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Story time - This mum at nursery!

114 replies

travelbee · 02/08/2025 11:46

So my DD made a friend in nursery few months back and I was very happy for her. She and her friend got along really well and the Girl was lovely as well. fast forward few months later, I have always seen her mum dropping her off at nursery but we never has a chat or only exchanged a smiles here and there.

then I was shopping with my DD one afternoon and saw that little girl with her mum and both girls were saying Hi and were happy to see each other. Her mum asked me that if she can have my number so we can have a play date etc. I said okay and we exchanged a number. The next day she asked me that if I want to go to soft play with girls, but I already had plans for the day so I said no and then invited her to our place for a play date for next week and she said okay.

On the date of Play date :
even before she came to our house she texted me asking if she can drop her DD off at my place at 7.30 in yhe morning to take her to nursery and then I will have to collect her daughter at 3 pm and then she will collect her from my house at 4.30 pm. ( she said its because she has to go to college and she can't be late, it was for two days a week) Of course I said no and made up something as my DD only went to nursery for morning session and lunch only and I can't have anybody in ny house that early in the morning.

when she arrived at our place, I explained to her about why I can't help her with her DD for nursery. then she told me that she is a single mum, her ex was not good and has no relationship with him and she doesn't have a relationship with her parents as well when I asked if her parents can help with her DD. Play date was fine, the girls played and we had a nice chat.

2 days later, I was out running errands and got a text from her asking for £20 as she was broke and needed money to buy milk and bread and basics. I asked her if she lives near perticular supermarket so I can drop some food to her place as I was laready out. she said she lives far away and will get uber delivery as she didnt have car or doesnt drive. I felt bad and gave her £20 via bank transfer and she said she will give it back next week.

She did gave back money after 10 days. and she asked me for more money the next day as she said that she had sudden electric bill and needs £20. I smelled something fishy and told her that I am not in a position to lend money at the moment and she said okay. She had found out at the point that we are really good financially when she came to visit our house.

This happened 3 more times and I said no all the time. I just wondered everytime that how does she have a money for Vape, getting her nails done every 2 weeks, tattoos and piercings and for Taxis here and there because I saw her many times getting off and to in taxi even to school drop off?

after few months when she asked money again saying that she hasn't got paid yet from her part time job I just flatly told her no and told her not to text me again and blocked her. She has changed her DD school at this point to somewhere closer to their house. and guess what I found out she just lived 5 min walk away from the supermarket I was that day when she asked money for first time.

Any experiences with similar people? I just wonder where does she put all the money she gets from government for being a single mother and the salary that she gets from oart time job? If I was broke, My first priority would be to put food on the table for my kids and family, then household bills and then everything else. Not stupid Vapes and gel nails !

Just had to rant...

OP posts:
LadyKenya · 02/08/2025 16:20

Astleyxyz · 02/08/2025 16:17

A good old benefits bashing thread !

Nothing more, and nothing less.

AlertEagle · 02/08/2025 16:22

travelbee · 02/08/2025 16:17

Yes you are absolutely right. I myself have piercings and I am not judging that. My question was how she paid for all of that if she couldn't even buy milk and bread?

Maybe shes had them before she had her child as for her spending money on vape I agree 💯 there a lot of parents who put their needs before their children

Astleyxyz · 02/08/2025 16:23

Does she have sky tv and a new phone too ???

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/08/2025 16:24

Gardeninrags · 02/08/2025 14:58

Unlikely that you are the highest tax payer in the country OP 🤔

🤣 I wondered about that but decided she meant 'we, in this country, are the highest tax payers' (as opposed to other countries, which isn't actually true). If she is, indeed, the highest tax payer in the country she can afford to give money away 🤣.

travelbee · 02/08/2025 16:24

AlertEagle · 02/08/2025 16:22

Maybe shes had them before she had her child as for her spending money on vape I agree 💯 there a lot of parents who put their needs before their children

Nope. She asked me if I could draw her a particular design for her new tattoo when we met. Asked me 3 times again after that.

OP posts:
Skodacool · 02/08/2025 16:28

Astleyxyz · 02/08/2025 16:17

A good old benefits bashing thread !

No it is not. If the mum has a limited budget she should prioritise her spending. She was asking OP for loans and to provide free child care. It might seem judgmental to question what she spends her money on but she clearly isn’t putting her child first.

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/08/2025 16:34

Skodacool · 02/08/2025 16:28

No it is not. If the mum has a limited budget she should prioritise her spending. She was asking OP for loans and to provide free child care. It might seem judgmental to question what she spends her money on but she clearly isn’t putting her child first.

She's clearly obtaining money amd favours from elsewhere and not relying on benefits though. Plus she's probably in debt.

WonderfulWoman · 02/08/2025 16:40

She asked me if I could draw her a particular design for her new tattoo when we met.

🤣🤣🤣

This thread is like entering the twilight zone!

Astleyxyz · 02/08/2025 16:45

travelbee · 02/08/2025 16:24

Nope. She asked me if I could draw her a particular design for her new tattoo when we met. Asked me 3 times again after that.

Of course she did. 0/10

Astleyxyz · 02/08/2025 16:46

Skodacool · 02/08/2025 16:28

No it is not. If the mum has a limited budget she should prioritise her spending. She was asking OP for loans and to provide free child care. It might seem judgmental to question what she spends her money on but she clearly isn’t putting her child first.

You actually believe this bollocks ?

