Is this too much food for a 3.5 year old?

[Mattressmama]

For context, dd has eaten most of it but left 2 of the crackers. She might go back to them later if she wants to!

I think this is fine for her age.

My mum has said this is excessive and she’ll end up fat like I am if I let her eat this much food! (My mum has lots of issues around food and with me and food growing up and my self-esteem has suffered terribly as a result). I am fat now and my mum hates it.

Dd is on the 52nd centile and isn’t in any way fat. When she has a toddler tummy when younger my mum went on and on about it.

I’m mum’s carer so we are with her daily.

I’ve already spoken to her about not making the comments around dd but she still says them to me and it messes with my head that I’m getting it wrong.

The amount looks fine but not that nutritious. I would be getting rid of the ultra processed ham and giving her some real meat or fish with some actual protein in. Ham is full of salt and crap

This is a plate of snacks for a toddler I would still give full meals too.

What a windup

2 of my kids ate more than that at that age and both average size , they would eat that with a yoghurt and banana too .

Ignore your mum ! You know what your dc would eat, all kids are different, my smallest 25th centile dc eats huge amounts, and would eat an adult portion given the chance

Fwiw my toddler eats enough to sustain three full grown men

That would have been a fairly large main meal for mine and there would probably have been some left but they honestly ate like birds as pre schoolers. Very picky and tiny amounts. DS is now a teenager and could empty the fridge if he was allowed. They are all different and it changes as they grow up.

Feed your child real food (not ultra processed) and let her eat as much of it as she likes. My 4yo was a chonk when he was 18mo but I always gave him as much proper food as he wanted. He’s now a normal weight, very active 4yo.

They aren’t dry, it looks like there is something spreadable between the crackers?

Nope it’s absolutely not too much food. Your mum is totally toxic and I’d be keeping my distance to be honest. You might be her carer but yours and your daughter’s wellbeing comes first. Get some more help in if you can. You really don’t want your child growing up with food issues.

What dies she eat in a day, honestly? Everything, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks?

I ask because honestly, you see an overweight parent and often the child is overweight. She might not be now, but if you are genuinely overweight, you need to be sure you don’t have an unrealistic expectation of what is normal.

mine would not have eaten this much, but if your daughter had eggs first breakfast, chicken and veg first dinner, fruit as a dns j fine.

if she had a full croissant fir breakfast, Dino bite crap fir dinner, crisps and choc fir a snack, not fine.

its not one meal in isolation, but what is eaten over a day, everyday.

This is fine! In fact it looks like a tiny amount! What's not is your mum's attitude. Honestly if she's going f to say things like that she's better off not seeing her at all. I say this because my grandma used to tell me how fat I was (she did it to my mum too) and I've spent most of my adult life barely eating and over exercising to compensate. I'm now overweight for the first time in my life and looking back at photos of me when I though I was obese I realise what a totally distorted image of myself I had when I was actually very thin.
Keep giving your child what she likes and eats. They need food and calories because they're growing!

Well, it’s significantly less than my four-in-three-months DC eats for lunch but my main issue, and I fear yours should be too, is the way your mum talks to your daughter and how she talks about you. Please don’t allow her to push her unhealthy attitude to food onto your child, and don’t just put up with her being so negative about you either!

Sorry but you shouldn't be counting carbs for toddlers. They need energy. This is how disordered eating begins.

I’d add some cheese and my DC’s liked raw peppers too. Maybe a bit of humous and breadsticks instead of the crackers but that was their preference. Mine would need a bit more than this and a yoghurt after. Or to dip the strawberries in.
Both are healthy and active, never been obese. We always had snacky lunches in the school holidays, quick to prepare and they got what they liked. Sorry you’re dealing with a nightmare mum, please ignore her. No kid is going to get fat from this if they’re active.

Perfectly normal meal for a nearly 4 year old.

If she can't stop mentally abusing a preschooler (which is what this is if she hears one word of it - and she will understand that Grandma says she's fat), she'd best start looking for visiting carers.

I’d have done a similar lunch for my kids but probably fewer crackers and additional cheese/hummus with more fruit and Greek yoghurt.

So, a different lunch, then. 😂

@Mattressmama
fwiw that's not a lot for a meal.

My just turned 4 year old has something similar to that for lunch many days (her childminder has never commented into much) plus a yoghurt. She might have a wrap or some pasta instead of crackers. Crackers buttered as a sandwich is also something she requests 😂

Very odd comment.

As I said- a similar lunch:

same items- crackers, fruit, ham, veg
additional items- dairy and protein