Is this too much food for a 3.5 year old?

[Mattressmama]

For context, dd has eaten most of it but left 2 of the crackers. She might go back to them later if she wants to!

I think this is fine for her age.

My mum has said this is excessive and she’ll end up fat like I am if I let her eat this much food! (My mum has lots of issues around food and with me and food growing up and my self-esteem has suffered terribly as a result). I am fat now and my mum hates it.

Dd is on the 52nd centile and isn’t in any way fat. When she has a toddler tummy when younger my mum went on and on about it.

I’m mum’s carer so we are with her daily.

I’ve already spoken to her about not making the comments around dd but she still says them to me and it messes with my head that I’m getting it wrong.

I have attached a pic but it’s under review.

Tell your mum to keep her mouth shut that is absolutely fine

Totally fine.
Im really sorry to hear the things your mum says; that’s horrible.

Im more shocked you dont butter your crackers dry crackers are horrible. Is it lunch,tea or a snack? For tea absolutely fine, for lunch i would of done 2 crackers. For a snack its huge. What your mum said is disgusting and it isnt an extremely huge portion just slightly on the bigger side
Edit sorry im blind you have buttered them and for some reason I thought it said 2.5 not 3 .5 ignore everything I wrote

They are buttered and sandwiched together as that’s how she likes them. This is her lunch!

Ignore your mum. Do NOT make a big thing about food portions. There is nothing excessive about that lunch, and three year olds will seldom over eat savoury foods anyway.

If your dd's on the 50th percentile, just keep doing what you are doing. You're doing fine.

I think its fine for an active preschooler.. I worked in a preschool with no kitchen so they all had lunchboxes and this wouldn't have stood out either way. And she stopped when full, that's a really good thing for her to learn to do!

This is what my 3 year old and sometimes my 5 year old would eat for lunch too, OP.

I think many kids do eat more as I've seen the lunches other parents give their kids at nursery but any more than what is in your picture would just get wasted if I gave it to mine. Mine seem to have small stomachs that empty quickly like newborns!

Of course it's not too much!

If anything it looks a bit meagre for lunch - there's little nutrition in a piece of cucumber and a few strawberries, but you know your child best.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with your mother on a daily basis!

I think you need to keep reminding yourself that this is your mum’s issue and that there is something wrong with your mum. There is nothing wrong with you, or what you’re feeding your daughter.

If your daughter looks as she should for her age and no professional in her life has ever raised any concerns, then you’re going the right thing.

Personally, I’d be inclined to tell her that you love her and you understand that she has issues over food. However, these are HER issues and you will not allow her issues over food to warp your daughter’s mind, as it has yours. If she says one more word about your daughter’s food or body shape, then you will phone Social Services, tell them that you are no longer caring for her and that she is now their responsibility. Even if you don’t mean it, it may give her something to think about.

I don’t have a child that age but I often get videos on social media and kids there eat this amount (or more!) Only difference is cucumber might be thinly sliced and ham rolled up but mine at that age would have enjoyed doing that themselves.

What you are feeding your child is fine, and I would stop being your mum's carer pronto, as she is clearly bullying you and your child.

I have a 3.5 year old and she would be perfectly fine with this too. She might leave some of the crackers and would probably ask for more strawberries!

No it’s fine. I’m shocked at pp saying it’s too many crackers for lunch and huge for a snack. My 5 year old would eat this as a snack and still want more. She’s very active and skinny. If your dd is 50th percentile and healthy then this is fine for her.

This, my just turned 2 yo would easily eat that and want more!

Do you want to be your mums carer?

When you say you are with your Mum daily, do you mean she lives with you or you live with her.
If neither I would do my very very best not to be with her at my dd's meal times.

Nothing in earth wrong with that @Mattressmama. To put it bluntly your DM needs to stfu or your DC will have hang ups about food for life .

It’s fine. DD would have eaten twice that. She was very active and on the 90th for weight and off the chart for height. Has stayed a perfect BMI (lucky girl!).

What’s more worrying is your mum making those comments around a child. You’ve asked her not to, she still does. Is there a cognitive reason? If not, tell her you will have to leave if she does it again, mean it and do. Quickly, quietly, and with communication, “sorry mum, I’ve said no comments like that around Hannah. We’re off, see you tomorrow”. Every time. I predict it will take about three times and she won’t again. You’ll still get PA stuff, but she won’t.

It took FIL twice.

Your mum needs to stfu or you will have to stop living with / caring for her.

detrimental to your child’s health. Put your child first.

Nope. I'd put some butter on the crackers too, if she'd eat it.

My 2.5 year old sometimes eats more than this but sometimes less. Keep offering a range of food and don't make a thing about portions. Calorie wise id say it's quite low, don't be afraid to let her have more healthy fats.

The quantity looks fine to me. However, the content is, imo, not so good, as it's a bit heavy on UPF. I personally wouldn't be comfortable feeding a young child processed meat due to its link to cancer - and the crackers have little, if any, nutritional value. I think I would replace the ham with cheese or slices of cold, cooked chicken breast and substitute wholemeal toast for the crackers.

😂 she'd better not see my DS3.5's lunch then! He'd eat all that and a bowl of pesto pasta too! HV not bothered because she says he's in proportion to his body!

She’s mad, that’s a modest lunch for a toddler. My 18 month old would eat 50% more again if she was hungry and had been running around. Maybe not if the crackers but definitely if it was more fruit or cheese!

I think you need to be clear that YOU do not want to hear her thoughts on anything you or your daughter are eating. I wonder if you’ve soft soaped it a bit “I don’t want DD hearing you say this” but that’s left it open for her to talk to you about it. I’d tell her if she’s really worried she can speak to her GP about it but you will not be staying to listen if she brings the topic up again.

Not the best or the worst sort of lunch. I always tried to look at the whole day though as that gives a better idea of quantity and healthiness. If they have too many carbs at lunch, you can balance it out with fruit/veg/dairy etc over snacks and dinner.