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Original poster

I had to dump basket mid-shop because of toddler

72 replies

Slightlysimi · 14/07/2025 19:42

Took 2.5 year old to shop after nursery to grab dinner and small top up shop. From the minute we walked in he was screaming he wanted a treat, wanted this, wanted that, just screaming the whole way around.
In the end I couldn’t take anymore and dumped my basket on the floor, picked him up and walked out, trying not to cry.

I was so embarrassed. It was busy in there with lots of other parents with nicely behaved children. I could feel people watching me try and control a screaming and aggressive toddler, then extra shame walking through the town to get home with him screaming “I want my daddy” with big chunky tears and massive snot (I had no tissues).

I’m also embarrassed that I go there regularly and worry the staff will recognise me as the woman who dumped a half full basket on the floor and walked out.

Incidents like this are becoming more common with him and I just want to know if I did the right thing.

It’s not practical or possible to do online only shopping so please don’t suggest that, I just want to hear what others have done in this sort of situation.

OP posts:

YesHonestly · 14/07/2025 19:43

You did the right thing.

The shop staff will have seen it before.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 14/07/2025 19:45

Obviously not ideal but shopping with toddlers is so difficult! I genuinely consider it a luxury if I get to go food shopping on my own with no one demanding anything or grabbing at the stuff in the trolley.

cloudyblueglass · 14/07/2025 19:46

I’d ignore it and carry on shopping.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Behaviour & development Families

Ohthatsabitshit · 14/07/2025 19:48

Better to take it to customer services or a checkout, and say you are going to have to go home and apologise for not being able to put their stock back. Obviously people do have to just go home sometimes. Many many people watching would have been feeling deeply sympathetic.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 14/07/2025 19:48

We've all been there.
No one was judging you. If they were fuck em. But I can guarantee that any parents were thinking "thank god its not mine for a change" or at least a sympathetic thought.
Deep breath, tomorrow is a new day!

Blackoutbeans · 14/07/2025 19:49

In my opinion you have done the right thing.

My little one used to throw the worst tantrums in the supermarket at a similar age, throwing themselves on the floor screaming and shouting. I used to tell them that if that behaviour doesn't stop then we will have to leave. When it didn't stop, the toddler was picked up, carried out of the shop and shopping sadly abandoned. A couple of times and then they've learnt that that behaviour won't get them anything.

Solidarity though, it is hard, but it too shall pass. You just need nerves of steel and consistency in how you respond to the tantrums.

Caterina99 · 14/07/2025 19:51

Most people with kids have had some kind of similar experience at least once and are probably feeling sympathetic and grateful that’s it’s not their problem.

I’d probably have gritted my teeth and just got what I needed quickly/bribed toddler with something. But sometimes nothing works and you just need to get out!

Danikm151 · 14/07/2025 19:51

I used to carry my son round ticked under 1 arm.
the tantrums he’s had in shops are amazing but I stood firm.

it’s very hard. Just apologise to a member of staff the next time you go in- they probably won’t even remember.

IsThisLifeNow · 14/07/2025 19:51

I've done this, I didn't feel proud but you did the right thing. It's so hard though

NC28 · 14/07/2025 19:52

I remember those days well. It’s so hard, isn’t it? I tried everything - going only after their nap, going first thing in the morning, after a meal…made no difference!

They're hard work at that stage and all the sounds, lights, people in a supermarket can easily tigger the little tyrants.

Draw a line under it, it’s a non-event (but I know it feels very much like an event when it’s happening to you). Anyone in that shop judging you is a self-righteous halfwit with no kids of their own or a very selective memory about how their kids acted at 2.5 years!

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 14/07/2025 19:53

Aw, don’t feel bad or embarrassed, it happens to most parents at some point.

I used to strap them in with reins to the trolley seat, get round as quickly as possible, keep to the middle of the aisle to stop them grabbing stuff, grab a piece of free fruit, and ignore tantrums.

DC are 6 and 10 now. I avoid taking them shopping where possible, especially the 6 year old.

Bitzee · 14/07/2025 19:53

If you’re going to insist on shopping in person then you need to take the buggy so you always have the option to strap them in and ignore the protests. Dumping the shopping can be very wasteful unfortunately as anything from the fridge will have to get binned as it’s been out of the cold chain. Also, not having actually managed to buy your dinner isn’t ideal!

