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Original poster

Feel sad for my little boy

60 replies

Mamabear23679 · 17/07/2025 21:23

My son is about to leave primary - he leaves tomorrow .

He has had a little crush for a while and he decided to tell her. He’s a quiet , sweet boy and he was really nervous. They all seem to be having girlfriends and boyfriends in the class - way too young but it’s all innocent - he got on well with this young girl and they spoke a lot outside school . She said no.

Thos is absolutely fine! She then told everyone in the class - again, not an issue she’s just a little girl and they’re all so young.

The sad thing is , her and her friends have today wrote some really unkind things in his leavers book. Things like “ you’re so ugly “ , “ why did you think she would say yes “ , “ I would rather die than date you “ , saying things about his size , that he’s already conscious about , and horrible names .

What do I do about this ? He will never see them again, he doesn’t want me to say anything and said it’s just jokes , but the messages do not look like jokes to me. It’s his last day tomorrow so I haven’t spoke to the parents as I don’t want him dealing with that. I have messaged his class teacher though as they will be signing shirts tomorrow and I don’t want nasty messages. He can tear the pages from the book , but not his shirt.

I feel so sad for him

OP posts:

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 17/07/2025 21:26

That is really mean. I’m sure he’ll grow up to be a handsome boy and then they will be sorry.

pushthebuttonnn · 17/07/2025 21:31

That's absolutely awful and I'm so sad for your son. Kids can be so cruel. I hope in this case what goes around comes back around to teach them a lesson. I hope your son is OK. Hopefully there'll be nicer kids in his new school and his confidence will grow 🩵

MindfulSis · 17/07/2025 21:32

I feel for you, these children have acted so cruel. If I was in your shoes I would explain to your DS that at this age it's too young for relationships and focus on friendships and making memories by having fun with friends. He will look back and feel that they were never true feelings for this girl and I'm sure he will make light of it in the future.

Personally I think these children's parents should be made aware, I would be mortified if my DD was saying these things to other people. I would hope these parents would give their girls a good talking too.

Your DS sounds so sweet and I hope he makes great friends at his new school.
Take pride in you're a wonderful parent and try to explain to your DS that some children aren't kind or sweet like him and to not give these other girls a second thought.

I can't believe everyone seems to be in relationships at primary school, what utter nonsense!

JaneAustensCatDotty · 17/07/2025 21:33

Horrible mean girls. 😔

My sons always seemed to worry a lot less about this kind of stuff than I did. I wouldn’t dwell on it, plan a few distracting days out and move on quickly from it. Talk about the summer holidays and all the fun you’ll have.

I’m sorry they did this though, it’s horrible behaviour.

ELDV · 17/07/2025 21:33

That’s so, so horrible. I’m sorry for him and for you as I know we feel it just as strongly as they do. I’m a mum of three girls but sometimes I am not a fan at all of little girls. They can be so cruel. I would probably not be able to stop myself contacting those girls’ parents because I don’t think I could stop myself. Hopefully the teacher will see that they are suitably told chastised. After a week or so of the summer holidays hopefully your son and you can start to put it behind you and start looking forward to the new school.

ThymeandBasil · 17/07/2025 21:35

That is just horrible .
I wonder where they have learnt to be so nasty and cruel.
You have done the right thing raising it with the teacher.
I hope your son is OK and doesnt let their inexplicable nastiness affect him

hellosunshineminesagin · 17/07/2025 21:37

Personally I would take a photo of the messages and then send a polite message to the parents and say that I felt they ought to be aware of what their daughters have done. The girls need to be spoken to by their parents about how hurtful they have been, and kids will be kids and get it wrong sometimes but they have to learn from those mistakes. Doing nothing means another poor child may be bullied at their next school or even your son again

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/07/2025 21:39

That's so horrible I'm so sorry his last day is tainted by that. Will he see any of these girls at secondary school? I would be tempted to send a photo of the comments to the girls in question parents so that they can be told off (and hopefully will apologies too)

saffronwaldenef · 17/07/2025 21:49

I’m so sorry to hear this. You’ve done the right thing to tell the teacher and not the parents. Hopefully the teacher will tell them. It’s not your job to do this - I’ve seen parents causing so much upset with each other over the years. They seem to always listen to their child’s version of the story.

hugs to you and your son.

Gagaandgag · 17/07/2025 21:57

Awful! Your poor son!!! I think the school need to concentrate on their PSHE lessons!

Clockworkchocolateorange · 17/07/2025 22:03

I’d be upset too. Nasty little girls- says more about them than your son though.
She may well have been goaded on by her friends to be cruel- they were maybe jealous. But this doesn’t make it ok. Unfortunately this happens quite a lot when they start having boyfriends/girlfriends at a young age, they’re just not mature enough to handle it.
I hope the teacher has a word with these kids.

Sassybooklover · 17/07/2025 22:06

You need to bring this to the attention of the class teacher. Take the book and show the teacher. Regardless of it being the children's last day or not, the incident needs bringing to the attention of the school and parents. The girls need talking too.

