Advised to get married whilst doing wills

[mustytrusty]

Went to a solicitor with DP today to arrange our wills. We have mortgage, two dc's and been together 23 years. Have been advised that for tax reasons we should think about getting married.

I have no desire to be married. Not to him or anyone else, and I never have wanted to be.

Does anyone know if there's a campaign to make the tax situation for long-term couples
mirror that of married couples?

Boggles my mind that in this day and age unmarried couples can be treated differently than married.

I had thought that marriage automatically invalidates a will. I think I’ve heard of purposely dating a will after the wedding date, but then would witnesses’ signatures, presumably dated, be valid?

You could indeed, but some people clearly feel more comfortable with a CP nonetheless. I don't think it would be logical for the basis of that decision to be religion, since we've had secular marriage in the UK for centuries now and the large majority of marriage ceremonies are non-religious. But people are allowed to make their own decisions.

Personally, I wouldn't want CP over marriage due to the risk of lesser international recognition. Equally, some people might prefer that.

But the main point to make is that attitudes like OPs are even dafter now that we have multiple ways for the state to legally formalise a relationship contract. I appreciate that there are reasons to object to the history or connotations of CP just as there are with marriage, but there does come a point when people can reasonably be told to choose their poison or do without, and we're more than there in 2025.

We 'did' a civil partnership a couple of years back for IHT and other tax reasons. Very simple ceremony - we said 2 words each, over in 10 mins. Would have been less but family wanted a few photos ! Cost us about £3-400 as we got partnered on a Friday lunch. You can do it much cheaper on a Monday morning

LOL. That is the WHOLE POINT of getting married! Do you really believe it's just a piece of paper and a nice party?

I suspect on this issue you’d struggle to get the requisite amount of people who agree with your point of view to generate political will to address your issue. Your perspective is pretty niche in this generation and there are a lot of evidence to suggest that the generation following on will over time be more conservative than our one. You have the option to get the CP or marriage in the meantime or just stick to your principles.

It does. Best to get married then do wills straight after

I'm still interested to know why having a piece of paper trumps having a joint mortgage and shared children though.

Because people who say, 'it's just a piece of paper' fail to acknowledge that no, it isn't - it's a legal document that gives protection and benefits to the parties who have signed it. Just like any other contract.

It's so you will be better off, legally and with security, why would you not want to do things the proper way? It's especially selfish to have children and leave them without the security of marriage. It's so morally wrong and not setting a good proper example to them.

We had a civil partnership for this reason. Go for it.

There was a campaign and they won! You have to log it legally as a civil partnership.

Otherwise can get hit with IHT bill if one of you dies.

The exception is where wills are made "in contemplation of marriage" ie after deciding to marry but before the ceremony. I suppose the wedding would need to be a fixed date at that point or the couple known to be publicly engaged in case the "contemplation" point was ever tested!

Or say in the will that you are doing the will in contemplation of your marriage. That makes it valid after marriage and answers the concern a poster had on a similar thread - she was worried about what would happen if she got hit by a bus leaving the reception. She didn’t want to risk her children ending up with nothing however remote the possibility.

The Labour party made noises in their pre General Election manifesto about rights for cohabiting partners. There has been no mention of it since.

Hardly surprising. A lot of people would very much object - they choose to live together without being married and don't want the state forcibly making them married or forcing them to separate.

There's a whole thread on it here
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childfree-mumsnetters/5086207-labour-and-common-law-marriage-pledge

They have actually said that there will be a consultation on this later in the year:

https://www.lawgazette.co.uk/news/government-to-consult-on-cohabitation-reform/5122462.article

No dates announced so far though.

Bear in mind that if the spouse with the assets doesn’t leave sufficient inheritance to the spouse without, the surviving spouse can challenge the will under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975.

Anyone maintained by the deceased can also challenge but they can only get assets reasonable for their maintenance. A spouse is entitled to reasonable financial provision which the courts have generally interpreted as the amount they would get on divorce.

Leaving everything to the children only works if that’s fair (as determined by the courts) to the other spouse.

Edited to say: that doesn’t sound like it applies to @ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan if her DH has done the same but it is something to bear in mind as a general rule.

Marriage offers legal and tax advantages. Either you choose to do it or not. Up to you.

having a joint mortgage often gets brought up on here when those who don’t want to get married but want to be treated as if they are.

It’s like many think couples who buy together should be seen as a more committed couple than those who rent. Or if someone owns their house outright and someone moves in, is that not as committed as a couple who bought together.

Many parents are not in a relationship with the other parent of their child/ren. Many committed couples don’t have dcs.

There are two ways for the state to have confirmation you are happy to be in a legally binding contract with your partner, marriage or civil partnership.

Thank goodness you've arrived! What would we have done without someone from the 1650s turning up and reminding us how to behave.

Ok, I didn't know that marriage would invalidate a Will.
Does divorce or separation also invalidate a Will?
Do those laws apply in Scotland?

What would happen if Wills were made favouring each other? Then the couple married? Would things not automatically go to the other party anyway?

1. Divorce doesn’t revoke the will in E&W but any bequests to the ex spouse are treated as if the ex spouse died before the testator.
2. Separation doesn’t affect a will.
3. Marriage doesn’t revoke a will in Scotland but there are laws as to how much (and what percentage) of the estate a spouse and children get anyway. A will can’t override these laws.
4. In E&W, the whole estate does not automatically go to the spouse on intestacy. They get the first £322,000 then half the rest if there are children of the deceased. If there is a house in the South of England and a decent pension in the name of the deceased spouse, a big chunk of the estate could end up with the children and the surviving spouse could end up having to sell their home to pay out the children’s share.

It's already been solved. You enter into a Civil Partnership.
You are not married and you have all the financial and legal protections (and they are a LOT) that you would have if you were.
It's all very well saying you are in a "long term relationship" but HMRC (& others) will need proof. That's what a Civil Partnership gives.

Our wills were written when we were engaged and were buying a house, in contemplation of marriage.

Presumably if years went past and the marriage hadn’t happened, the Will might be challenged, but we had a date booked 😀

It is mad that you have to do this to avoid the inheritance tax, selling ones home etc (that is jointly owned) to pay tax if/when a partner passes away.

Why is it mad? If you want to avoid paying tax then this is a way you can do so. Its not difficult.

But as a lot of other people on this thread, you want the benefits of marriage without anything else.

Usually, but there is a caveat. You can write a will prior to a marriage that states it is in anticipation of the marriage. That will is then valid from the point at which you marry.

But as a lot of other people on this thread, you want the benefits of marriage without anything else.

Are you on a different thread? The near universal response to OP, other than the response you quoted, has been that marriage or a CP is the way to solve the issue.