School faux pas

[TerrysOrangesAreNotJustForChristmas]

I'm mortified and I need help coming off the ledge as I have to take my dd into school today.

I've been taking a classmate of my dd home a couple of days a week as a favour as the mum has just had a baby and doesn't drive.

Yesterday, I collected the boy as usual and was just loading him and my dc in the car when the dad comes running up to the car. No one mentioned I didn't need to take him home but my husband says I should have checked every day to see if he still needed a lift. I just feel really embarrassed thinking everyone who saw thinks I'm a child kidnapper or something and I have another 10 years left at this school!

Was it so bad? Is it not on them to tell me they didn't need me to pick him up or am I just really irresponsible?

Nothing to worry about. You were doing them a favour. They should have informed you of the change. Calm down it’s end of term and no one will give a shit.

i agree nobody gives a hoot about it and you were doing them a favour not kidnapping children.

Thank you, I'm just a chronic over-thinker and once dh said it was my fault for not checking I couldn't stop spiralling. I can't wait until Friday!

That’s no big deal. It happens all the time. Don’t worry about it.

Not your fault.
Not at all.

This isn’t a big deal, you were doing them a favour but they didn’t need you. Have you checked if they need you today?

His mum will understand, and both dads need to give their heads a wobble.

This is a just a non event. ‘Oh my bad, thought I was taking him today. Have a good evening.’ And on with their lives everyone goes

You did nothing wrong. I can see why you're upset because I used to to overthink things too, but it's a non issue. It was on the child's parents to tell you.

This is madness, why would anyone think you are kidnapping him when you've collected him on the other days? These little mix ups happen all the time at school gates, no one bats an eyelid. You seem very paranoid OP!

Nobody thinks you were kidnapping him. Don't be silly. The only ones who should be embarrassed are the child's parents who didn't communicate between themselves what the arrangement was and which of them was responsible for updating you.

What exactly did the child’s dad do wrong? He literally just collected his own child from school.

Tbh if dad has not been doing school runs and you have been filling in he would be the one getting 'sideeyes' for being late and not contacting you to say he was on his way🤷‍♀️

I work in a preschool, and as we have to hand over the children we are quite involved at collection times. At least once a week something like this happens. Childminder turns up when child is out sick, childminder and granny arrive together, both parents arrive separately, occasionally no one arrives for a child and we have to ring. It's so common and understandable.

FFS, it was the parents who should have told you no need to bother! Absolutely no need for you to fret about it.
If I continued to give lifts, I’d be saying very firmly, ‘It’s up to you to let me know in advance if you don’t need the lift!’

But I’d more likely stop the favour now.

Your husband is wrong. You were already doing these parents a favour, it's up to them to tell you when they don't need it any more.

You're way overthinking a simple communication mixup

Why would anyone think you're kidnapping a child, that's so not going to be anyone's take on this

This is nothing to be ‘mortified’ about at all!

No one would remotely think anything bad was happening.

And an ordinary kind of misunderstanding. Your DH is not helping by guilt tripping you!

They have new baby frazzlement.

Just message and say ‘Let me know which days you’d like me to collect xxx”

Weve had two parents arrive to pick up child from our club. A child go home with their friend and a parent turn up. Both divorced patents turn up (that was a fun one).
And no-one turn up reasonably often

It's all on them.

It would have taken them less than a minute to tell you the dad would pick up the child. So you didn't waste your time.

It shows that how little they value your help if they can't even send you a text to say thanks for your help but they don't need it today.

And I would reconsider my help in future. Maybe ask them to text you in the am of any mornings they need the child picking up.

So it's down to them to do some legwork rather than just expecting you to read their minds.

How big an issue was this really? The dad came running over because he’d come to pick up his child; you just had to say “Sorry, Jenny hadn’t told me you were coming, so I’d assumed the arrangements were the same as usual”. He reminds his wife to let you know next time.

The End.

I used to pick up two children from preschool. One family were really good and would tell me in advance if I was needed (99% yes), with the other family it was far more irregular and I was rarely told. Sometimes I’d know as they’d write it on the drop-off / pick-up sheet but often they wouldn’t. A couple of times dad would track me down and retrieve his son. It didn’t matter. He knew who had taken him and where I was heading. Please don’t stress yourself.

Your husband is being ridiculous. Honestly OP don’t give it a second thought. As others have said this stuff happens all the time. I’m sure the only thing the other family are thinking is how kind and helpful you have been.

Don't worry, it's possible that the other DC's parents will also have had to scramble a bit to sort out going to school for the pick-up if the routine has not been quite the same as with just 1 child. I am sure the mum has been really thankful for your help and would not have thought it was meant with ill intent.