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Original poster

Teacher hugged me

94 replies

Gini87 · 07/07/2025 09:12

A few weeks ago parents were invited into school - primary. At the end of the session I was gathering some things together. There were still a few parents in the classroom chatting to teacher. As I was about to leave teacher came over to me and said she just wanted to say thank you for the lovely feedback I had written about her and how she’s really loved teaching DD. She then threw her arms around me and gave me a hug and said thank you and she will miss DD so much. I didn’t really think anything of it, but another school mum saw this and said she didn’t hug any of the other parents and then commented on how DD throughout the school year had been the 1st for everything. I’m ignoring, but just wondered if this was a bit OTT?!

OP posts:
ManchesterLu · 07/07/2025 13:36

Shock horror, people have different relationships with different people. This shouldn't be news. It sounds like jealousy.

millym102 · 07/07/2025 13:36

I'm a teacher and there are definitely parents I would want to hug a) because their kids are fab and b) because I really like them as people. Especially at the end of teaching their kids. I am finishing teaching a class I love, and feel very privileged to have taught, in two weeks and will not be teaching them next year and I would definitely hug their parents! I imagine for primary the connection is far greater. Honestly don't think there is anything wrong with this. I also have my own kids and have definitely hugged their teachers and been hugged by them!

This reminds me of my oldest kid's year 6 teacher, who gave a speech at his leaving event talking about how much she loved her students and how in teaching this seems to be something we are scared to say. I wholeheartedly agree with her. Teachers caring about kids is a wonderful thing.

Kirbert2 · 07/07/2025 13:36

I wouldn't think anything of it.

I'm pretty sure that 99% of teachers at my sons school have hugged me at some point now.

(My son became very unwell at school last year and almost died for context).

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mezlou84 · 07/07/2025 13:37

It was ott of the parent. What a jealous, spiteful creature she is to go out of her way to make snide comments and bring people down. She's trying to insinuate that your child came 1st in everything because you and the teacher get on well and trying to turn it into something it's not. Ignore, ignore, ignore and if it continues speak to the school headteacher about harassment. It was a genuine in the moment hug from a very happy person that couldn't think of anything else to convey how thankful she was other than the hug because she felt words weren't enough. I would go away from the encounter thinking what a jealous, mean creature the other parent is and stay out of their way as much as possible.

Flupflup · 07/07/2025 13:40

The other parent is the problem. Teacher sounds lovely.

ScratCat · 07/07/2025 13:40

I’d have recoiled at a hug, because I hate them unless from people I’m close to. But she sounds like a lovely teacher.

Hidreams · 07/07/2025 13:41

I wouldn't love it if a teacher hugged me 🤔

Tedsshed · 07/07/2025 13:42

OP, you have raised a bright child who connects well with people and inspires affection. And you wrote generous feedback that the teacher appreciated. You sound lovely. Your daughter sounds lovely. Don't let some random person spoil this for you. Please don't overthink or feel bad. It's all good.

Zov · 07/07/2025 13:43

What on earth is wrong with that @Gini87 ??? Confused

Rosscameasdoody · 07/07/2025 13:45

Snide comment born of jealousy I think. Treat it with the contempt it deserves and avoid the toxic parent.

Grammarnut · 07/07/2025 13:46

What a nice gesture. She actually likes your DC - and you. Why are you complaining? Did she then whip out her Lesbian dating card and ask you out?! All sorts of people hug me. I object to the men who attempt to do it and do not know me from Eve! (Mainly in pubs)

Tiredofwhataboutery · 07/07/2025 13:47

Teachers often love my twins, they are “sparky” but very engaged and often have interesting points of view and are always willing to share it during class discussions. They listen though do the work and help others.

They are always front and centre of all productions. Teachers just say they know they can cope with role / won’t clam up on stage.

Julimia · 07/07/2025 13:47

The teacher was reacting to the fact that you'd made an effort ad had shared good feedback. These days the only communication is often of a complaining nature. Take her response for what it is and it is nothing to do with anyone else

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/07/2025 13:52

I think it's nice. God knows its a pretty brutal job and if you find a kid (and parent) that you connect with why wouldn't you express some gratitude. I'd just chalk it up to being a nice gesture.

LittlleMy · 07/07/2025 13:59

Julimia · 07/07/2025 13:47

The teacher was reacting to the fact that you'd made an effort ad had shared good feedback. These days the only communication is often of a complaining nature. Take her response for what it is and it is nothing to do with anyone else

Exactly. In a job fraught with so many complexities where sometimes parents make the most ridiculous of complaints and children frequently may have behavioural issues that they have to manage without additional resource - it’s really nice to have some genuinely happy and acknowledged teachers out there! And it’s so lovely that they don’t all see kids as just numbers and through it all still make connections with certain kids that for whatever reason they bond more so. Invaluably positive experience/memories for the kids also I guess.

NotSoLeggyBrunette · 07/07/2025 14:00

No wonder at our school teachers all teachers keep distance from parents as if it is a policy. When lovely connection and a hug is going to weird out people like you

Jellycatspyjamas · 07/07/2025 14:03

My DSs head teacher hugged me at his leavers assembly - she’s seen both my kids through primary school and it’s not always been easy. It was definitely a combination of “phew we got there in the end” and “I’m sad to be losing you”. She wasn’t hugging every parent, but we’ve worked closely through the years to support my kids complex needs. I’d ignore the other parent and just not give her headspace.

FrenchandSaunders · 07/07/2025 14:03

One of my DDs had a teacher that asked if she could adopt her 😁. I jokingly agreed, as she certainly didn't behave like that for me at home.

nam3c4ang3 · 07/07/2025 14:08

Ffs teachers can’t win can they.

justasking111 · 07/07/2025 14:22

There's was dinner/playground assistant lady my son had at primary who adored him. She's 80 now I still send her a Christmas card every year

AveriltheAvidReader · 07/07/2025 14:28

I was a teacher and I had a parent kiss me for being so nice to their child!
She was an actress so rather 'luvvie' (but lovely too!)

It's not a big deal.

tempacct · 07/07/2025 14:40

DD's teachers and staff and I hugged each other when she left. Sounds like you left really nice feedback and she wanted to thank you? Non issue.

WestwardHo1 · 07/07/2025 14:42

Isn't this....quite nice?

AngelicKaty · 07/07/2025 14:52

@Gini87 No, it wasn't OTT, OP. The teacher repaid your kindness in your feedback with some kindness of her own - accept it for what it was. (And yes, definitely give that other mum a wide berth - she's just not very nice and spoke out of jealousy and spite.)

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 07/07/2025 14:52

theres nothing wrong or weird about the hugging. course teacher have favourites but should never let that influence decisions.
was your daughter always first? ive seen it happen it doesnt help the child and can isolate them from peers or maybe that parent was winding you up

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