple of ideas in pink like your first choice …

Karen Millen dress

Coast dress

Why don’t you post on the Style and Beauty thread and ask for ideas. I’ve seen some amazing options posted there.

It's a pretty dress, but it's very ... square...

It doesn't really do much for the model.
Are you certain it will look better on you?

I agree with the posters saying that you should wear something that you won't regret afterwards. It'll be your wedding day, however you want to spend it. Personally, I would want to wear something that i absolutely love and makes me feel special. The poster with the link to the bridal capes, shows that you could buy a pastel shade dress on vinted, or high street, and choose a stunning cape. It doesn't matter what restaurant you're in, it's an occasion and don't be embarrassed. Another consideration could be to spend more money buying a fabulous dress that you love, with the intention of selling it on vinted afterwards. Please don't buy a dress because it's quite nice. If you're not sure, then it's not the dress! Whatever you choose, I hope you have a lovely wedding day. 🤗

I'd get it and try it on, see if you like it. That might give you the answer as to whether it's 'the one'/worth spending on.

Hi OP, I know the thread has moved on slightly since you posted originally but just wanted to say that I got married on Thursday (7th August) and had a wedding party on Saturday (9th August) and I wore the Rosie N&T dress to both occasions and absolutely loved wearing it every second I had it on!
I had to size up x2.
You can try before you buy if you wanted to try several on or the same dress in different sizes. It was a really easy process. And I certainly didn't look like a little girl in it!
Good luck with your search!! X

Have you considered renting a dress

that is fabulous

I got my wedding dress secondhand from a St Oswald’s Hospice bridal shop. They were absolutely brilliant - designer dress for a bargain price. There’s not one near you, but there’s a Red Cross bridal shop in Edinburgh. Maybe worth a look? It’s so hard looking at dresses online!

We're getting married next May, in a registry office. Both mothers have made comments along the lines of 'get something you can wear again,' 'don't get anything too bridal' and 'maybe something floral'... It's the second time for both of us, so I do get it and they were just being sensible, I suppose, but my DP said 'It's no less a wedding for it happening in a register office and you're no less of a bride. Wear what you like, don't regret not wearing the frock, you'll look gorgeous and anyway, it's always important that everyone knows who the bride is!' Anyway, I'm going wedding dress shopping next week with my little sister and if I want to wear a ball gown at the age of 53 then that's what I'll do 😆I would say that if ever there's a time for you to wear exactly what you want, it's your wedding day; big or small, formal or not. Don't close your mind to anything and have some fun with it!

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