Transgender 4 year old wanting to join girls only group

[Helpwithdivorce]

So I’ll preface this by saying im very much a live your life however you please as long as you’re not hurting anybody kind of person. However I run a group, which is just for girls aged 4-7.

I’ve had a request from a parent for their child to join. The child is 4 and the parent said they are transgender. Now here is my predicament, which may be rightly or wrongly.

Firstly I feel like this mother is just out to cause drama, there are other very similar mixed gender groups, there is no reason this child needs to join a group only for girls.

Secondly I simply do not believe that a 3/4 year old child knows that they are transgender. I feel this is being peddled by the mother, again feeding the drama.

What would you do? I really don’t want this mother in my group, but the group is ‘inclusive’ so I can’t say no you can’t join.
Currently I’ve just ignored the request.

And if there was a waiting list then presumably there was a nice little girl who was desperate to join rainbows and excluded from doing so by that boy.

Calling people 'bigots' just doesn't work anymore, I'm afraid.

Not quite true.
They have said they continue to support their members and will await further guidance. Their statement was on the 25th April. I'm not aware of anything public since then.

Transgender at four years of age? The kid won’t even know what it means wtf I’ve heard nothing like it in my life!
Tell her no it’s a group for girls not boys simple as.

Pushing an adult agenda onto children doesn’t help them.

We have received your application form and you have been added to the waiting list. We will be in touch when a place becomes available.

And just never have a place become available.

That poor boy - this sex-change nonsense is severe child abuse and it infuriates me that parents are allowed to indoctrinate their children with notions that they're born in the wrong body etc. That little boy's male body is perfect as it is.

@IridescentRainbow.I mean this with the best of intentions but are you not concerned about your grandchild's long-term health? Yes, a little boy or girl can pass as the opposite sex and be dead cute while they are at it but puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones and surgery leave a person sterile, without a libido and, all too often, in chronic pain.

@IridescentRainbow.I mean this with the best of intentions but are you not concerned about your grandchild's long-term health? Yes, a little boy or girl can pass as the opposite sex and be dead cute while they are at it but puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones and surgery leave a person sterile, without a libido and, all too often, in chronic pain.

Why wouldn't you just contact head office?

100% this!
So much of the trans issue is just a cover for promoting regressive sexist stereotypes and in some cases, homophobia.

My grandchild wants to be known as the opposite gender. It’s not anything to do with clothing or a preference for certain types of toys. (Which is ridiculous in itself, why should only girls play with dolls and boys play with cars? ) Clothes are chosen for comfort or because the colour is attractive. Some would be classed as girls clothes and others are boys clothes. Much like me really ! Today I am wearing a pink dress, tomorrow it might be jeans and a black tee shirt.
No, those things really have nothing to do with it. I am a woman. Inside me I have always felt female. There is no doubt in my mind that I am female. I’ve never even had to think about it. That is different to how my grandchild feels . My grandchild feels that their gender is wrong. It’s how they feel inside. I want life to be easy for my grandchildren. So do their parents. If at puberty they suddenly decide they have been wrong all these years and suddenly they want to revert to their original name and gender, we will be delighted because nobody would wish a much loved child to experience the bigotry displayed on here. I’d say it’s highly unlikely that they will suddenly revert so we will continue as we have been, offering as normal a childhood as possible, and continuing to love and cherish a beautiful child.

I knew a mum for a few years who had a girl (5years when we first met) and a boy (3 years ). Over the course of the couple of years I knew her, the mum started to dress her son up in girls clothes, altered his name to be the feminine version, allowed/encouraged him to grow his hair long, paint his nails, wear makeup alongside his sister. No idea what he thought about it!

I bumped into her a couple of years ago. Now her son (8 years at this point) is fully a stereotypical boy. Her daughter (10 years) though is now her son. Cut her hair, changed her name.

This mother was going to have a trans child come hell or high water. Utterly batshit

From a young age were other children asked to pretend the boy was a girl? Or vice versa

@IridescentRainbow
What has led a child to think that their "gender" (sex) is wrong?
Plus - stop saying that there's "bigotry" on here. There isn't.

Squirrels? Woodcraft Folk? Other clubs? I am worried about that child, I would hope to minimise any differences at that age, he/she can wear whatever he/she likes, join whatever activities, play with dolls etc, but I wouldn't want to make too much of it at this age, just go with the flow but don't do anything proactive. I was a Rainbow leader when my girls were young, and we wouldn't have accepted a boy. What is Girlguiding's position?

Better for the boy to understand he won’t be allowed in single sex spaces when he’s an adult. A great lesson to learn now.

Who thinks that children age 3 and 5 should wear makeup and paint their nails? No matter which gender?

Of course I worry! I adore that child. Actually puberty blockers are banned now. I don’t know what is in the future. I don’t know how much anguish puberty will bring. I’m just hoping that the fact that my grandchild has been surrounded by love and acceptance, not only by the family, but by friends as well, will help when times get difficult.

Yup. Just let them, what’s the harm kind of behaviour is insufferable.

No harm will come by letting him join. I wouldn’t have even said that he’s transgender, I would have just joined and kept quiet as I doubt anyone would have noticed at age 4. I have known a couple of trans people over the years, living in London and being out on the queer scene and they were genuinely sweet ‘women’ that were more petite and feminine than me. It would have been clear from a very young age that they were meant to have been born female. It must have been incredibly hard growing up. One died actually in tragic circumstances - the other is on tv in adverts sometime and you wouldn’t know she was born male. The men that have abused the term have ruined it for all and set them back many years.

I'm guessing that this child was loved and accepted when they just lived as their own sex? What changed?

Their position is that boys (& men as leaders) and their feels take priority over girls, safeguarding and also the law. It’s a matter of time before action is taken against them, I wonder if they’ve been reported?

I get these vibes too..

The law is against her surely?