Tippertapperfeet · 02/08/2025 16:57

travelbee · 02/08/2025 16:24

Nope. She asked me if I could draw her a particular design for her new tattoo when we met. Asked me 3 times again after that.

Why did she ask you to do that? Surely you’re not qualified to do that?

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/08/2025 16:59

The thread title includes the words story time 🤔

travelbee · 02/08/2025 17:02

Tippertapperfeet · 02/08/2025 16:57

Why did she ask you to do that? Surely you’re not qualified to do that?

No I am not qualified to do that. but when she came to my house, she saw paintings that I have done as a little hobby and she asked if I can draw her design on paper and then she can get it done with tattoo artist. I don't know how that works honestly.

OP posts:
Tippertapperfeet · 02/08/2025 17:07

travelbee · 02/08/2025 17:02

No I am not qualified to do that. but when she came to my house, she saw paintings that I have done as a little hobby and she asked if I can draw her design on paper and then she can get it done with tattoo artist. I don't know how that works honestly.

Oh right.

I envy you having all this time today with moving away out of the country tomorrow.

Good luck with it all.

PInkyStarfish · 02/08/2025 17:10

She’s using you and you are being an absolute mug if your give her any money or become childcare for her.

Cease all contact with her and block.

TheFormidableMrsC · 02/08/2025 17:15

PInkyStarfish · 02/08/2025 17:10

She’s using you and you are being an absolute mug if your give her any money or become childcare for her.

Cease all contact with her and block.

Well, it appears OP has no idea where this woman is now and indeed she’s leaving the country for good tomorrow! Totally pointless thread.

JLou08 · 02/08/2025 17:21

I'm sure she has money for food, she sounds like a con artist. If I was ever in a position where I couldn't afford food I'd go to a food bank before asking another parent from nursery who I barely know. I bet she was trying to see how far she could push with the childcare request too. Why would she be doing a college course when she doesn't have the childcare to cover the hours she needs?

pinkyredrose · 02/08/2025 17:23

Tippertapperfeet · 02/08/2025 16:57

Why did she ask you to do that? Surely you’re not qualified to do that?

You don't need qualifications to draw a tattoo design!

MaloryJones · 02/08/2025 17:46

travelbee · 02/08/2025 12:21

Yes I asked her how she is paying for nursery. She said because she is a student, Government gives her 9k for nursery funds + single mother benefits + her part time job salary. I don't know what truth in that.
where does the money go?

I am not bragging but we are highest tax payer in this country and it did sting a little bit knowing where does some of our the tax go!

She is taking the piss, OP

You sound nice, perhaps a bit too nice.
I know Women like Her from my estate and they will never change.
They Take and Take .. . and that is all
Bin Her off

MaloryJones · 02/08/2025 17:50

TheFormidableMrsC · 02/08/2025 14:18

I have been in this exact situation and discovered that there were a whole ton of people at school being asked for money from this one parent. She had a serious drug and gambling addiction. Her children were taken into care. You are right to place boundaries. I’d report to the safeguarding lead at nursery/school and let them do their job.

Absolutely

I was in a bad place, many years ago now, with alcohol . It took the SS taking my children from Me, 6 months of getting sober (and I did) and a few weekends back with Me until I got them back Forever.
I did not fall into alcoholic category and never drank in front of them and I can have the occasional Friday night drink with no issues at all.
Never though did I beg my friends or school mum's for money .
It was my problem, not theirs.

Hope it all turned out well for the Parent and her DCs in the end.

PerplexedConfusedBewildered · 02/08/2025 17:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TheFormidableMrsC · 02/08/2025 17:53

MaloryJones · 02/08/2025 17:50

Absolutely

I was in a bad place, many years ago now, with alcohol . It took the SS taking my children from Me, 6 months of getting sober (and I did) and a few weekends back with Me until I got them back Forever.
I did not fall into alcoholic category and never drank in front of them and I can have the occasional Friday night drink with no issues at all.
Never though did I beg my friends or school mum's for money .
It was my problem, not theirs.

Hope it all turned out well for the Parent and her DCs in the end.

I’m really glad you got yourself back on your feet. Well done! I hope things are better for you now. In the case I refer to, removal was permanent. It was the right decision for the children.

corlan · 02/08/2025 17:55

I just wonder where does she put all the money she gets from government for being a single mother
What money do you get for being a single mother? Just asking because I never got mine - must be owed bloody millions.

FabFifty8 · 02/08/2025 17:56

travelbee · 02/08/2025 12:21

Yes I asked her how she is paying for nursery. She said because she is a student, Government gives her 9k for nursery funds + single mother benefits + her part time job salary. I don't know what truth in that.
where does the money go?

I am not bragging but we are highest tax payer in this country and it did sting a little bit knowing where does some of our the tax go!

Not the point of the thread but there's no such thing as 'single mother benefits'. You can claim if you're on a low income, not because you are a single mother.

ItsameLuigi · 02/08/2025 17:58

travelbee · 02/08/2025 12:21

Yes I asked her how she is paying for nursery. She said because she is a student, Government gives her 9k for nursery funds + single mother benefits + her part time job salary. I don't know what truth in that.
where does the money go?

I am not bragging but we are highest tax payer in this country and it did sting a little bit knowing where does some of our the tax go!

When I was at uni both my kids were in nursery (they were 7 months & almost 2) and it's true there is funding for nursery. They paid for 85(?)% of my nursery fees. (Can't remember the exact amount!) But yeah.. she's just using you.

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