Teacher hugged me

[Gini87]

A few weeks ago parents were invited into school - primary. At the end of the session I was gathering some things together. There were still a few parents in the classroom chatting to teacher. As I was about to leave teacher came over to me and said she just wanted to say thank you for the lovely feedback I had written about her and how she’s really loved teaching DD. She then threw her arms around me and gave me a hug and said thank you and she will miss DD so much. I didn’t really think anything of it, but another school mum saw this and said she didn’t hug any of the other parents and then commented on how DD throughout the school year had been the 1st for everything. I’m ignoring, but just wondered if this was a bit OTT?!

My DCs teachers have given me hugs over the course of the year, as a family we have been through an awful lot, culminating in the loss of DH. Their support has been invaluable. I've gone past caring what others may think, they are welcome to switch lives with me & bring back my DH!
(Sorry, feeling quite angry & emotional today)

I don't think OP was "weird"ed out until 'spiteful mum' threw in her two penneth worth.

Oh, just ignore it. The teacher appreciates your supportive parenting and you made her feel valued. It's a rare thing these days in education. The norm is toxic, WhatsApp groups and parents projecting their failures onto the class teacher.

100%

Teaching is often a very thankless profession. 90% of the time, if a parent comes to see you, it's not just to have a chin wag. Maybe after a year of numerous snide parents, she just wants to show how grateful she is for positive feedback

Where is OP "complaining"? She said in her opening post she didn't think anything of it until another mother made a snide remark. OP's posted here for reassurance, not to "complain".

The teacher said you'd given some lovely feedback - she appreciated this. Clearly she has gelled with your DD this year and will genuinely miss her. Nothing wrong with her feeling the emotion of that and giving you a hug - I think it's rather lovely!

No surprise old sour face didn't get a hug though eh? And she actually also doesn't know who did and didn't get a hug - just because she perhaps didn't see any herself, doesn't mean they didn't happen?

Bet she didn't write a genuine note of appreciation - too busy feeling hard done by and watching what others are doing rather than concentrating on her own DC!

The headteacher hugged me once! DD is every teacher's favourite. She's actually quite challenging at home!

For the love...she didn't grab your fanny! It was a spontaneous display of appreciation and happiness.

How is this an issue?

By hugging you, she was thanking you for the positive feedback. Don't overthink it.

There's hugging and there's hugging. This doesn't sound unprofessional at all.

I'm sure I've done this to parents and the odd child at emotional moments in my teaching career.

The other mum sounds to be a bit of a Karen/jealous?

I have felt like hugging several of my childrens teachers over the years and I'm not a hugger at all.
They were brilliant, kind and fun.
They gave my children a fantastic year and they left school buzzing and happy.

Ignore that snide parent.
Nothing sadder than a competitive parent.
Sadly I know quite a few.

I thought this would be about a male teacher hugging you in an inappropriate manner!

From what you say it was a friendly female to female hug - nothing more nothing less.

I'm old enough to remember when people in the UK didn't hug or kiss in social situations, and I know that some don't like this change, but that's how it is today.

Geez, who'd be a teacher these days with everyone watching every move you make!

TBH As a person in my 40s. It's people my age right up to 80s/90s that don't know about boundaries, not the younger generations.

My kids connected with their teachers and I thanked them all the way through even in secondary. The reaction to the secondary school thank yous was the craziest, people clearly rarely say nice things.

I may not personally have agreed with every last policy, rule or outcome but my kids never knew that until pretty much the sixth form. We backed the school, the decisions and were understanding when things didn't always go our way.

The outcome was that my kids got more out of the system then others. Mock interviews, friendly hellos in town, connections and recommendations.

I think we all look back on the school days as mostly happy, most of the time.

And I have a huge amount of respect for those professionals doing a job I wouldn't want. You made a big positive contribution to my kids lives, thank you.

In my opinion the teacher was unprofessional, a teacher should not make it obvious if they favour one child- if its obvious to the parents how do children feel and whats stopping that teachers giving this student preferential treatment? Thank you for your kind words would have been appropriate and sufficient.

My 16 year old will tell you without a seconds hesitation that Miss Bell the teacher he had at 10 was the best he ever had. They just got each other.

A genuine hug is not a bad thing. I just hugged a colleague today that I had never hugged before. It was nice!

I would put money on the some of the other kids being hard kids to manage and parents that expect the world with little support from the parents.

If you support the teacher and have brought up a lovely child, why shouldn’t you get some positive feedback too.

A child who is a pleasure to teach and lovely feedback from their parents - one in a million! Well done you on all counts! Teachers want the whole class to be like your child 🤩

During covid a teacher gave my kid a right row as they wanted something from their bag & teacher said not allowed to take anything home during covid (except homework & reading books).
This teacher was awful to my kid.
One day I heard her shouting & I said to someone crikey who is she shouting at, they said your kid.
I told her never to speak to my child like that again & no wonder they hated school.
Fast forward the end of year & she cuddles the brightest one in class - she actually said I know I shouldn't as it's covid but I will miss them so much.
She did not do it with anyone else in the whole class.

A bit unprofessional either way to be honest.
Get yours was pleased with comments.
Did other parents give feedback?
Pretty certain most teachers have favourites.

The other parent is being weird.

I’m not a hugger by nature but understand others are, so if a teacher hugged me in the scenario you describe, I’d just take from it that she felt appreciated and was grateful to you for that.

I've cried with some parents (if their children had challenges to overcome or had had a particularly hard time) and hugged a couple of them. One in particular. Her son was a little shit to her, despite her always doing her best and putting him first.

Teachers are people too. And if you made her feel really appreciated, that is worth gold. Teaching is a vocation and to be truly appreciated in a British school is rare.

It was OTT and not normal. It’s completely different if you were friends out of school but in this case it sounds like you aren’t. I would maybe let it go this time but if it happened again I’d be informing the HT.