Excellent insults that have fallen out of fashion / you don’t hear anymore…

[FusionChefGeoff]

Twerp
Berk

I want to teach my 10 and 13 year olds some ‘funny’ insults from back in the day - any others that need resurrecting??

Not firing on all eight cylinders.
Lift doesn't quite go to the top floor.
Couple of spanners short of a toolbox.
Spanner short of a full set.

And the top playground insult for 6-year-olds: 'Silly soppy sentimental disconnected drainpipe!'

He’s as much use as a chocolate fire guard
Minger
Doyle
Floozy
Fur coat no knickers

Moron

Brilliant!! 🤣

He's not wired up right / not playing with a full deck of cards / thick as a pile of blankets

Stop talking broken biscuits

Another one I love is from Ashes to Ashes. Gene telling Alex that she has the common sense of a grain weevil!! 🤣 🤣

Berkshire hunt = cunt. That’s Cockney rhyming slang for you!

He's a fart in a space suit/ fart in a colander

Oaf

Thick as mince

In similar vein....

The goats can go freely over the bridge while you're on holiday, can't they?

dicksplat

Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Toerag.

I use that insult all the time! 😆

Not sure if this counts, but my late nan was introduced to a gay male friend of mine shortly before she passed. By this point the dementia had removed any remaining filter she had.

He mentioned his husband and she gave him this big, beaming smile and said 'Oh, that's nice, you're one of those funny fellas! That's what we called you when I was young, funny fellas!'

My entire friendship group has adopted the term 'funny fellas'. It's caused some raised eyebrows when used in front of people who aren't in on the joke mind 😂

This is not very nice but a kid at school with acne got called pizza face and pepperoni.

If you were ginger you got called Duracell, rust bucket, Chris Evans and carrot crap.

Self-licking Lollipop

Dweeb 😂 remember that one

Shit for brains

He's so useless he couldn't even win a one legged arse kicking contest.

Square and L7

Meff (from the Merseyside half of my parentage)

Haddaway and shite (from the Tyneside half of my parentage) - not so much an insult, as a dismissal, as in, "Get the fuck out of here", but still.

I heard a variation on this:
”I sometimes think of sticking him together, and making one long plank.”

Also dickwad, remembered these from primary school in the 80s!