Could/would you have someone to stay right now?

[DancingLions]

If they rang your doorbell and announced they'd come to stay for a few days.

Relative and I are in disagreement! Relative thinks it's a nice surprise and if the visitor doesn't mind what state the house is in and/or whether you need to leave them to go to work, then it's all fine. You should be happy to see them and grateful they made the effort. I think it's massively inconvenient and would far rather know the person is coming so I can prepare, maybe book a couple of days off etc.

We're struggling to see each others view point on this so I'm curious as to what other people think.

Definitely inconvenient!!! I have a sofa bed but I would be in a hell of a flap thinking about meals and where the spare bedding is!! 🤣🤣

No way could I have someone to stay

my house is nowhere near ‘visitor ready’

Now I’ve retired it wouldn’t be the end of the world. We’ve always got a spare room made up that stays relatively clean between visitors, so I wouldn’t turn them away. I’d still find it unspeakably rude to turn up on somebody’s doorstep and expect them to drop everything though!

The only visitors that are allowed to stay in our home are the grandchildren.
Late teens now so hardly stay over anymore.
Thankfully the friends and family wouldn't just turn up.

Depends why they’ve turned up.

Friend or relative needing someone for a few days because something has gone wrong in their life - yes absolutely I’d put them up and they’d take me as they find me. The spare bed is always clean though (I class bedding washed three months ago and nobody slept it since as clean).

Distant Auntie Sandra randomly popping down with a ‘ta-da! I’ve come to see you!’ - nope, I’d be showing her where the Premier Inn is and meeting her for lunch tomorrow.

My house is clean enough but I don’t have a spare bedroom.

sure, obviously i'd expect them to order a takeaway or be happy having whatever we were already having for dinner but assuming I liked the person I'd be pleased to see them. I would rather know in advance though.

really inconvenient! The place is filthy, there's no food in the fridges and sheets on the spare bed need changing before anyone else stays.
i have visitors coming at weekend but will have sorted the housework by then

No - DP often goes to the spare room if he can’t sleep and is tossing and turning so might wake me. The bed would need changed as he’s definitely slept in it since last time. Food-wise it would be okay as long as the person didn’t have a very specific diet, eg I don’t think we could feed a vegan a decent meal if they arrived right now.

I hate “poppers in” though, never mind if they were going to actually want to stay over.

A few years ago I would have answered no, definitely not! After certain events, I've downsized massively and there are still boxes in the second bedroom but I could open the sofabed (just). I know that very few of my friends or family would do this to me, and I would now take it as a compliment, strangely. I do realise this is just my personal take - I think because I've had a chaotic time of it, I'd "excuse" myself whereas when I thought everything was going well, I was hard on myself about the standards I kept. Hope that makes sense!

We don't have a spare bed so it would be tricky, someone would have to sleep on the sofa and they'd have to accept that we are all out at work during the week and may have plans for the evenings but it is do-able. Would certainly not mind (and have done it in the past) if they were stuck in our area for some reason, or were unexpectedly on business locally and didn't mind us being at work.

If it was just a pleasure trip where dates could be agreed in advance I'd prefer some notice so I could actually spend some time with them. What if they turned up and we were away on holiday?

Actually yes to this sort of circumstances, of course. Anyone comfortable enough to see our home as a haven would I’m sure be comfortable enough to sling on fresh bedlinen, order a takeaway, and not mind that the cat often likes to sleep on the spare bed.

My homes are always clean and tidy enough that if I have visitors no prep or planning is required. But, that still doesn't mean I welcome un-invited overnight guests! Obviously if it was a friend / family member in need because of some emergency then of course I'd welcome them, but just turning up unanounced for a short break...no way. That's just unbelievably rude and self centred. Even in the case of an emergency I would have expected a call / text with some advance warning, if nothing else because chances are I wouldn't be in!

I won't be telling the relative about this thread, I don't think they've even heard of MN so should be safe! I really just wanted to see what other people thought as when I (I think tactfully) tried to explain why a scheduled visit is nicer they made me feel I was being mean and inflexible!

I do actually like spending time with them, if I know it's happening. But I like to be prepared and I don't like having to go off to work and leave them to it. I'd like to be able to do things with them.

Crikey, it would be my biggest nightmare. Although I’ve just changed the sheets on one of the beds so that’s a good start I suppose.

Oh and just to clarify. There was no emergency. They just had a few days off work and decided to turn up!

Happens all the time here. My adult son is back home and it's lovely having his friends staying. We are lucky that it's a pretty big house with a couple of spare rooms. I try to make sure that the sheets are clean for unexpected guests.

I could but would definitely rather not, not keen on house guests at all.

Unless like a PP, it was a close friend who was in a spot of bother and needed a place to stay, in which case, very welcome at any time.

I have the room, my house is clean and tidy but I would still be saying no!

No. I would be really annoyed. I hate having people staying. It makes me really uncomfortable as I just want to have peace and privacy.

It would be absolutely fine by me, but DH would hate it - he is more introverted and needs time to get used to the idea that someone will be around all the time for a few days.

nope

I could provide parking and a double bedroom. Plenty of hot water and a bottle of wine. I'd need to nip to the supermarket for something for supper.

However it's a working day so I'd want to go to bed by 9.30 and would expect them to retire too. I have to be out at 8am latest so I'd expect them to leave by then too.

So I'm fine providing a bed for someone who's arrived on a late flight but not to host visitors looking for a sociable evening.

I'm in the minority on here because I've got absolutely no problem with unannounced guests. I've a few friends and relatives who will just turn up, and I think it's a lovely surprise. If I'm busy though, I will carry on with what I'm doing and chat at the same time, maybe ask them to make the drinks or whatever. My house is usually messy but the type of people who visit unannounced aren't generally the type of people to care.

I've never had unexpected overnight guests (though I've only had a couple of days notice occasionally) but I wouldn't mind at all, as long as they were understanding that I may be working or already have plans.

I love having guests. I will 'look after' them, as in making the room inviting, cooking nice meals, taking them to tourist places if that's what they want and I have the time; but I also expect them to make themselves at home including being more self sufficient when needed, e.g. cooking, tidying up after themselves, entertaining themselves if I'm working.

This person came for 3 nights, not just one! I think one would have been ok, still not ideal but more doable.