Partner of 5 years, living together, 1 child together, 2 from previous relationship.
No shared money, both have separate banks, savings and pay their own bills.
They take turns buying groceries to make it even so 2 weeks each per month.
One partner will go all out and ensure there is enough food for the week, including snacks and household items despite low income.
Other partner buys the bare minimum and never enough for the week so other partner has to do a top up shop after 3 days, despite their high earnings Spends half the cost other partner spends. They buy treats for themselves but no one else in the household. Even meals will be food they like even if no one else does.
Occasionally whilst struggling financially with certain bills, first partner will not be able to do a decent shop and they all survive on basics until the following week, meaning not every one gets fed well enough and they have to borrow money from family for meals, while other partner doesn’t even question it and buys nice food at work for lunch.
Would you consider this controlling/abusive in anyway that one partner doesn’t care about their family being hungry, whilst happily eating all the snacks when it isn’t their grocery week?