Thread 18 - TalkLair: "That's no moon. It's a space station!"

[RasaSayangEh]

(Previous thread 17)

We've had our heatwave - is this it for the summer? All is lush and green in our LairGarden, flowers are blooming, berries are ripening...

In the TalkLair, all the windows are open, the Pimms is chilled, the MN massive salad is ready to serve. The denizens of the lair are a welcoming bunch, always eager for general chit-chat on all manner of topics. We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

How awful, Sinner.

I don't remember anything official on reproduction at junior school, but we had free range on research projects and presentations and I know at least a couple of us in my class covered it. I'd had books on it in my science bookshelf for as long as I can remember.

At senior school in first year the girls were all pulled aside for the period talk and free tampon samples, then it was covered a few times in PSCE lessons between then and the end of GCSCs. One of the lessons involved a contraception quiz that I aced, thanks to MaBint doing the typesetting for Planned Parenthood and regularly bringing home copies of the newsletter for proofreading.

I'm about the same age as @Britinme (left school in 1969) and there was definitely no sex education at school. I looked it up and it seems it wasn't introduced until the early 70s, which reminds me of the immortal words of Philip Larkin in Annus Mirabilis:

"Sexual intercourse began
In nineteen sixty-three
(which was rather late for me) -
Between the end of the Chatterley ban
And the Beatles' first LP."

We had a slightly baffling sex ed session in primary. There was one of those blackboards that was actually a dark green roller blind type thing on legs - very avant garde at the time. The headteacher stood behind it so we could only see his legs from the knee down and drew strange diagrams of sperm and eggs on the side facing us, then spun the bard round so the drawings faced us (but were the wrong way up) and told us about tails and bottoms. It set back my anatomical knowledge years!

I find myself agreeing with most of the things listed!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5398340-hyped-up-activities-that-are-actually-shite?

Sex ed - for Leaving Cert in convent school the girls who did biology got the nuts and bolts version from a two-volume textbook produced by the Christian Brothers, but we also had an English textbook, less detailed (it was O Level) that gave a summary account of contraceptive methods (the only thing legally available was the pill, and even discussing the topic was officially discouraged, but that wasn't stopping Miss D).

The girls who did Home Economics used Derek Llewellyn Jones' Everywoman and emerged very impressed with the complexity and power of their female bodies.

The most detailed info, not immediately understandable to naive me, warning about 'heavy petting' and the possibility of pregnancy without penetration, the treacherous fertility of young bodies, how to seek help in case of incestuous or familial abuse, which agencies gave support in the case of crisis pregnancy, came from the religion teacher. She didn't use a textbook.

Since we bought our own books they all went home and were accessible beyond the classroom.

Yoga, just no.

I tried yoga for a term when I was a student and it really was uninspiring. Same with jogging, all that happened was that I got shouted at by creepy blokes. Yes, and any performative celebrations, hate them.

Camping, particularly camping in England. Extra woe points for camping in England with a man who brings a guitar.

😅

Just remembered something from years ago. A woman I knew told me about her friend persuading to go to a chanting session, which she afterwards described as 'middle-class wank'. Good phrase, that.

Got dressed for work, put on my little touch of make-up, earrings, etc... Before I set off, went to put a fallen apple into the compost bin... felt/heard a splattering noise on my head and arm... looked down at my arm and there was a spray of brown liquid.

Yep, I was shat on by a magpie. My hair and my blouse. It bloody reeked, as well.

Straight back in the shower, blouse, make-up, earrings included.

FFS.

It's supposed to be lucky.

The day can only improve from here on in, Rasa! We have loads of them around here. And I swear, magpies seem to be much bigger than they were when I was a kid.

Perhaps my premium bonds will come in this month!

I feel like the smell of magpie poo is now lodged in my nostrils. Monochromatic fuckers.

