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Millionaire£ at 23, self made. Feel lost.

677 replies

Jonesqua · 26/07/2025 11:03

I became a millionaire£ at 23.

All happened between 20-23.

Self made, have 3 buy to let houses with 300k£ equity in them rented out. With 750k£ liquid money.

The change happened so fast. All of my friends have regular income , it’s sometimes hard to do things I want to do as income difference.

I am use to making money so quickly that essentially I feel as if I’ve lost touch over it. As no one around me friend wise can relate or I speak with about it. Does anyone else feel like this in a similar situation?

I’ve lost motivation. Feel disconnected from the people around me who I grew up with.

OP posts:
Ansaryon · 26/07/2025 14:39

Jonesqua · 26/07/2025 11:38

Then the cost gets painful.

I want to do things but not bare the full cost and feel used.

Frankly if you can't afford to hire a private jet and take your friends then you're not rich enough to hire a private jet full stop. And private jets for longhaul holidays are a rare thing full stop!

Many years ago I made a pact with a friend, that when my dad died we would use my Avios to go to Japan that Christmas - as I felt I would have a mental breakdown otherwise. He laughed it off, thinking I was joking, but two years later my dad did die - in his mid 60s, and it was after a short illness. I took out an Amex credit card, paid for the funeral on it (as well as some other stuff) and ping, out popped a "take your friend for free" voucher - I wasn't expecting that when I made the pact, and it meant my Avios went twice as far. We did fly to Japan, we did it in First, and it cost less than a pair of economy tickets would have done (assuming 0.5p per Avios). I wasn't a millionaire, but he talks about it to this day - it was one of the best things we did, a holiday of a lifetime.

That is what you should be doing if you're a millionaire looking at private jets. If you value your friends you'll take them along, and find ways to mitigate the "but I have to pay you" thing.

In my case the offer of a "free" ticket meant there was no guilt about being given a free holiday. (And no, I didn't mention the cash part of the cost, which was £500 or so - don't ask, don't tell). I used points for his hotel room and paid cash for mine, and when he asked - I just said I'd paid for his room on points.

Several years later I had a couple of Barclaycard vouchers expiring, and I'd built my stash of Avios again thanks to casino cashback, Tesco and sign up bonuses. I used them to send another friend and her husband to Toronto for a short break, again using hotel points to book their room and paying the cash for the redemption without telling them. It was via business class and again, to this day they mention it frequently... it made their year! And from my point of view, it was a nice way of saying "thank you" for getting me through the Covid era - they "bubbled" with me, as I live on my own, and it saved my sanity.

I could have done neither, or even converted the Avios into some Sainsbury's shopping, but where's the fun in that? Part of life is putting the sparkle into other people's lives, and if you're a millionaire - that's what I'd be doing.

PrincessPammy · 26/07/2025 14:40

Jonesqua · 26/07/2025 14:37

Would a bank give three mortgages to someone with no income?

the intelligence here is crazy low

It sure is.

I asked if you were declaring all your income because to make £700K this year - is that gross or net?

If it's net you need to be earning double that.

Jonesqua · 26/07/2025 14:40

Mewling · 26/07/2025 14:39

Where did you get the money initially for the deposits on the houses? Bank of Mum & Dad?

Bet your mates love being referred to as “average”.

Read my posts, 20th time repeating now.

music.

OP posts:
Venalopolos · 26/07/2025 14:40

SirRaymondClench · 26/07/2025 14:36

Sorry but why does OP need to have a 'conscience' about their success?

They've taken literally nothing away from anyone else to get to where they are.

All this 'hair shirt' bullshit on MN doesn't play out in the rest of the world. Not everyone has a poverty mindset.

They don’t need a conscience, but this whole thread is about the OP feeling disconnected and without purpose. It’s clearly affecting their wellbeing negatively. I think that’s what PP is referring to.

OP is perfectly entitled to be smug and arrogant and rich and happy. But they have found that those first two adjectives aren’t congruent with the last, which usually requires meaningful connection with people and the world. Philanthropy and altruism is known to provide that connection, so it’s sound advice.

AmandineChamallow · 26/07/2025 14:41

Harrysmummy246 · 26/07/2025 14:39

So why the hell are you on Mumsnet? Why did you pick this forum?

To get an ego boost by boasting to women about being Mr Money Bags

DalstonsRhubarb · 26/07/2025 14:41

(For the benefit of genuine posters, you can’t draw a lifetime income of £100k from £1m. £40k is more like it.)

EuclidianGeometryFan · 26/07/2025 14:41

Jonesqua · 26/07/2025 14:40

Read my posts, 20th time repeating now.

music.

Stop replying to people who haven't read the thread.

IZK · 26/07/2025 14:42

I've read this exact thread before.

AmythestBangle · 26/07/2025 14:42

@summerskyblue why not at least READ the OP's posts before commenting? I will never understand why people do this. It seems to be happening more and more and is making MN very annoying at times.

I am, as I said in my post, critical of the OP, but I fully share his annoyance with people who cannot be bothered to read yet feel free to comment.

Needsleepneedcoffee · 26/07/2025 14:42

I've read most of your responses, honestly you do come off quite rude in some of your replies, but also some of the things you're saying make me think you're possibly autistic and chronically depressed which would honestly feel the same whether you had £1 or £1000000000 in the bank.

I think you may do well to seek a private autism assessment, and also start therapy to work through some of the feelings you seem to have. It's especially sad if you feel this way from morning to night.

I am also not rich, but I can appreciate that the life you're leading feels very different to the lives that your friends who you have grown with, and that must feel horrible.

