Mumsnet in poetry

[divineinspirations]

I wondered if anyone would care to join me in expressing their favourite mumsnet posts in verse.

I’ll start:

My mother in law couldn’t settle
Without tea from her personal kettle
It wasn’t the water,
Or hate for her daughter
She just liked the taste of the metal.

Wow love that!

let me have a go!

Wide awake, I cannot sleep,
Tossing, turning — no chance to count sheep.
Thirty-one weeks + and my mind is racing,
Backache and heartburn — the foes I’m facing!

I’n surfing Mumsnet out of sheer desperation,
Hoping to unwind, like I’m on vacation.
Wish me goodnight and I’ll bid you farewell,
Pray I find comfort and break this sleep spell!

My partner’s a terrible meanie
He was cross that I wore my bikini
He is just such a jerk
It was bonding for work
And it carves ‘twixt my buttocks so cleanly.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5370273-partner-got-really-funny-about-swimwear-i-wore-to-work-away-day?page=1