Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Story time - This mum at nursery!

114 replies

travelbee · 02/08/2025 11:46

So my DD made a friend in nursery few months back and I was very happy for her. She and her friend got along really well and the Girl was lovely as well. fast forward few months later, I have always seen her mum dropping her off at nursery but we never has a chat or only exchanged a smiles here and there.

then I was shopping with my DD one afternoon and saw that little girl with her mum and both girls were saying Hi and were happy to see each other. Her mum asked me that if she can have my number so we can have a play date etc. I said okay and we exchanged a number. The next day she asked me that if I want to go to soft play with girls, but I already had plans for the day so I said no and then invited her to our place for a play date for next week and she said okay.

On the date of Play date :
even before she came to our house she texted me asking if she can drop her DD off at my place at 7.30 in yhe morning to take her to nursery and then I will have to collect her daughter at 3 pm and then she will collect her from my house at 4.30 pm. ( she said its because she has to go to college and she can't be late, it was for two days a week) Of course I said no and made up something as my DD only went to nursery for morning session and lunch only and I can't have anybody in ny house that early in the morning.

when she arrived at our place, I explained to her about why I can't help her with her DD for nursery. then she told me that she is a single mum, her ex was not good and has no relationship with him and she doesn't have a relationship with her parents as well when I asked if her parents can help with her DD. Play date was fine, the girls played and we had a nice chat.

2 days later, I was out running errands and got a text from her asking for £20 as she was broke and needed money to buy milk and bread and basics. I asked her if she lives near perticular supermarket so I can drop some food to her place as I was laready out. she said she lives far away and will get uber delivery as she didnt have car or doesnt drive. I felt bad and gave her £20 via bank transfer and she said she will give it back next week.

She did gave back money after 10 days. and she asked me for more money the next day as she said that she had sudden electric bill and needs £20. I smelled something fishy and told her that I am not in a position to lend money at the moment and she said okay. She had found out at the point that we are really good financially when she came to visit our house.

This happened 3 more times and I said no all the time. I just wondered everytime that how does she have a money for Vape, getting her nails done every 2 weeks, tattoos and piercings and for Taxis here and there because I saw her many times getting off and to in taxi even to school drop off?

after few months when she asked money again saying that she hasn't got paid yet from her part time job I just flatly told her no and told her not to text me again and blocked her. She has changed her DD school at this point to somewhere closer to their house. and guess what I found out she just lived 5 min walk away from the supermarket I was that day when she asked money for first time.

Any experiences with similar people? I just wonder where does she put all the money she gets from government for being a single mother and the salary that she gets from oart time job? If I was broke, My first priority would be to put food on the table for my kids and family, then household bills and then everything else. Not stupid Vapes and gel nails !

Just had to rant...

OP posts:
Outside9 · 02/08/2025 15:31

Makes me worry for her child more than anything

travelbee · 02/08/2025 15:33

I am sorry if I have offended anyone, I didn't mean to. I was just curious. I am not saying that its my tax money but I am sure that is someone's.

I have seen hard working people who make the ends meet barely and are still good people. My own parents have built the life from scratch so I know its not easy. However I doubt this country's tax system and benefit system is fair at all. I have had too many tradesman at home this year for building work and so many saying that they are soon leaving this country as tax is just not fair.

well I am pretty sure this country will see its doom sooner or later the way government is working. I am just glad I am moving abroad tomorrow for good.

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 02/08/2025 15:38

travelbee · 02/08/2025 15:33

I am sorry if I have offended anyone, I didn't mean to. I was just curious. I am not saying that its my tax money but I am sure that is someone's.

I have seen hard working people who make the ends meet barely and are still good people. My own parents have built the life from scratch so I know its not easy. However I doubt this country's tax system and benefit system is fair at all. I have had too many tradesman at home this year for building work and so many saying that they are soon leaving this country as tax is just not fair.

well I am pretty sure this country will see its doom sooner or later the way government is working. I am just glad I am moving abroad tomorrow for good.

You are focusing on the wrong thing here. My concern would be her child and perhaps before you move abroad “for good”, you could drop an email to the nursery outlining your concerns in order that they can help if needs be.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Toastedpickle · 02/08/2025 15:40

travelbee · 02/08/2025 15:33

I am sorry if I have offended anyone, I didn't mean to. I was just curious. I am not saying that its my tax money but I am sure that is someone's.

I have seen hard working people who make the ends meet barely and are still good people. My own parents have built the life from scratch so I know its not easy. However I doubt this country's tax system and benefit system is fair at all. I have had too many tradesman at home this year for building work and so many saying that they are soon leaving this country as tax is just not fair.

well I am pretty sure this country will see its doom sooner or later the way government is working. I am just glad I am moving abroad tomorrow for good.

Oh no! How will all the single mums cope without your high taxes paying for them?

Skodacool · 02/08/2025 15:45

mindutopia · 02/08/2025 12:03

She sounds like a user and you need to have better boundaries than that. It would have been very clear the first time she asked for money that that wasn’t going to fly with me. People like this will take and take if they see you never really say no.

I think it’s very clear that OP did set boundaries and close this down at an early stage.

