How do you react when your DC could have done better?

[EagleOnTheWall]

Ok, so I know this sounds awful, but how do you react when your DC e.g. comes home with e.g. a 7 on something after having done no work whatsoever for that subject this year?

By that I mean never once learning for tests, not bringing home any work to finish off or revise. The teacher said it was a strong 7, almost an 8.

I said well done but there was a pause when I had to bite my tongue, and it was noticed.

She is definitely capable of a 9 in this subject.

I'd agree with this. All well and good the posters who say GCSE's don't matter.... What matters is getting into the habits of knowing how to work hard, if you coast through GCSE's A-levels really hit hard

Clearly they are not finding the subject difficult or challenging. I might point out that the work may get harder and not to assume they will be able to get good grades in future without putting in the work. How well did their peers and friends do? If they are doing better would that be an incentive to do better or are they all pretty relaxed about doing the work? Or is your child the top and doesn't really want to stand out too much by actually working hard?

I think there’s often a perception that to gain something of value you have to work hard. At higher levels that’s true (no one’s going to qualify for the olympics on talent alone) but at a lower level it isn’t necessarily the case. I would say someone nearly on an 8 by the end of year 10 will be on an 8, maybe a 9, by year 11

You are wrong. Revision is for reviewing what you learned first time round. The clue is in the name. Not everyone has the amazing memory that you must have.

DD needed a lot of nudging to revise for GCSEs and gentle encouragement for A levels. By the time she was at university she was on her own. She is now doing a post grad degree and needed reminding to take a break from revision when she was home for Easter.

She has obviously matured significantly over the years and has developed methods of revision that work for her.

I think a lot of teenagers don't know how to revise and need to be taught how to.

I also know several young people who coasted their GCSEs then became unstuck when it came to A levels.

I would say well done and leave it there for now. In September I would encourage them to study and work hard on the premise that they should put 100% into everything as it will get harder the higher up they go, A levels, uni, etc.

These exams are merely a stepping stone for the next stage so no point getting too stressed if capable of passing with little effort though.

I'd say "well done" and thank the gods they are doing so well without putting in the work!

I don't think it's the moment to talk about work ethic. I also don't think it's that helpful to focus on why an A grade student isn't getting and A** unless they have a clear career plan that would require it.

My son was the same OP when doing GCSE's & I had an honest conversation with him & said you've got great results & that's brilliant BUT you need to put the work in if you want to achieve better. He's just finished his A levels (results in August) & he increased his studies a bit but not a lot so we will see. Feedback from sixth form was great, 98%attendance, contributing in class, does his homework (but the bare minimum). I'm sitting back & letting him make his own choices BUT it's hard when you know they a probably capable of more! That said I'm proud of him, he gets up & shows up, has had a part time pub job for 2 years & causes no trouble so I think it's important to look at your kid's overall & not just focus on grades 😉 x

It's a good grade but I would be concerned about work ethic and complacency. It sounds like she's not been properly challenged so far but there will come a time when she's faced with something she can't just coast through. It's at this point that she may not have the skills to knuckle down and put the effort in and learning how to cope if she can't do something straight off will feel strange to her.

I am right.

Learn it right first time. Do your recall during your lesson, on the way home. Note the things that you struggled with, go home and look them up, reinforce, recall. Keep recalling for a week, try a question. When you're bored, you know it.

Don't wait until the month before your exams. That's not revision, that's relearning from scratch and wholly inefficient.

I don't know many people who can remember exactly everything they have learned over a 2 year period without relooking at their work.

You must have an exceptional memory.

@Notateacheranymore is right. I work in LG and a default requirement is GCSE or equivalent (if overseas etc) Maths and English. Instant rejection if it isn’t stated on the application, and evidenced if offered the job. Even with all the degrees and experience in the world.

This. I think coasting without working hard disrespects those (eg my older son with SEN) who have no option but to slog. That’s what I told my younger son and he could get that POV

This.

This was my DS...he's very bright and put no effort in at all to get 7s.

For GCSEs I did what is always taboo on MN resorted to bribery, where he got money for top grades only, so nothing for anything below a 7, but £50 for each 9, then £30 for each 8 and less for a 7. It really focused him and he actually did some studying for the first time...

You say well done, and challenge her to see if she can do better next year.

@mummyto9angels
Once they have A levels nobody is interested in GCSEs.

Unfortunately that is no longer true. Some universities for some courses (such as veterinary and medicine) are very much taking GCSE grades into account and want to see X number of GCSEs at Y grade.

@EagleOnTheWall
If your DC has a burning desire to do a reasonably high level degree at a good university, I would be asking the universities right now what the entrance requirements are for the course they're interested in as it's better to find out now that they will need high pass GCSEs rather than coast along and find out later. Depends on what they want to do

@mummyto9angels ad @RosesAndHellebores "Once they have A levels nobody is interested in GCSEs." sadly untrue.

Ds applied to Durham university for the very competitive course of Economics, he was rejected specifically on his "achieved grades" which were his GCSEs. He got 9999998887. To quote them " Although they were strong, they were not as strong as those of successful applications." So actually it does matter because it depends who you are applying against.

I know that 7s are incredible and they really are but it depends what they want to do after GCSEs and it would be good to ask any sixth form if a child comes in on a 7 what grade do they usually achieve at the end. Here is a pdf from Cambridge that tracks the GCSE results to A levels, this is 2021-2023 but there are previous years too, specifically from page 11 onwards where it gives you the percentages, ie for English Language if they got an 8 or above for GCSE then only 29% got an A or A star.

http://cambridgeassessment.org.uk/Images/735630-144.-progression-from-gcse-to-a-level-2021-2023.pdf

This might be the point to look far ahead at university entry grades and know that they are the minimum they take applicants in on. If their entry is A star AA they are looking for candidates predicted higher than that. You have to see the bigger picture.

