Should people be entitled to divorce leave?

[mids2019]

I work in the NHS and obviously people split up/divorce during the course of their working lives. There seems to be some unwritten rule that if for instance a partner is discovered having an affair the person goes off work for 3-6 months with stress. I don't know if I'm reality the leave is for stress or just for the obvious depressive effects of a breakdown and the need to attend to a huge amount of life admin.

We get carers leave, maternity leave etc.but should we have policies on long term relationship break up leave simply to not have staff have to go through clinical diagnoses of stress and hence illness?. Just a thought because as I see it there are basically unwritten policy any way with these things.

My work gifts an extra week of leave as a wedding present, which is a nice way to mark a happy event. I do not agree they should do the same for divorce leave, some people would just take the piss!

Absolutely not, life throws up many stresses. Who are you or a government policy to judge which is more stressful? Your Dad's cancer diagnosis, your teenage DD pregnancy scare, your pets death, the suicide of an ex boyfriend, a failed IVF cycle.. I could go on and on. Also I suspect the day your partner finds out about your affair is a stressful time too, should leave be extended to those having affairs too?

I‘m clearly living in a parallel universe. I was cheated on and divorced and while it was a traumatic event, surviving on 3-6 months sick pay would have created more problems.

Difficult events happen in life and if death of a parent leads to say a week, I’m not sure that divorce leave should be 3-6 months. People would take it even if the split was mutual and the person who ended the marriage could use that time as a “honeymoon “ with the affair partner.

What do you do when you’re at home though? Although saying that, I was in a boring admin job when I went through my break up. Had I been working in front line mental health I wouldn’t have been able to pull through each day as easily. That said, a colleague of mine who is a nurse, has had her husband just go missing, disappear with no explanation, but clearly alive, on social media, and she hasn’t missed one shift. People cope with things in different ways.

Good points. I’m a firm believer that routine helps, however grim the circumstance.

I have been at the brink of despair on several occasions. On one such I would come home, cook my children tea and do all the routine. Then sit in a chair stock still looking out the garden until I could sleep again.

Yes, you seek support. GP, counselling, friends and family. But you have to get up and go, and work enables that purpose.

I work in finance and despite there having been lots of (often nasty) divorces, I don’t know anyone who has taken any sick leave for them.

Yes because everyone would love to spend 10k to get a divorce just for a week or so off 🫤

I’ve been divorced twice never had time off , had two weeks off with a knee replacement, and apart from being sent home when I had Covid I dont think I’ve had a day off ever , in 35 years of working I just sat and thought I’ve never rung in sick once , even though sometimes I really don’t want to go or I’ve had enough!! I just get on with it and carry on . I had four kids under five all grown up and they just carry on and go to their jobs ( very successful as well ) I’m in a majority I suppose that as Beautiful South sang … carry on regardless

I have been working for 35 years and never known anyone to take 6 months off to get divorced. Is this honestly common in the NHS?

I ger one day off for moving house. It doesn't have to be the day of the actual move.

@ChocolateGanacheno it’s not. I’ve never known it.

Absolutely not. The country needs to grow a backbone.

Having said that in EXTREME extenuating cases e.g. divorce leads to full blown mental breakdown / loss of children/ homelessness/ attempted suicide then yes someone would need to take time off work.

No, I don’t think so.

If we’re talking about things people are entitled to take leave for though, I think parental bereavement leave is woefully short, and I imagine almost always results in people being signed off sick for longer.