Kibble19 · 17/07/2025 22:09

Little arseholes.

They'll go to high school and meet girls even bitchier than them who’ll call them ugly and make them feel 2 inches tall.

Good.

Butteredtoast55 · 17/07/2025 22:09

I'm so sorry this has happened to your lovely son. Children can be truly horrible and unkind and he doesn't deserve to be at the receiving end.

Is there any chance of speaking to someone at the school in the morning to see if there's a spare leavers book so he can throw the other away? As a Headteacher I would want to know this had happened and, last day or not, I'd be talking to the girls and making sure they apologised and understood how hurtful they've been. They do get a bit carried away when leaving is imminent and I suspect one or two of them at least will know they've gone too far.

Newmumburnout · 17/07/2025 22:11

Yes I agree it's not very nice. This is what my advice would be. This happens alot and most kids will experience unkindness from their peers and so your child is no different. Additionally your ds sounds so lucky having such an amazing mum. When put in to perspective some kids/mothers would love this to be their main cause for upset or concern. Teach him to be strong in himself and not need the validation from others. He was brave to do what he did and that is great, he has nothing or be ashamed of. Its the mean girls that should be embarrassed. He wont see them again so try and move on after having a chat! X

Usernamenotavailable19 · 17/07/2025 22:12

Some kids can be so cruel and nasty.

mismomary · 17/07/2025 22:20

hellosunshineminesagin · 17/07/2025 21:37

Absolutely agree with this. The girls need to understand how unacceptable and mean this behaviour is. Hope your brave boy has a great last day tomorrow.

Original poster

Mamabear23679 · 17/07/2025 22:23

Thank you everyone for your lovely words.

He seems fine about it , he’s a jokey lad with a really solid group of friends, a popular boy and him and his friends along with these girls are in a big group. So , I’m quite shocked . He’s never been bullied, he’s always spoke so highly of by his teachers and friends with everyone really. He spoke to me about this girl and she seems like such a sweetie from what I’ve seen, they spoke a lot just them 2 and I monitor his phone so I have seen the messages and they seem to get on well , a lot of the time they were on the phone and to be honest I thought she may have had a crush on him too- I’ve not really spoke about that with him as I didn’t really want to encourage ‘dating’ so young, I’ve just kind of monitored and smiled to myself. One of the girls who wrote something has also always came to his parties and they get on too ( I don’t know anything about the other girls ) .

He doesn’t seem bothered , and says it’s joking around but reading the messages they are really unkind. I worry that deep down it has upset him and he’s just putting on a brave face.

He won’t see them again , he’s going to a different school to all his friends ( another reason I’m feeling protective of him because it’s a hard time I know that ) but they are all on a group chat.

I am in a parent group chat and I know of 2 of the mothers , they are lovely and I really think they would be disappointed and would say something to the girls and I don’t want him to go in tomorrow and have them bringing up the fact I have gone to the parents if it actually is just joking around.

I think I will message the parents tomorrow after school just so they are aware though .

OP posts:

cryingandshaking · 17/07/2025 22:24

Take a photo of the comments & post on the parents WhatsApp group, if there is one. Or speak to the teacher first thing, to make sure there isn’t a repeat with the shirts.

Original poster

Mamabear23679 · 17/07/2025 22:25

I have, however , just seen a WhatsApp status from my son ( who is now in bed ) and he has posted some kind of meme that says “ when you realise she isn’t all that “ and then another status saying “ yes that was about YOU “ . Not very comfortable with that . I feel it’s a tit for tat. Will be having a chat with him in the morning .

OP posts:

Original poster

Mamabear23679 · 17/07/2025 22:25

cryingandshaking · 17/07/2025 22:24

Take a photo of the comments & post on the parents WhatsApp group, if there is one. Or speak to the teacher first thing, to make sure there isn’t a repeat with the shirts.

I have sent them to the teacher and asked her to bear it in mind and have some kind of discussion about what is acceptable to write on shirts

OP posts:

cryingandshaking · 17/07/2025 22:26

Sorry - cross post. It’s not joking around though, and they are old enough to know this. If they don’t know, it’s time to learn

Bagseverywhere · 17/07/2025 22:30

I think that's a good response from your ds tbh. He's a resilient little lad.

DustlandFairytaleBeginning · 17/07/2025 22:31

you should get some fun stickers to cover up the mean comments and leave the kind ones.

Original poster

Mamabear23679 · 17/07/2025 22:31

Bagseverywhere · 17/07/2025 22:30

I think that's a good response from your ds tbh. He's a resilient little lad.

Deep down I see why he did it , but I think by saying that he’s criticising her in some way and she is still just a child … two wrongs don’t make a right and all that.

Also , don’t want this to cause him to have a vendetta against girls or think it’s ok to criticise looks because they don’t like him back

OP posts:

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