In praise of the hero husbands

[MaggieMagpie357]

I see a lot of threads on here about horrible, useless, rude, lazy, badly behaved husbands - so I thought it would be nice to share a story about a decent one!

He happens to be mine of course. And sometimes he does my absolute head in. But today he is a fucking hero.

We are going on holiday tomorrow and I am
v v stressed with last minute packing, finishing off work stuff, terminally ill cat and lots of other stuff. I had bought BST Hyde Park tickets for me and DD16 today as a post-GCSE treat, and I was silently cursing having done this as there wouldn’t be enough time to do everything before we fly tomorrow.

I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want to stress DD out, she has had a hard time lately and deserves this treat so much.

And without me saying a word, DH offered to take her. Not begrudgingly, no questions asked, just pure thoughtfulness. And I am so bloody grateful!!!

I mean, he probably just fancies Sabrina Carpenter, but at this point I am eternally grateful that I have a DH who can step up without even being asked, go to big event (he hates stuff like this) and not be sulky, miserable or cross about it.

So please feel free to celebrate your hero husbands here!

Was that attitude intentional? 😂

I really can’t be bothered getting into the “why would you look after a child who’s not yours” debate today, so yes - it was a recount of my day!

Yep. DH gets to do the fun stuff whilst his wife does all the grunt work

Oh that sounds dismal. How perfunctory to get the daily thank you.

My husband is a really early riser and brings me coffee every morning before I get up. He doesn’t have to do that. I’ve never asked him to do that, but he has done it every day since before we were married. Prior to me WFH, he would always de-ice my car when he was doing his. Now I WFH, I come downstairs to find he has turned on my office, booted up my computer and put a cup of tea on my desk. When we are both WFH, he brings me tea throughout the day, even though he wasn’t making one himself. Those little things mean a whole lot to me. I don’t need them done, they aren’t part of the 50/50 parenting/household tasks. I’m an adult and can do those things myself, but it’s really nice when people do things for you.

If I had organised a trip with my daughter, I wouldn’t expect him to take her instead of me. The trip has been arranged for the two of us. If I subsequently realised I didn’t have time and he offered to do it instead, particularly if I knew it was something he wasn’t keen on, I’d think that was a lovely thing to do. I wouldn’t take it for granted that he’d do it, particularly as he can find being around a lot of people very difficult.

I agree that doesn’t sound particularly remarkable. Hope you didn’t do all the pre-holiday jobs OP!

DH has had all 3 kids for the last 3 weekends and will do next weekend too. He does most of the school pick ups and bedtimes too. My job is a lot of evenings and weekends! Cest la vie. He’s a parent!

My dh helped save the lives of 2kids yesterday so yep he's a hero to their scared Parents and to me. He volunteers for the RNLI and they were called out yesterday to rescue a couple of kids who were in the process of being swept out to sea on an inflatable. Children now safe and sound so too right I'm damn proud of him.

Apologies if you felt my post had some sort of ‘attitude’. It wasn’t really meant that way. It’s just that this thread is apparently about ‘hero husbands’, and to be fair, there’s nothing heroic about your boyfriend getting up and looking after his own child, that’s all I was pointing out. Glad you’re having a nice Sunday.

Now THAT is remarkable! Well done to your DH!

Mine cleared the drains before work today.

Thanks

Nothing perfunctory about it - it’s genuine and he knows and appreciates it in the same way as I love receiving the flowers he arranges to be delivered to me wherever in the world I am, every week for 30 years and chosen by him in person.

I don't want to say his role but he supports / helps people in emergencies.

Would DD not rather go with a mate? I can’t imagine wanting to do anything with either of my parents at 16. (Misses point of thread)

This! He gets to Swan off to a concert whilst OP is at home doing the hard slog and he's a hero.

I really hope MN is not indicative of men as a whole because fuck me, the bar is really, really low

Oh come on. Be happy.
If you want a laugh read the coloured hair thread, a closet bigot's playground.

My husband was a fireman pulling three people out of a burning building many years ago. Definitely a hero.
If you've seen the 'goodness gracious me' sketch with two grannies he meets that criteria too! If he goes before me I wouldn't marry again. I don't even like men. I'm a pain, he's lovely. There I've said it.

The bar is so low for men that people are describing men doing housework or looking after their children as heroic.

My husband works away for weeks at the time. Obviously when he’s away I get on with it and juggle everything. My female neighbour goes away with work once a year for 3 days. Omg what a hero her husband is and mums and nans on the school run falling over themselves to help him.

My husband is a hero. I’ve had long covid for years now. I can only do really basic things around the house now and only on a ‘good’ day. We have three young kids and he in essence now has a fourth. We earned similar salaries previously, so he’s trying to do everything as I obviously had to stop work too.

Ugh. What makes you think it is fun. Sounds like he hates that sort of thing. I certainly do

Part of what the OP needed to do was pack her stuff for their holiday. I assume she needs to do that herself because she knows what clothes, shoes, toiletries etc she wants to take. Do people really think she should leave her DH to pack all her stuff? Would you all want your DHs to pack for you for a holiday?

Obviously you are going to see a lot of bad men stories because this is a chat advice forum. You don't need advice for things that are good. Your OH sounds ok but I do agree I'm not sure that's hero status. The PP whose husband is her carer maybe. Sounds like yours left you to do everything for the holiday including looking after a sick cat then took his own daughter to a concert that you were going to take her to. Not sure he will need to wear his underpants over his trousers any time soon.

This. When you’re trying to juggle a lot, someone freeing up some of your time to make things more manageable is amazing.

When I was married to my exh I would read these threads thinking I wish I had someone like that. And now I do! my DP is truly as close to perfect as you could expect a person to be. We have a baby together as well as my daughter that we share 50/50 with my exh, He gets stuck in with my older daughter just as much as I do, zero resentment from him in prioritising her when needed, fully shares his finances to include my older daughter, and so on...when it comes to our baby, he is the most hands on partner I could have imagined. He has timeless patience and energy, gives me a completely un-begrudged lie in at every single opportunity, takes on equal mental load, cleans and tidies constantly, is a great cook, and also is the most loving and loyal guy I could have hoped for. He's a much better person than I am!

No I understand what you’re saying.

My stepson is (very) high needs, and usually requires two of us to manage. Particularly at transition times (mornings!). Making his breakfast is actually a genuine challenge, because he can’t be left alone. Under “normal” circumstances I’d agree that looking after your own kid isn’t hero behaviour, but he genuinely is 2:1 most of the time, so that lie in was honestly a genuine gift!

I appreciate that looking after someone else’s child isn’t compulsory, but it is usually how we “run” things. So at the risk of sounding arrogant, giving me a few hours extra sleep and a ready made brew really will have been a hardship for him 😂.

We are both usually on the go from the minute the kid opens his eyes. If my DP was single, he’d need carers/support in.

Her dh managed to get all his own packing done though leaving his afternoon free.

while o/p is still chasing round getting all the jobs finished so she has to miss the concert with her dd.

OP doesn’t indicate that it was just her stuff left to pack. You and I both know that in all likelihood she has been left to do the packing for everyone else too whilst they are off having fun.