Everyone's died

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My lovely grandparents, my uncles, my beloved parents, my doggies. All gone I now have 2 people left in the world. My DS and DH and that's it. When I think of my childhood and all the family get togethers, it like a stab in the heart.

Getting old is so incredibly hard.

I feel like that at times as well. Thankfully I have strong friendships.

You have DS + DH, can you try to enlarge your world a bit with meet ups etc? Yes it's not quite the same as the past with large family gatherings! Does DH have much family left?

I have a good idea how you feel OP. My parents and my only sibling are all gone. Lime a previous poster, I am blessed with strong friendships, but sometimes I feel really sad too.

I am glad you still have family.

How are you generally? Are you well enough to try to expand your circle? You dont need to look for very close friends just a group you enjoy passing time with once or twice a week.

How about another dog? Maybe an older one from a rescue looking for a quiet loving home?

Have a think about what you miss - is it someone to talk to or who has the same interests or that will support you in harder times?

I was watching a TV show with a stereotypical Italian loud family around the table before and I felt sad that I would never have that kind of big family get together. Our family has always been small and luckily my parents are still with us, but I can see how it will be lonely in the future. As mentioned up thread, I guess you gotta keep busy and make connections but it's not the same

That's 2 more than I have

It’s so hard to get to this point. I’m ok with it most of the time, but when I see big families all together it can feel quite triggering. I feel quite triggered when people my age still have their parents alive, or have siblings. It can feel lonely sometimes. I always think I must play the hand I’ve been dealt, though. Just make the most of my circumstances, I guess.

It’s so hard. And I have no religious faith at all - nothing to cling on to. It almost makes me angry that all we’ve got to comfort us is a load of barbaric myths. Even as a child I found religion ridiculous. And churches give me the creeps. There’s nothing between me and the void, just pain and darkness and nothingness. Grandparents gone, father gone, aunt gone, and now my uncle is close to the end. It’s all such a meaningless horror. I’ve reached that point where life seems utterly absurd and insane. Nothing seems real. It just makes no sense. At times the whole thing feels more like a bizarre dream.

I'm so sorry you are feeling that way. I have no friends as my family was enough. 😔

I'm in the same position OP, I do find it hard because I miss them, although I know some people are worse off. I have a few close friends and I keep in touch with my cousins.

Did your uncles have children? Any long lost cousins you can contact and connect with? Or is there an old folks home you could perhaps contact and ask if they have a befriending scheme where people with few or no relatives can be visited by local people to make new connections with an older generation person. What about a new dog?

I understand this OP. I feel the same way. It's too painful to think of things like family Christmases from my childhood.
I have some cousins still alive I am in touch with but I'm an only child and have no family of my own so it does feel really weird sometimes. However, I do have friends I spend time with but nothing will ever be the same as those times (not just Christmas) when we all got together.

I know whst you mean all my Grandparents are long gone ,my mum died a few months ago my Dad is still with us thankfully ,I'm at that stage in life where the generation above me are dying off it's a sobering thought
My dh is the only one left from his childhood immediate family his ,mum ,Dad. And sister have all died.

Same here op except all quite early on in their 60s, it really leaves a hole. I try to not let my wander but I agree it's hard.

Long lost cousins will be like strangers.

Some of do have faith, you can have your opinion but no need to be so harsh.

I’m so sorry OP. It’s really hard, I wish I knew something more useful to say.

Op one thing I am going to do is join more community groups with people of all ages, would that be worth a try?

I understand, OP, I was the oldest living person in my family at the age of 24, everyone older than me had died by then - no aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents left, just me and the others of my generation born after me. It’s hard to be the keeper of family stuff and memories and the only one that remembers. Highly recommend getting another dog though if you miss your dogs?

Thinking back to those childhood holidays, family event and Christmasses is, I think, hard for people with family still around the too. Nostalgia is painful regardless of circumstance.

At a funeral a couple of years ago I met up with some distant cousins and that has been a great help to me. Just a little shared experience has made things feel more continuous somehow, like the best isn't all in the past.

I recently read Julian Clary's autobiography. He has the same feeling about lost loved ones, including dogs. He says he looks up at the sky to a parting in the clouds and sees those he's loved and lost looking down at him smiling, waving and cheering him on. As time has gone by the hole in the clouds has had to get bigger as more people and beloved pets joined them.

I found that strangely comforting and now when I look up I see it too.

You have your DH - be glad of that - I do not.

Getting older is full of losses. We have to come to terms with that - it is simply the way of the world. It is horrible, but not within our power to change.

You can create an alternative to a "blood" family, a family you collect essentially, neither H or I have any siblings left and we are just in our 50s, so it's not like they were pensionable age, and only one grandparent between us.
We had to move from our family areas, wanted to as well, there is very little there in way of "modern" jobs. So we had to move. Many do.

So we have a collected family where we are. There are many like us, away or have lost blood family we have found each other. A newish family moved into the road, european so a plane journey from their homeland, with a very young family (we have teens now so very different) yet it works, ours babysit, they have introduced knowledge and experience of games to our teens we don't have or want, they come for Christmas, we check each other's houses when on holiday. There are grown family bonds.

Our teens have people over all the time, one family now sends H father's day presents!

The family you miss wouldn't want you to use your one precious life dwelling on their loss.

It’s not a competition.

I still have a substantial number of close family and extended connections, but the loss of most of my elders over the last twenty years has been a shock. The older generation, with all its strengths and weaknesses has mostly gone...to be replaced by what I see when I look in the mirror. How can I be one of my family's matriarchs when I feel barely able to run my own life? It's a frightening and lonely feeling, but I remind myself that losing our elders is a common milestone. It protects them from the cosmic affront of losing us, something that no elder should have to go through.

I can only suggest that you build on what you have with your loved ones, related and otherwise and yes, consider offering a home to another dog or two. Speaking as someone on Team Cat, the new one doesn't replace the one that was lost. They simply make a space in your life that's unique to them. How they do this without displacing the ones who went before is a mystery, but they do it. Our four legged friends are remarkable.

The family you miss wouldn't want you to use your one precious life dwelling on their loss.

This is so true and so inspiring. Thank you @frozendaisy .

It’s scary and sad isn’t it? But I try to comfort myself by thinking it’s the natural order of the world and we are all making way for new people to experience life and hopefully have the friendships and families we have enjoyed. Sounds saccharine I know but it works for me. And then I go have that biscuit or whatever cos sod it - life is too short!