Should men be allowed on post-natal wards?

[Kibble19]

This is off the back of another thread from a woman who is very concerned about the presence of unknown men on the post-natal ward at hospital.

I had my child during the pandemic so have no experience of normal practices in post-natal wards, and I appreciate they may vary from Trust to Trust.

When I had my baby, I was on the post-natal ward for several days (PPH, sepsis pathway joy). There were three visiting times each day, one hour each. Partners had to call the ward the day before to book their slot the next day, for social distancing purposes. I had no choice but to just manage on my own, as did the other women there.

Should we have a system like that (minus the need to book your visit) instead of the very wide open hours that many hospitals seem to have? Specific hours for visiting (with all visitors gone by, say, 7pm) only? No men or family members overnight?

1 in 4 women in England & Wales has suffered domestic abuse, so there must be many women who are anxious about the presence of men when they’ve had their baby.

No

The nursing staff used to do all that and more, sadly its diminished to women’s detriment

You think it would be better for mothers sleep to have fathers constantly in and out all night instead of just staying on the ward?

With twins and feeding and nappies plus a c-section, Mine would've been in and out like a yo yo. Much less disturbance for him to just quietly give me a baby or change a nappy.

This thread makes me feel so lucky that my local hospital has private rooms. With DS1 I had him in a delivery suite and was back on the ward for about an hour before moving to a room, with the others I was in a mid-wife led unit and the room was mine from labour till I was ready to leave.

I was induced for every baby and did spend time on a ward for each and I felt so uncomfortable being around so many strangers when I was doing something so private.

I really wish maternity care centred the needs of women more, hospital conditions are so stressful, I'm convinced in its current state it creates a much less safe environment for women to give birth in.

Of course it's up to women to decide if the hospital they are in allows dads overnight

How? Are women just walking into hospitals making demands on policies?

Anyway to answer the question I don't think there should be men or any other visitors for that matter on a maternity ward overnight, but women do need help with their babies and I suppose currently there is no one else they're going to get it from.

Great idea! Though I suspect without the promise of a bed and a cup of tea in the morning very few men would be up for this

I very clearly said if the hospital they are in allow dads overnight.

You even quoted it.

100%

This is how little people respect women and babies. Happily letting unvetted men access to because the occasional man may or may not prove to be helpful, is setting SUCH a low bar for women omen’s healthcare.

@CrispieCake good point about the family member (whether male of female partner) being unvetted. All staff will have DBS checks. And if the mum is in a vulnerable position and has difficulty caring for her baby, then someone’s unchecked partner doesn’t seem safe.

Like an earlier poster said - my H is lovely. But I would not have accepted him staying overnight for the sake of the other women on the ward. Thankfully my hospital had restricted visiting hours and a no men rule after visiting hours finished. They had a few single rooms, for people who were poorly (I was in one of those).

I’ve read it in a different way to you - that it’s up to them to decide if the hospital should allow dads.

nevertheless - it shouldn’t be an option. Worm and babies are patients and should come first.

If it's a safeguarding issue at night, how isn't it also a safeguarding issue during the day?

If that's the case then fathers shouldn't be allowed on the ward at all.

You mean just the women who don't want men on the ward overnight?

Having DH overnight was the best option for me and my babies as patients and was putting us first.

Because people are mostly asleep on a nighttime, staffing is different and people are more vulnerable. Also it’s dark.

I mean it’s not rocket science

What about the other women in the room? Was it best for them?

They all had their partners with them too so I assume they weren't against it.

Doesn’t mean they wanted YOUR partner there - or that any given woman wants your partner there.

True. Though in that case, they can't have it both ways. They clearly wanted their partner there so would have to accept other partners there too or no partners at all including their own.

For me, it was absolutely worth it to have my own DH there.

How would you feel if someone didn’t want your partner there?

If they also had their own partner there? I'd find it odd.

No, if they didn’t.

I'd be understanding and sympathetic but DH wouldn't be going anywhere.

So you effectively would give a shit.

snowy should anyone else give a shit that you feel you need your DH there?

I didn't particularly like men being around when trying to learn to breast feed but it made no difference if it was a dad or a friend of the baby's.

I think visitors should be allowed in to help the mum, especially if she is single mum or dad isn't there. I'm sure this helps her and the baby. I read on here recently about a single mum that picked up her baby into her bed and fell asleep and baby fell and fractured skull.

However I think visitors should be briefed on strict rules especially voice volume if other mums need to sleep

I'd give a shit about my babies more and their needs.

Unless this person fancied shuffling along to my bed space and passing me a baby or two every time they cried, needed a nappy change or a feed?

If they are asking for my DH to leave, they clearly wouldn't give a shit that I needed him there.