The Gods Have Shone Upon Me

[SardinesOnGingerbread]

Having felt that life has been going too smoothly of late, and the summer sunshine making me feel like taking life by the horns, I decided it was time to try buying some new jeans.

Important context: I am 5'2. I am a woman. I have had three children. I am perimenopausal.

Previous shopping attempts have taught me that jean shopping must be undertaken in multiple stages. The initial walk round and trying on of the first dozen or so pairs. The sad acceptance that I look upholstered. The second trip. Pairs 12-30ish. Worse. Catching sight of my dappled arse cheeks in the changing room lighting designed by some fucker that hates women. Mild depression. Trip three. Grief stages of bargaining and depression. Gin. Sticking forks into my eyeballs. Usually by about pair 50 - and please do not imagine this is exaggerated because, as sure as eggs is eggs, around 50 is my average try on for new jeans - I find something that doesn't make me want to cry. I fork out the goods, and then pay about £15 more to have someone lop off about two feet off the length so I can wear them in public.

But today, my friends, today God herself has blessed me and shone her countenance upon me. First shop, first pair. I shit you not.

Having heard some slightly optimistic tales of Levis, I polished my credit card and headed in on my lunch hour. I was leapt on by a gorgeous looking twenty something as soon as my fingers touched fabric. I usually hate this, but resigned to my fate told Ms Gorgeous what I wanted.

She immediately handed me a pair straight away and told me she was getting the same pair two inches shorter for me. I waited for the runty legged version (this isn't my first rodeo) and tried them on first.

Well fuck me sideways with a banjo, they fit, they were comfortable, I looked not only acceptable but actually rather nice.

So in the interest of karmic balance for all the whining I do, here is my glorious tale of Levis and the servant of God who helped me today.

Disclaimer: I do not work for Levis. But if they are looking for a chonky middle aged influencer with three followers on the Tricky Tok to shower with their product, well, I'll struggle on through.

You make a very fair point. Here was I feeling all guilty for taking up divine attention from world wars and famines, but I can quite see that even God needs a win now and then.

I have ordered some based off your most excellent recommendation OP.

Great to read. Several years back I had a pal who had spent months in rural France. On her return I admired her beautifully fitting jeans.

She told me that she’d been to a little tiny clothes shop in the back of beyond where she’d asked the aged crone assistant in apologetic French if they had any trousers that would fit her. She claims the crone made her turn round, then grasped my pal’s buttocks muttering all the while. The perfect jeans were then produced from a dusty rail.

I would never have believed her if it were not for the fact that my cousin had a similar experience whilst bra shopping in the Ardeche. 😁

It’s a shame they are so pricey. Not feasible for most people. New look for me! £120 for one pair of jeans likely made in a sweatshop is not it.

I love this thread 😍

Love Levis. There are only thing that fit my curves. However I find that they rub through at the inner thigh far quicker then anything else.

Im not buying any more until I’ve lost half a stone though. My interim M and S ones are just not the same!

Can you please update on how they are?

OP these are really interesting jeans. Am I right in thinking they have a draw string?

Anyone that can find your perfect bra from grabbing your arse must be gifted indeed!

I can't do heavy jeans, as much as they look great slightly flared. I need lightweight. Any ideas?

@SardinesOnGingerbread thank you ! I didn't realise that xl straight was the name of that particular jean ,thought it was just a description

www.levi.com/GB/en_GB/clothing/women/jeans/loose-jeans/xl-straight-jeans/p/A87010001

I was reading and knew you were going to say Levi’s!! I am 5.1) But the Levi’s staff only have to look you up and down and whip out the jeans that will fit!! Love it

ooh this link has one of those videos of a person wearing them.

https://www.asos.com/levis/levis-xl-straight-loose-fit-jeans-in-mid-blue/prd/207083300?affid=29378&_EAIaIQobChMI1aeJme2wjgMVjINQBh1jiAHJEAQYAiABEgJ_CPD_BwE&channelref=product+search&ppcadref=21661755829%7C%7C&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=21661755829&utm_content=&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21651522633&gbraid=0AAAAADqFjOA8tANsyAIDcRO4YNFlmU2LQ&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1aeJme2wjgMVjINQBh1jiAHJEAQYAiABEgJ_CPD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

@NescafeAndIce the US site adds this detail

• Soft. Cloud-like. Cool. This garment is made with Linen+ denim, our newest fabric innovation that combines the authentic feel of denim with ultra-airy linen.
• 85% Cotton, 15% Linen

@simsbustinoutmimi if you google there seems to be a wide range of prices for the same item ,depending on the retailer

These are lightweight. They're not full weight denim. I spent much of yesterday rolling around on my bed reading, and eating chocolate Brazil nuts. They remained very comfortable and I didn't expire despite yesterday's heat. Admittedly when it got to 3pm I did overheat, but I had risked a bit of ironing and housework (cautionary tale).

Only a decorative belt, which is removable. I do like a drawstring but all the elastic or drawstring jeans I see tend to really add bulk to my burgeoning chocolate pouch at the front.

Yes, please update!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Well mine arrived super quickly. I had a very quick try on at lunchtime and will have another go later if it’s not too warm with some different tops.

I ordered the black version (www.very.co.uk/levis-xl-straight-jeans-influential-lady-black/1600995419.prd) so not as lightweight as the OPs.

•29 inch leg was perfect for just over 5ft me.
•Waist fit was a tiny bit loose but hip fit was good so wouldn’t be able to size down - I did appreciate the waist band dipping at the front.
•Leg volume was great.
•The side view wasn’t great for me though. I need a bit more butt-cupping for jeans personally.
•The tie belt was neither here nor there and I think I’d get annoyed with it.

I may try some linen mix ones in a smaller size given linen has more movement when worn and they were indeed comfortable.

I also tried the Xl Chino version (https://www.very.co.uk/levis-xl-chino-performance-cool-jeans-big-yikes/1600995406.prd bargain!).

•Denim was more lightweight and flowing than the black pair.
•Just enough shape around the butt for a nicer side view. Not so much that they were tight or uncomfortable though.
• A more pronounced waist dip at the front and darts at the back. Wouldn’t be able to cinch in with a belt due to the shaping.
•Side seam pockets rather than jean pockets at the front means you’d have to be careful about the hip sizing to avoid pulling.

I also hit buy after this thread (and I love both my culotte version and the xl skirt. I have a problem). I love them. They arrived so quickly and perfect fit.

Freya

Ooh, someone else mentioned culottes. How long are they please? If they come up too short I look like Miss Trunchbull mates with the Diddymen

Oh for the love of god you’re on the chat board. Is no one else allowed to have a normal life because shit happens elsewhere.

My current faves but I buy in the USA as I visit regularly. Two pairs for 75 pounds.

They are mid calf on me and I'm 5ft 7. They are nowhere near my knees. Just a heads up that I think they come up a little bigger on the waist and I'd say the fabric is slightly weightier. The full length ones I have in a 28 and they are high waisted. The culottes in the same size fall a bit lower on the waist if you see what I mean. If you want high waisted maybe size down one.

@SirChenjins sounds like we’re v similar height and shape. M&S sienna are the best I’ve found by a long way. I bought a pair three years ago for summer and they’re as good as new.

Also M&S magic jeans in straight leg have been good (but I’ve needed to have these shortened).