Could/would you have someone to stay right now?

[DancingLions]

If they rang your doorbell and announced they'd come to stay for a few days.

Relative and I are in disagreement! Relative thinks it's a nice surprise and if the visitor doesn't mind what state the house is in and/or whether you need to leave them to go to work, then it's all fine. You should be happy to see them and grateful they made the effort. I think it's massively inconvenient and would far rather know the person is coming so I can prepare, maybe book a couple of days off etc.

We're struggling to see each others view point on this so I'm curious as to what other people think.

Yes!! I would have been ok with it before but now I’m lucky enough to have a genuine spare bedroom (ok it’s so tiny the guest would have to be under 5’9”, but then lots of people are) I would be delighted and would throw the door open. I’d inform them of the bus routes and how to entertain themselves rather than take time off work, and would probably book a table at the pub rather than exhaust myself cooking, but mi casa es su casa.

I would be less delighted if it’s one of those things where you’re supposed to give up your bed. I have a friend who at 57 is still moving beds when her semi-in-laws come to stay and I think that is taking the absolute piss,

OMG no way. Unless it's my children!

What? No!! Popping in for a cup of tea or something I don’t mind although I am quite direct so would make it clear at the outset that, whilst welcome, it would only be for a specific amount of time. Coming to stay is an entirely different kettle of fish, especially if it was for several nights. The spare bed is always made up and it would only take me a few minutes to get the rest of the room visitor ready. The bigger issue, though, is that we’ve got a really busy few days ahead and even the most independent visitor would get in the way and require headspace that I just don’t have.

If my best friend came over with a black eye because her husband had beaten her up, I would convince her to stay and would be more than happy to put her up even with no notice. If aunty Gertrude had got it in her head that it would be fun to force visit me and stay for a few days I would have hated it.

Not at the moment. Both offspring back for summer from university and neither of them have accommodation over the summer it starts from September so there's two lots of STUFF everywhere.

Yes, open house but have to take everything as it is. Would only take me a couple of mins to sort spare room. Might also need to wash up depending on timing. My cooking is shocking but if they are desperate. It's unlikely this would happen but once SS asked me to have sons 11 year old friend (who had moved 5 hours away) as his mum was seriously ill and no other relatives. Stayed six weeks. Also other sons friend was regularly dropped off at our house by the police( in police car) as his Mum had MH issues. Neighbours must have wondered what was going on, but sometimes you just have to step up.

No way would I be fine with this. Even if we had a spare room, which we do not! Don’t people have jobs and existing plans?

I’d be totally mortified.

The house is a state with washing hanging everywhere due to the weather being crap. With another load currently on.

Im working all week so cant entertain a guest.

I have only the food I like in not what others would want (Ive no bread etc) and the place needs hoovered. I don’t have time to do that as I have plans tonight.

Id be most annoyed she didjt phone or text first. Even an hour of notice would have been better than nowt.

Those of you who think it’s fine and lovely — do you do it to others?! Because I’d feel like I was massively taking the piss, being unbelievably entitled. I could never just brazenly present at someone’s doorstep with no previous discussion.

Not a chance. You don't just turn up announced expecting to stay - even if there was some emergency (eg house flood or some other issue, car broken down nearby or something) then you'd still call ahead and check if it was ok. I don't even welcome unexpected day guests tbh, and despite lots of MNetters calling this odd, in the real world it actually isn't that odd to want a head's up if someone is planning to visit. My house is tidy enough, not overly fancy but clean and presentable, but I also value my private space - that's perfectly ok.

I work and don’t have a spare bed but if it’s a close friend in need then sure, my bed is big enough to share! There’s food, a hot shower and the cat will always want belly rubs

Nope I wouldn't your right but I like my home and would rather ppl came to me(control freak?)

I would hate it, but I could put DS 13 on the futon in his Gaming room and let whoever have his bedroom. My other " spare " bedroom is full of DS1 age 24, with broken leg.

When I was a lot younger, but then we all did it, all the time. Pre-mobiles and pre-internet, so you exchanged addresses, and offered your floor if someone was passing through Paris or wherever, and expected to be taken up on it, just as you would show up at someone else's house. In some cases we didn't even know the person, they were a friend of a friend, but we'd never met.

Now, no, but I have space if someone not very fussy did show up and want to stay, though we have builders in, and will have them for months to come, so everything is a bit primitive.

Hmmm I'm going on undecided 😅

I live on the seafront and have a lot of visitors, most invited and planned for. BUT, I have had people stay with me, either in emergency, or through through circumstance, and it's actually been fine.
I always have clean sheets and towels available, so even though I'm not 'prepped' and fully (mentally) prepared, it's actually been no problem at all. I think we build up 'hosting' far too much in our own minds, and most people just want to feel welcome and comfortable when they stay with you.

This is bonkers behaviour.

What is??

Yes there's no way I'd ever do it myself. I generally don't "ask" to stay anywhere anyway. I wait for an offer. Or like I visited a town abroad near to where we have other relatives and said it would be nice to see them for lunch. They then offered for us to stay the night so I then accepted. But I would never have presumed.

Fine with me, but I’m a social creature and I always have a couple of spare bedrooms available and ready.

In answer to the subsequent question, would I do it to others, no. Because I grew up in a house with antisocial parents who would have loathed that, so I would never presume people felt the same way as me.

I agree with this.

I could as my house is tidy and we have a sofa bed but I really don’t want anyone staying!!!

The house is perfectly fine for a random visitor. Would they be staying? No I’d tell the cheeky twat to do one.

I have a guest bedroom- and a leak in the roof right above the pillows 😠
the washing up bowl is in situ to catch the drips.
I wouldn’t want uninvited people expecting a bed here anyway

They could, because dh and the kids happen to be away and I've just washed all the bedsheets

In a one bedroom flat shared with my cat, where I WFH 4 days a week in the kitchen/living room?

They’d have to be either my sister or one of my closest friends, and unless I could get emergency time off they’d have to be out of the house or very quiet during the day.