When you have guests do you ...

[Thaawtsom]

... expect your teenagers to move out of their bedrooms? I have a uni friend and his partner coming. These are my guests and the kids have never met them. They are coming from overseas and are coming to this part of the world to see us, another friend, and then move on somewhere nearby to see a third friend. To accommodate them I would have to move one of my teenagers out of their bedroom. I have three teenagers so whoever gets moved will probably see this as "unfair." Is it fair to ask my teenagers to move out of their rooms for someone they've not met before? They do move and have moved for guests, especially at Christmas, but it's normally for big gatherings of friends or family and it's people they also know and want to see. Thoughts?

What’s wrong with offering your guests your bedroom?

How long is it for? A couple of nights, well you could ask!
DH and I have given up our bedroom before for his DPs, rather than move one of the dch.

Absolutely not.

I’d choose an incentive and offer it to all 3

whoever agreed to gives up their room first gets the reward

No, absolutely not!
That's really unfair to expect a stranger to sleep in their bed.
Why can't you give up your room?! It's your friend.

All of this! Leave them their bedrooms to retreat to.

I have a single room with a single bed (I have the smallest room in the house as I also have an office) and when I invited I did not know the friend was bringing his partner.

Am minded to say sorry, we don't have the room for both of you; but was just wondering if I were unreasonable. We categorically do have the room but I know as a child / young person I would have resented having to give up my own room. I think I will ask if any of them mind (so far I haven't even asked cos I though that he would be sleeping in my room and I would bunk on DD's floor, but that won't work given the partner); if they all say they mind I will suggest a hotel to my friend. Thank you for feedback!

Can you put in a matress in your room ? Tell them beforehand so that they know (and maybe decide to book an airbnb)

No I have a box room LOL! Can only get another mattress in if I take the door off, which I think is a step too far.😂

No. I friend let me stay in her sons room once but I’ve known him since he was in the womb and he stayed at his GFs.
I do have a spare room where guests can stay. But if I didn’t then it’s local hotel. You are under no obligation to house people just because they are friends. Fortunately my friends are on the same wavelength and will book a hotel if no room spare.

Then in that case I would just say sorry I didn’t realise there would be 2 I don’t have the room and maybe offer a suggestion of a local hotel or something

When I was about 10 my parents bought me a double bed and I was over the moon until I realised that I was to give up my room to visitors. I hated it, when my gran came to stay for about 3 weeks I had to sleep on the sofa.

it was a nightmare, no access to my stuff including school uniform, deodorant, hair brush etc then getting bollocked by mum for my things being left on the dining room table, I had nowhere else to leave them.

that being said you couldn’t pay me enough to sleep in DDs filthy hell hole of a room.

Three adult sons and believe me nobody would have wanted their teenage bedrooms😱
Why not explain to your friend that you were going to give them your single room but that wont work if partner coming and see what solution they come up with, if they say they'll bring an airbed and sleep downstairs fair enough but they may realise an hotel is preferable.

I loathe having house guests with every fibre of my being (not antisocial, I love a full table for dinner, people coming over for coffee and drinks, I just must have peace at 7am when I want to drink tea in my dressing gown and shared showers make me feel ill) which makes me biased, but I wouldn’t be booting anyone out of their room for someone who could just get a Premier Inn.

Would only do it to teenagers in cases where the guest is too fragile emotionally or practically to make a hotel viable (delicate elderly relative, friend in an unexpected crisis etc) and then then, max 3 nights.

That said we do double up our (young primary school aged) DC with our friend’s DC when they stay but they LOVE this and we do it so we can sit up and drink wine with our friends after all the DC are in bed. Children are too small for evening socialising to work unless they can all go to bed.

I will and have paid for a local hotel myself to avoid houseguests.

I would hate having people to stay or to stay in other people's houses so do neither

Yea we give up ours and decamp to the sofa, makes more sense as well when it’s our friends as we’re most likely to all stay up chatting in living room while kids retreat to bedrooms after being social at dinner

Yes , all the time. It’s your house and it’s more than ok for them to bunk in together for a few nights.

Absolutely not their room is their personal space and sharing it or letting someone else sleep there should be their decision. I wouldn’t even ask and give up my room instead or tell them to get a hotel.

No way!! We give up our bed and we sleep downstairs. Otherwise they can stay in a travel lodge.

God, OP, I feel for you having such a small room. Could the box room be your office instead?

In any case I'd refuse the visit. You just don't have the space to be hosting.

It’s still their home! Me and my SIL joke that it’s the DC’s houses, we’re just living in them and it’s so true. The kids comfort is the priority over mine or my guests.

I'd book them a premier inn. Better for everyone.

No. Visitors stay at hotels. Bedrooms in our house are for the people living here. I never stay at other people's houses either, I would much rather be in a hotel.

If one of the kids has to move to accommodate guests then you don’t actually have the room! No way would I expect one of the kids to have to sleep elsewhere and give up their personal space for my guests. If they can’t sleep in the living room, dining room, or somewhere else, then a local hotel or bnb sounds a fairer idea.