Are there friends from work that you could do the exciting expensive things with?
Other expensive opportunities, if you want to enjoy with your friends, could they sometimes maybe contribute to those things if they were given opportunity to save? I know you would prefer to decide what you want to do then go, but when finances are a constraint of friends you either go alone, with someone else or wait.

I think you have had some good opportunities you have created for yourself, but also been really lucky to have the kind of support you do from family, that's in turn allowed you to invest your money (otherwise you'd have most likely spent money on rent,bills etc) which in itself is something that might be good to remind you is a connection you have. Presumably your family brought you up to be a confident man, who is able to make sound financial choices- was this modelled to you by your parents? I assume so. I think rebuilding connection to people stems from understanding where our connection are formed, and at their strongest, and appreciating what those connections have done for us and if its possible building on that. If there are people who have been supportive of you within your career in a similar situation maybe try and have a closer bond to them?

In 10 years time you will likely look around and realise that your connection to different people is just different.
You'll have friends you can contact to say, F1 in miami? Friends you can say, it's mum and dad's anniversary- you coming? There will be friends who are supportive in different areas, all connections but for different times.

But also, please don't fall into letting everyone know everything. You have touched on this, with saying friends think your car is financed but purchased outright etc. Never let people know you have enough that they can leach. Your money is always tied up. Whilst not rich, I have more than many of my friends, less than a few. No one knows what I do or don't have. I wave away financial conversations with "Ah! Yes! Credit card! /finance! I couldn't help it!"

Wishing you all the best.

Beachtastic · 26/07/2025 14:42

Harrysmummy246 · 26/07/2025 14:39

So why the hell are you on Mumsnet? Why did you pick this forum?

Well, the Pinterest pages shared earlier show an obsession with older women, as well as $$$$$$$$$$$, fancy cars, scary masks, and, erm, weapons.

Jonesqua · 26/07/2025 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mewling · 26/07/2025 14:42

Jonesqua · 26/07/2025 14:40

Read my posts, 20th time repeating now.

music.

Music! Get to fuck. 😅

PrincessPammy · 26/07/2025 14:42

DalstonsRhubarb · 26/07/2025 14:41

(For the benefit of genuine posters, you can’t draw a lifetime income of £100k from £1m. £40k is more like it.)

Agree.

Far less if you're just 23

Jonesqua · 26/07/2025 14:42

Beachtastic · 26/07/2025 14:42

Well, the Pinterest pages shared earlier show an obsession with older women, as well as $$$$$$$$$$$, fancy cars, scary masks, and, erm, weapons.

Edited

The older woman part fits in pretty well with this site.

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 26/07/2025 14:43

bBetween me and a few friends we have very different income. At one point I was a bit embarrassed when we drove from her mid terrace house with two bedrooms - her DD shared with her GM - to my large detached house with pool. But you know what? It wasn’t an issue. Yes if we wanted to go out we had to go with her budget (she wouldn’t appreciate me treating her), but I can have a good time eating a panini at a cafe as a posh meal.
And I also have friends who are far wealthier than me. It’s a matter of ‘reading the room’. It’s not very considerate to moan about having so much money etc to people who don’t. Just don’t talk about it.
If you feel a bit lost, perhaps turn some of that money making talent into doing something for others. ‘Giving back’ apparently is very good for the soul.
My late DH was on a social mobility charity, placing disadvantaged students with law firms for work experience, and helping them make connections. He also raised money for MND. There’s lots you can do that can make you feel you are helping people.
So don’t try so hung up on what you have and others don’t, just start thinking about how you can make things better for others. Oh and grow that wealth!

BunnyLake · 26/07/2025 14:43

AmandineChamallow · 26/07/2025 14:41

To get an ego boost by boasting to women about being Mr Money Bags

I don’t think anyone is feeling OP’s ‘appeal’ monetary or otherwise.

PrincessPammy · 26/07/2025 14:43

Do your parents know you're unhappy and chatting away to middle age mums on a saturday afternoon?

AmandineChamallow · 26/07/2025 14:44

Do some volunteering OP. Good for your well being and you might make friends

Nchangeo · 26/07/2025 14:44

endofthelinefinally · 26/07/2025 14:19

Laughing about that is awful. Some of us did actually lose loved ones in the Bali bombing.

I have no idea what your talking about.

I am laughing at the poster suggesting OP go travelling to Bali. No one’s died but they have absolutely lost the plot. Greet each other by staring into each others silently for a few minutes, hang around with breatharians, do regular Ayahuasca, one of their partners has a dedicated womb room. They walk around bare foot holding hands and chanting to reconnect with their roots and reject capitalism. Whilst sitting in a room with thousands of pounds of high tech equipment with iPhones 😂

Honestly if you any idea of what I am talking about you would laugh too. Although it is sad also. They are lost. I don’t think they are coming back to reality.

EuclidianGeometryFan · 26/07/2025 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

And you are still only replying to people about money.

I am done with you. You are not sincerely asking for help, and not engaging with people who have taken time to give it.

ChocolateAndPistachioGelato · 26/07/2025 14:44

What music got you so rich that you can buy so many houses?

Jonesqua · 26/07/2025 14:44

After reading all these comments I’m going to become a Buddhist in Bali and have a donkey sanctuary.

OP posts:
PrincessPammy · 26/07/2025 14:45

Maybe there is a mum out there who will go into their son's bedroom and ask why they are on Mumsnet 😂😂😂

Jonesqua · 26/07/2025 14:45

ChocolateAndPistachioGelato · 26/07/2025 14:44

What music got you so rich that you can buy so many houses?

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OP posts:
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