Comedycook · 14/07/2025 19:54

My DD used to love lying on a shop floor screaming... sometimes I just stood there and ignored until she got bored. Yes a lot of people stared. What I would say is anytime they are behaving well or let's just say not awfully, praise, praise praise! Really ott...wow you're walking so nicely round this shop today, now we have time for an extra bedtime story when we get home.

IReallyLoveItHere · 14/07/2025 19:55

Everyone is thankful it was you not them.

You did the right thing although if you need to shop you need to shop. I'd rather see a mother not give in and listen to temporary screaming than her give in to demands to spare my ears.

Spha · 14/07/2025 19:56

They will have seen it 100s of times. Just forget it.

lighteningthequeen · 14/07/2025 19:58

I’ve been there OP. A lot of us have. You did the right thing, and tomorrow is a new day

Gc1992 · 14/07/2025 19:58

Oh this happens to me all the time. I try not go shopping with my 3 year old alone unless he is restrained in a trolley and has a snack to keep him happy while I do the worlds quickest shop! 🤣 When he does have tantrums I find some people glare but most offer a sympathetic smile!

reversegear · 14/07/2025 19:59

You did the right thing, he didn’t get a treat and you removed him from the situation.

Hodgemollar · 14/07/2025 20:04

Do you regularly buy things to pacify him? I’ve a 3 year old, take her to the shop all the time for the food shop, browsing etc but if I’m there for the food shop I’m not buying kid treats for then and there. I’ve also never done the food shop by bragging with chocolate etc so it’s not something they ask for or demand while shopping.
I think clamp down on the treats for a while to deal with the constant demanding but you’re not wrong for standing your ground and parenting.
The shop won’t care that you left your basket, it’s mildly annoying.
I once left a full trolley because said 3 year old randomly threw up in the shop!

I’ve carried 2 crying toddlers home at once before, it is what it is. Honestly the only people who judge in that situation are people with no kids or the occasional old person who has lost sense of reality. Most people you pass know exactly what it’s like and feel nothing but understanding and sympathy.

Ikiduknot · 14/07/2025 20:06

Not quite the same but I had to abandon a WHOLE trolley full of groceries once. My head was all over the place that day and I suddenly realised it was school pick up time! I was surprised by the staff member who smiled and said no problem, take care. Went back the next day, started again, and have done my shopping there for years now. My only suggestion would be could you try to do mini shops (as testers). You could keep it brief but explain how good behaviour means that “if you are quiet and helpful, we can have food for dinner/breakfast/whatever” and don’t push your luck if he’s on his best behaviour, just build up gradually if you can. Another thought, Maybe give him a mini picture shopping list (with words under each item) and a pencil attached so he can tick off as you go along. “What’s next on your list?” Talk all the way, where do you think the carrots might be as you whizz along, down here? Might help. Good luck.

BuntyBeaufort · 14/07/2025 20:11

I’ve had to do this too, more than once. We pretty much all have, so don’t worry.
You are being unreasonable though in not always having plenty of tissues about your person when in charge of a toddler:)

LittlleMy · 14/07/2025 20:12

reversegear · 14/07/2025 19:59

You did the right thing, he didn’t get a treat and you removed him from the situation.

Totally agree. Whisking the child out every time with zero reward they do this soon cements that nothing is gained with tantrums.

happygoluckykindagal · 14/07/2025 20:18

OP if I had seen you today I would have told you your doing amazing and given you a big smile. Sometimes we can carry on and let them scream and sometimes we have to just dump that damn basket. Well done

CaptainMyCaptain · 14/07/2025 20:22

I once pushed my daughter in her push chair all the way home from nursery screaming because I wouldn't take her in the sweet shop like her friend's mum had done. She never did it again but it was a very long walk home.

Original poster

Slightlysimi · 14/07/2025 20:48

Thank you all, you’ve really helped me feel a bit better. It sounds stupid but this really upset me today.

I do tend to lay it on with praise when he’s doing well and initially he was responding a little to my instructions on what would or would not happen but then he just lost it beyond a point I knew he couldn’t return from.

I actually did have pushchair but always leave it by the door (out of the way) because I find it’s usually more successful to let him help me than try and keep him restrained. I take it in case his little legs get tired out on the walk back home which is all up hill. Today a hill that I practically ran up after I’d stuffed him in it once we were a few metres up the road.

thanks for reassuring me I did the right thing. Hopefully next time I’ll be less rattled and remember at least he will be learning it doesn’t work well for him.

OP posts:

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