I had to dump basket mid-shop because of toddler

[Slightlysimi]

Took 2.5 year old to shop after nursery to grab dinner and small top up shop. From the minute we walked in he was screaming he wanted a treat, wanted this, wanted that, just screaming the whole way around.
In the end I couldn’t take anymore and dumped my basket on the floor, picked him up and walked out, trying not to cry.

I was so embarrassed. It was busy in there with lots of other parents with nicely behaved children. I could feel people watching me try and control a screaming and aggressive toddler, then extra shame walking through the town to get home with him screaming “I want my daddy” with big chunky tears and massive snot (I had no tissues).

I’m also embarrassed that I go there regularly and worry the staff will recognise me as the woman who dumped a half full basket on the floor and walked out.

Incidents like this are becoming more common with him and I just want to know if I did the right thing.

It’s not practical or possible to do online only shopping so please don’t suggest that, I just want to hear what others have done in this sort of situation.

True. But the fact she chose to take her tired toddler from nursery strait to shopping means your tips won’t occur to her either…

@Emmafuller79
Totally disagree.

Being a gentle parent would mean giving in and getting them the treat.

How bothersome is it to you really? You don't have to deal with it- just go to another aisle

Ah, I just saw your next comment. Seems like you're a troll / bully. No more engagement

Toddlers don’t act out unless there tired, hungry or poorly parented… you should of said sorry to the staff and cleared the mess up. Not stood there talking to your toddler about big feelings. My generation were spanked over the knee in supermarkets for a lot less then that!

I thought for a moment I wrote that! Your so right. 🏆

All toddlers have good days and bad days.

DD is 5 and well out of the toddler stage but some days she just decides she's not cooperating and makes everyone's life a misery.

You'd never believe it on the other days when she's an angelic little princess and everyone falls over themselves to tell me how charming she is.

Just because you've seen other parents with well behaved children doesn't mean those same children are always like that.

What are you on about? Am I not allowed to leave the house after he's spent half a day at nursery? I do actually have this thing called a job, so unfortunately shopping before collecting him wasn't an option. And surely leaving the shop, hence him not having any treat WAS setting a boundary.

By the way, it's "should have", not "of" and "what were you thinking?" Not "was".

Stick your rolling eye emoji up your arse.

Been there! The amount of times I walked out if the supermarket with a screaming toddler. It does get a lot better.

Yeah, pretty sure I recognise this user for their moronic statements. Must be bored and lonely.

I think the vast majority of us have, at some point, left a shop/park/other public place carrying a screaming toddler under one arm like a surfboard. Sometimes it's just too much for them, too bright and overstimulating, but also boring/frustrating because they can't have all the shiny things they can see on the shelves. Most of the people you passed will have had nothing but sympathy for you and/or relief that it wasn't their toddler that time!

Well I can tell you DON'T gentle parent.

Gentle parenting involves setting boundaries and holding them.

Prioritising your child's whims to the point you don't buy food in case they don't want to go to the supermarket is very permissive parenting.

Id have tried to give the basket to an employee but I would have left the store if my kid was making a racket. I’d do so not just because I know it would annoy people but but because it would really annoy me too.

I remember one of mine lying on the floor in a super market having a silent protest and me just stepping over him and carrying on with the shopping.

It's a rights of passage op. Sometimes my DC behaved beautifully and at other times accidentally tipped over shopping , kicked off about something it was so stressful.

However ,one has to remember it's an aladins cave to them with all the gorgeous foods they want . They only have this ogre mummy in the way stopping them 🤣

Next time you are in the store you could always apologise. They probably wont care but it might make you feel better.

Excellent response.

Not sure why @Emmafuller79 has dragged up this zombie thread from July but you’re not the brightest spark, are you, Emma?

I had this only once with my son! Once because I realised that he was hungry when I took him there so in the future, I either fed him before we went or left him home with his Dad.

As an aside - he struggled to pronounce L's when he was that age and in the middle of Sainsbury one day he pointed to the clock on the wall and in the loudest voice I ever heard from him told the whole store that there was a cock on the wall. Mortified!

You definitely did the right thing. My son tried that with me once. I said if he carried on with the i wants we would be going home. And I did. No treats for him that day

Aww Op we have all been there.

I remember nipping to buy a card with DD (was about 2 at the time) in card factory and her having a tantrum pulling the balloon displays apart and her begging me to buy one and screaming the place down.
The balloon displays were £20 so I walked out with DD flailing under my arm, people thought we were nuts.

Many people who are parents will have had a similar situation and won’t judge. Others might but fuck em. Shopping with kids is stressful.
We moved to online grocery shopping for a couple of years which was a godsend. You say you can’t do that but they grown out of this stage thankfully.

Sympathy, they are such pains in the arse in shops at that age. I used to always get a trolley and stick them in that even if only just getting a few things.

We have all been there don't worry.
We've all had to do shopping and not the perfect moments with toddlers. Who are tired and maybe hungry and just over the day.
But needs must and we have to do it.

I've had a few embarrassing moments with my DC. I have now learnt to just carry on. I lay the ground rules before we enter the shop. Explain the consequences for misbehaviour (even to my nearly 4 year old) but mainly for my 8 year old. Keep my cool and carry on. They go in the trolley and I leave them to scream and get the shopping over with.

I currently try to avoid shopping with my 4 year old as it always ends with the '1 want this' argument in the seasonal aisle or running away. DS8 is better although if hungry been known to throw a tantrum so I prepare and take a snack to keep him busy while I shop.

Edit to add the shop staff have seen it all before. Even worse probably. They wont particularly care bar having to put stuff back.