When you have guests do you ...

[Thaawtsom]

... expect your teenagers to move out of their bedrooms? I have a uni friend and his partner coming. These are my guests and the kids have never met them. They are coming from overseas and are coming to this part of the world to see us, another friend, and then move on somewhere nearby to see a third friend. To accommodate them I would have to move one of my teenagers out of their bedroom. I have three teenagers so whoever gets moved will probably see this as "unfair." Is it fair to ask my teenagers to move out of their rooms for someone they've not met before? They do move and have moved for guests, especially at Christmas, but it's normally for big gatherings of friends or family and it's people they also know and want to see. Thoughts?

Yes I would expect any of my teens to do this for a couple of nights (and only very occasionally). They all have queen size beds and that was part of the discussion when we bought them - we would not have a spare bedroom but that sometimes we would need to accommodate visitors.
DC3 moved in with DC2 for a month at one stage when the grandparents came to stay so the next time was DC1s turn!
But I do not say yes to all visitors, if there are any exams or other things going on I just say sorry not this time.

IMO You can offer your own room but not others.. you can ask your children if they'd like to but they should have the right to refuse, especially when they don't know them.

Your friends should not feel entitled to stay with you too.

No way. I would not expect my teens to vacate their rooms.

No. If I didn’t have a guest room, I would never invite guests to stay. If I were a guest, and learned I had turned a child out of his room, I would be off to the Premier Inn as fast as my legs could carry me.

I regularly give up my room for guests as it is nicer than the spare room which I have not got around to sorting out yet.

I wouldn’t invite people to stay unless I had a spare bedroom

No. As a teenager I would’ve hated being turfed out of my bedroom and having someone else sleep in there…and being with all my “stuff”! No way. Don’t offer people to stay if there’s no room for them.

@AuntieAunt Bit cheeky for you to invite guests and then not put them up.

Read the OP's replies!

She invited her friend. It was only AFTER the conversation, that the 'friend' said he would also be bringing his partner along too. I'd call HIM the cheeky one, not the OP!!!

OP already said she has the box room with a single bed only and no room on the floor for a blow up bed.

I have my sister staying at the moment. I’ve put her in my daughter’s room and my daughter is sharing with me. But we are all adults so there wasn’t a problem.

To be fair - 2 can sleep in a single

No. I wouldn’t give up my room for anyone so I wouldn’t expect my children to either. Even when my oldest is at uni, I wouldn’t let someone use his room as it is his private space. We do have spare rooms which very close friends sometimes stay in, but generally I find it better for people to use a hotel. We prefer to stay in a hotel when visiting others.

No. Little kids maybe but not teenagers. Get an airbed in the living room?

My DS knows he has to move for guests - perk of getting the en suite the rest of the time, but during exam season I did refuse overnight visitors to minimise disruption.

We let our oldest daughter have the largest bedroom on the understanding that the infrequent times we had overnight guests she’d move out into a room with her sister temporarily.

I assume you are referring to 2 children, not grown adults! 😂

Do visitors/guests never feel embarrassed at staying at someone's house and putting the entire household out? I'm talking acquaintances, not family. Maybe they feel because they are on hols that everyone will be delighted to see them and join in THEIR fun or something. I hate that.

I'd be so annoyed with these guests. Did they even ask if it was OK and do you have time/room to have them? The presumption and entitlement is unreal. Let them go to hell IMO.

However, maybe they did ask and OP - like many kind and welcoming people- said yes. But either way I'd not have them, and explain this to them amicably and politely. If they are OK people they'll understand, if they throw a strop, you know never to see them again, but still bar them from your house!

No I wouldn't do that. Either another room or airbnb

They are completely chill and staying somewhere near us! All good.

I realised after I posted that my sense of conundrum was less about these particular guests (who are utterly chilled out and very happy to AirBnB instead) and more about what other members of my (birth) family would think of my not upending the entire household to accommodate guests. To be fair, my mother also thinks its ridiculous I have the box room, but it works for our household (normally!).

@anyzee Do visitors/guests never feel embarrassed at staying at someone's house and putting the entire household out?

YES! Years ago, in my mid 20's, my now DH and I were backpacking abroad. He had a cousin there. He'd only met her twice and this was pre-mobiles, emails etc. Unknown to him, she was now a single mum in a tiny flat. She welcomed us and gave us her own bedroom, and slept in the single bed with her daughter!

I was so grateful for the hospitality, but incredibly embarrassed and horrified at the same time.