Plus on the day of the actual GCSEs if people do better than her, those whose parents pay tens of thousands for their child's education, then her grade drops down due to the applied bell curve. It doesn't matter how well she does in a bubble, she is competing against the entire country cohort and they may outperform her. This is why grade boundaries move every year and worth looking at previous years to see how tight some of them are marks wise across 2 or 3 papers.

What are their plans and what is important to them?

dd2 watched her sister get so stressed over exams (personality rather than parental pressure) and decided that for her GCSEs she would do just enough work to get the grades she needed and not stress.

she breezed through her GCSEs with zero stress, came out with the bunch of 5s and 6s with no revision and went on to do what she wanted at college where she is working hard and excelling.

a 7 is a good grade. I wouldn’t stress too much tbh. It’s their life and their future and they need to find a way of working that works for them.

You said she needs a 7 for the next stage? And she got a 7

I worked my little cotton socks off and I got 9 A*s at GCSE. I remember being incredibly stressed. My mental health suffered. I lost weight. I stopped doing some hobbies. I only needed Bs in the subjects I wanted to do an A level.

Again, did my A levels and worked hard on them to the detriment of everything else. I got 4 As. I lost more weight and my mental health was appalling. I had no hobbies at all. I only needed ABB for my Uni subject

No one at uni cares about your GCSEs. After Uni, no one cares about your A levels. Only your most recent qualification matters, put together with how you interview. Are you a rounded and interesting person? (I wasn't - wonder why?!)
I wish someone had explained that to me. Do enough to get to the next stage. Be good enough, not perfect and be happy.

Maybe your daughter needs to do a bit more work to guarantee 7 or above. But just because she'd be capable of a 9, doesn't necessarily mean it's a sensible thing to prioritise.

I am similar to the first part of @Weepingwillows12 , I always said I expected 100% effort from our DC's (you don't have to be the smartest, but you have to be the hardest working). I should add this was from school day 1, not when he got to GCzSE's.
This was tested because DS was bright, he tended to rely on his brains. So we changed the rule. He does it his way, but we expect top marks ( above 90%) or he does it our way. I was always conscious that at some point he would hit his ceiling and I wanted him to be prepared.
This seemed to satisfy both sides. The end result, extremely smart person with a 1st and a Ph,D in an extremely complex subject, from one of the best universities in the world.

My son missed out on two of his preferred unis because of his GCSEs. They absolutely do matter if you are going for a competitive uni course. He even has 3 A star predictions.

We absolutely did have some words after his GCSEs. He did well, but absolutely could have done better.

I never focus on the grade only the effort. If they got a 7/8 with no work, I would say you could have done better if you had tried. I don't see why everyone says a 7 is great with no effort. If you've got a child who got a 3 with no work, you would be rightly annoyed and encourage them to work and get a pass. And everyone on here would tell you to!

I have 3 very different children academically. I have always had to focus on effort. Luckily their school also gave effort grades on the report, which is what I would focus on. My youngest is predicted all 9s at GCSE and has worked hard for that - finally. However until the end of Y10 he was coasting and we had many chats about effort. My middle one hasn't worked as hard as she could and it will reflect in the grades but she is the type to beat herself up when she gets the grades so I won't be saying anything. My eldest worked very hard for 5/6s and a 7 in Maths, which we were very very proud of and celebrated massively.

Resting on your laurels is not a good look for anyone and neither does it train you for life.

A 7 is very good. I’d say great job and that would be pretty much it. Not everyone needs to be top, whether they are capable or not. I’m sure I could have done better at school but I didn’t work hard enough. No amount of whatever was going to make me work harder. My sister was very studious and consequently did much better. So what? She was innately more driven to do well.
I have one child who if anything studies too much. Three A stars and 50/50 EPQ. I didn’t have to say a word.
My other barely seemed to know what a text book was. No amount of support, cajoling, actual bribing, made any difference. He just wasn’t going to do it. Now give him a physical challenge and he’s there. He’s super disciplined about work and working out.
So while even working hard he’d potentially could have got 5s and 6s at GCSE, he didn’t. Because it’s not his nature.
Yes your child may have amazing ‘potential’ but may not have the drive or discipline or want the pressure to reach it. As long as they are satisfied with their efforts and achievements let it go. If they are disappointed then ask them how they think you can support them in the future. But she’s got to do it for herself, not to please you.

@DurhamNo Durham is an interesting institution. I have known Durham.decline applicants who have received Oxbridge offers.

In the case of the op, if the young person has almost got an 8 on little or no work, they can pull their finger out and get the 9 for the actual GCSE. Ultimately, it's the raw intelligence that matters and I know many young people who have worked their socks off and won all the stars at GCSE only to crash and burn at A'Level or degree, as soon as the requirement for independent critical thinking ramps up.

Neither of mine cleared the board with stars at GCSE. They both cleaned up at A'Level/IB and brought home firsts from Oxford and Cambridge respectively. DH got a couple of Cs and Bs at O'Level, again it didn't stop him from taking an Oxford first and becoming a relatively young QC.

In any event, why and how do you have that much information from Durham? I think they refused one of mine - I just remember the no. Thankfully they both avoided hours and hours on the train to Newcastle for a social life.

Different people learn differently. I just never got the point of revision, I learned the principles properly and applied them in exams. Sitting taking endless notes and reading/rereading them made no sense to me. I did do lots of past papers to understand the exam format and question types but didn’t revise previously taught material.

Not everyone needs to revise in the traditional sense of the word, and if she’s got good grades without then I’d be happy for her. If she’s needs to adopt a different strategy for A levels she has time to figure that out. I’m interested in the “must give 100%” parents, do they also always give 100% in every aspect of their work?