AlertEagle · 02/08/2025 15:46

Piercings, vape and tattoos dont make you a bad parent but this woman is clearly a user and is trying it. You’ve set a boundary and blocked her you've done the right thing.

Orangejuiceisgood · 02/08/2025 15:50

No such things as “single mother” benefits.

RedStripedPyjamas · 02/08/2025 15:50

I am just glad I am moving abroad tomorrow for good.

Tomorrow OP? You sure you haven't got plenty to be getting on with, rather than faffing around on that internet dissing a former CF friend and the benefits system?

cadburyegg · 02/08/2025 15:54

Single mother benefits 🤣 your post is hugely offensive.

deadpan · 02/08/2025 16:03

You could suggest she get in touch with the social prescriber at her GP surgery. They can refer her to a Foodbank and/or financial orgs who would do all the explaining and logistics she's effectively asking you for. Many towns also have a social supermarket now too.
It's lovely that you felt so compelled to be helpful, I'd probably have felt the same, but it seems as though she could do with some 'proper' help and advice.

BuildbyNumbere · 02/08/2025 16:06

Toastedpickle · 02/08/2025 15:40

Oh no! How will all the single mums cope without your high taxes paying for them?

But benefits does come from the tax payer … as does everything that’s is paid for by the government 🤷🏻‍♀️

tuvamoodyson · 02/08/2025 16:10

travelbee · 02/08/2025 12:46

How do you sell the house secretly? and how no neighbours asked money when they were loading their stuff into van for moving out?

Our neighbours sold to a family friend…we didn’t know until the removal van turned up.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 02/08/2025 16:10

No, but I’d blank anyone I didn’t know who asked me for anything that this.

She’s just a chancer, forget her.

Frogs88 · 02/08/2025 16:10

travelbee · 02/08/2025 12:21

Yes I asked her how she is paying for nursery. She said because she is a student, Government gives her 9k for nursery funds + single mother benefits + her part time job salary. I don't know what truth in that.
where does the money go?

I am not bragging but we are highest tax payer in this country and it did sting a little bit knowing where does some of our the tax go!

She was almost certainly scamming money from multiple people and just paying it back occasionally with money borrowed from others. I was recently a student so would have probably had a similar income to her and I was definitely not able to afford taxis/beauty treatments!

Tippertapperfeet · 02/08/2025 16:11

Single mother benefits?

And you’re the highest tax payer in the country?

Port1aCastis · 02/08/2025 16:14

I'm a single Mother and I have a tattoo and my ears pierced I'm also extremely pissed off with all the scathing stereotypical shite written about being a single Mum.
Although I do agree that the Mum in the OP seems a CF.so don't lend her a penny.

Viviennemary · 02/08/2025 16:14

Do not lend money or act as an unpaid childminder. Because this just attracts users

travelbee · 02/08/2025 16:15

TheFormidableMrsC · 02/08/2025 15:38

You are focusing on the wrong thing here. My concern would be her child and perhaps before you move abroad “for good”, you could drop an email to the nursery outlining your concerns in order that they can help if needs be.

I have thought about this but when she changed her nursery, she didn't say which nursery. I asked her and she said she is confused about two nurseries but haven't made the decision and then suddenly she changed the nursery in a span of two days and I never saw her again.

the little girl will be starting reception this year. She was a really lovely girl and my DD loved her and still asks about her.

OP posts:
WonderfulWoman · 02/08/2025 16:16

I am just glad I am moving abroad tomorrow for good.

Is this thread a piss take?

travelbee · 02/08/2025 16:16

Toastedpickle · 02/08/2025 15:40

Oh no! How will all the single mums cope without your high taxes paying for them?

lol. Nope. I am a good person and I am not going to get bullied by you !

OP posts:
travelbee · 02/08/2025 16:17

AlertEagle · 02/08/2025 15:46

Piercings, vape and tattoos dont make you a bad parent but this woman is clearly a user and is trying it. You’ve set a boundary and blocked her you've done the right thing.

Yes you are absolutely right. I myself have piercings and I am not judging that. My question was how she paid for all of that if she couldn't even buy milk and bread?

OP posts:
Astleyxyz · 02/08/2025 16:17

A good old benefits bashing thread !

Port1aCastis · 02/08/2025 16:19

Astleyxyz · 02/08/2025 16:17

A good old benefits bashing thread !

Seems like it

travelbee · 02/08/2025 16:20

Port1aCastis · 02/08/2025 16:14

I'm a single Mother and I have a tattoo and my ears pierced I'm also extremely pissed off with all the scathing stereotypical shite written about being a single Mum.
Although I do agree that the Mum in the OP seems a CF.so don't lend her a penny.

nope. that was not my point. I myself have piercings and I don't judge all that. I admire hard working single mothers. Trust I really do. My point was how was all of that paid if she was too broke to buy milk and bread?

OP posts:
Tippertapperfeet · 02/08/2025 16:20

Astleyxyz · 02/08/2025 16:17

A good old benefits bashing thread !

Oh is that what it is. Ffs.

i was a single mother. I have tattoos and piercings. I was even a student.

I didn’t get any specific single mother benefits though.