In praise of the hero husbands

[MaggieMagpie357]

I see a lot of threads on here about horrible, useless, rude, lazy, badly behaved husbands - so I thought it would be nice to share a story about a decent one!

He happens to be mine of course. And sometimes he does my absolute head in. But today he is a fucking hero.

We are going on holiday tomorrow and I am
v v stressed with last minute packing, finishing off work stuff, terminally ill cat and lots of other stuff. I had bought BST Hyde Park tickets for me and DD16 today as a post-GCSE treat, and I was silently cursing having done this as there wouldn’t be enough time to do everything before we fly tomorrow.

I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want to stress DD out, she has had a hard time lately and deserves this treat so much.

And without me saying a word, DH offered to take her. Not begrudgingly, no questions asked, just pure thoughtfulness. And I am so bloody grateful!!!

I mean, he probably just fancies Sabrina Carpenter, but at this point I am eternally grateful that I have a DH who can step up without even being asked, go to big event (he hates stuff like this) and not be sulky, miserable or cross about it.

So please feel free to celebrate your hero husbands here!

Mine's been particularly great today so I'll join in. We're selling our house and have viewings next week. Needs a good clean as we were both busy at work all last week so not on top of it. We decided we'd blitz it today (I hate cleaning btw)
I had a late night and woke up today about 11am to a cup of coffee and DH telling me he's done the whole house except the bedroom (as I was dead to the world!) I was made up 😁

@FrodoBiggins bravo to your DH!

I don’t class that as a hero - it’s an expected part of being in a marriage/family. Normal behaviour.

@Parker231 it doesn’t seem that
normal for Mumsnet……

Unfortunately many on Mn have very low standards and expectations of their DH.

@Parker231 which is part of the reason I shared. This should be standard in a healthy relationship but most people on MN don’t seem to know this

Husband does one helpful (and fun) thing while wife does all the rest, and gets all the praise. Sounds about right.

My DH solo parented the kids for 3 days while I travelled to work. He does that most weeks and is used to it. Usually the weekends are more 50/50 parenting. But I’ve come down with a nasty infection, so he’s cracked on with family life all weekend while I watch rom coms in bed, knowing that I’ve got another work trip tomorrow night, so he’ll not really get a breather. I think lots of guys would sulk about this (tbh I probably would too), but he’s just got on with things and hasn’t made me feel guilty for a second. I have a great spouse.

Quite - I mean I’m guessing he could have done the packing and looked after the cat…which is what I was expecting and not that he went instead 😂

@CeciliaMars now come on. You know that’s not what I’m saying. Before he left to drive to London, he cleaned the entire downstairs. Is that better for you?

To be fair, I'd much rather stay at home and pack and look after the cat 🤣

Is this an ironic post? I thought you were going to say that he did all your (family-related) jobs so that you could still go with your dd. But instead he's done the fun bit and left you with the shitty stuff. What am I missing?

Cross-posted with he cleaning update. But still - you didn't get to go!

Then don’t call him a hero…it’s not hero behaviour it’s being a parent behaviour

@Reallybadidea you’re missing the fact that it makes more sense for me to be at home and finish the stuff I need to do. I don’t even like Sabrina 😂

@MaggieMagpie357I thought you were going to say that he offered to do all the drudgery like holiday prep and packing, it seems like he’s chosen the easier option by going to the event which might be fun and will definitely be a bonding experience with your daughter.

So for men to be a “hero” they just have to be an equal partner. Thats so depressing. Women do this (and more) every day and no one even notices.

@SeriouslyStressed you’re seriously missing the point. I need time at home to sort out all my stuff. He’s done his packing and cleaned this morning. I’m happy that he’s taking her.

The men and boys I read about on MN bear absolutely no resemblance to the ones I know IRL. Neither do the women who regularly pop on at every given opportunity to hate on men and boys on here, actually.

You just get the extreme situations
and the threads that start out with a fairly trivial problem but become exaggerated as the thread goes on by the man hating trouble makers who leap on any opportunity they see to bring down every man and marriage they read about.

I know so many amazing, kind men (including my boyfriend, ex husband, brother and sons). I feel sorry for those who seem to only ever encounter bad men (and who I only ever seem to read about here).

I’d have been impressed if he had done the home jobs while you had a fun day out with your dd. Bonus points if you didn’t have to ask/make him a list either.

Hes basically entertaining his child while you do all the menial tasks. That’s bare minimum not hero.

Today dh tookour son to his school fair while I rested after an injury/did life admin. He’s also cooking a roast while I play games with ds He’s not a hero he’s co parenting and tbh if anything I’m slightly irritated at him due to the fact they only spent an hour at the summer fair ( including travel time)and I was banking on 2 hours.

Anyone would be a hero to go to a Sabrina Carpenter concert full of kids. I’d rather be indoors with the cat

C’mon that isn’t heroic! He hasn’t saved anyone’s life. He’s just being a decent considerate spouse, as everyone should be. Why do consider men to be heroes for doing things which we wouldn’t bat an eyelid at women doing?

This. Bar is so low.

Mine was a good man. He had time and patience for everyone. He faced stage 4 cholangiocarcinoma and never once complained about feeling unwell, never once did the dressing gown of doom, was always there to share the load that life brings. I miss him every second of every day.

Hero husbands?!! 🤮

Mine

Works both ways here - DH has been working, 7 days out of the last 8 so is tired as he is actually retired (supposedly). So yesterday I did all his gardening jobs, watering plants etc. Today car was playing up so he's taken it to bits, fixed it and I didn't even have to ask. Now he's taken the dog out (supposedly to make up for being out at work for days) but actually because he knows I've been hoping to hoover - it is SO much easier to hoover without the dog (attacks the hoover as you do it, she's special like that).