I've been experimenting with making 'actual' beer on the cooker hob, like I do the parsnip stout, rather than in the old boiler. It is a lot less faff, cleaning out the boiler before and after is quite a business, and it invloves man-handling large bags of soaking wet, boiling hot grains, weighing around 15 kg. Which is fine right now, but I can't help thinking, am I still going to feel up to doing this safely in a few more years time? On the hob I'm doing half the quantity, a 7.5 litre nominal size rather than 15 litres. The issue is maintaining temp control, but I suppose you could draw an anology with jam-making: do you jam-makers use a thermometer in the process? Anyway, I've found maintaining a stable temp of 65 deg a lot easier than I expected, and results have been good so far.

Come to Maine. No magpies here. I miss them actually - I brought my (then) 11 year old granddaughter to the UK for ten days a couple of years ago and she was quite excited to see them.

Urgh! My sympathies, Rasa. A gull got me once, but at least it missed the hair so was a bit easier to wash off.

Moto, I sometimes use a jam thermometer and sometimes just go by the 'risen up 3 times' method. But that's more about reaching a specific temperature than holding it. However, when I used to make cosmetics I had to hold cocoa butter at 70°C for 20 mins, which is more like what you're attempting and it is doable on a hob with a thermometer. You'll probably find you need to stand over it the whole time though. I recommend a roasting thermometer with the probe on a cable, rather than a jam one or the short probe type that has the readout panel directly on the testing spike. The latter 2 tend to steam up and are much harder to read.

It's easier than you might think to maintain temp .Maybe because it's a relatively large amount of liquid: maintaining 10 litres at temp is going to be easier than maintaining one litre IYSWIM. Once it gets to temp, I can set the hob to "1", and it'll hold it nicely.

I have always found magpies pretty sociable and well-mannered birds, so let's give him the benefit of the doubt as he was probably not aiming at you! Gulls, on the other hand, are bastards.

Not all magpies, apparently: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/gardening/5396916-gang-of-delinquent-magpies

sympathy from me too Rasa, as another defecated on by a large bird (gull, Whitby, 2003)

I also use a probe on a wire as a jam thermometer and it’s very reliable.

Ha! I've only read the OP, but it sounds to me as though she has annoyed one of them in some way and they have returned with back-up!

My favourite magpie (named Gazza, because magpie is Garsa in Catalan) was a splendid chap who would supervise me hanging out the laundry and generally behaved like part of the family. He was a lone wolf corvid, though, perhaps because he had almost no tail-feather. We miss him. The current one is much less sociable.

There are magpies aplenty here but they seem unusually fond of walking and only fly when they need to (they’re the only birds that hop up the garden steps rather than flying) which I guess reduces the chances of getting shat on. I have been shay on by a seagull though. I was not pleased.

Hope your day improved from its poor start, Rasa!

Good luck with your beer, moto. I once made some from scratch, but it wasn't very drinkable, not completely undrinkable, just meh.

Sorry to hear of the magpie guano, Kuc! I can confirm tha the gull version is rank; I'm sure I've mentioned my incident. On my head and motorbike tank. There was some blue paper in the gutter, which I did my best to clean up with.

By the time I got home, the paint on the tank was discoloured and after a few days, I dumped the helmet, as the stink wouldn't come out of the lining!

I've been shat on by birds a couple of times. The worst was a pigeon where the shit landed in the cleft of my nose. That was in the 70s and I'm still grossed out by the memory. The other time it was one of a flock of birds that flew over but that time the shit landed on my jacket rather than on skin. I'm a bit squeamish and gagged the time a friend's guinea pig pissed on my leg.

Oh god at the very thought of caustic gull poo 🤮 @SinnerBoy @NoBinturongsHereMate

Good news here, after an anxious week in which DH and I were secretly fretting that places would fill up, DD1 went to enrol at her first choice college and she is IN! So that's both DDs in their preferred schools, doing their choice of A-levels.

All is forgiven, shitty magpie!

Whew! That's excellent news, @RasaSayangEh! There must have been another magpie nearby ... one for sorrow, two for joy and all that.

This morning the bricklayers have finally turned up to rebuild the neighbour's garden wall, destroyed by a car a mere 7 weeks ago. MrG & I went past and I commented that the new bricks were very lovely and would make the rest of the wall look like crap. At this, the brickie laughed and replied "Don't worry! We're really shit bricklayers, so the new bit will look fucking awful too!"

Fortunately he judged his audience well!