Is the worry of men getting 50/50 in court ,making women stay in abusive relationships

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Just from reading some threads on here , it made me think ,how awful it must be to know your in an abusive relationship,but then also know if you leave he can go for 50/50,.
Do the courts listen to the woman,in this situation?
I can't imagine an abusive husband would make a great father ,mine certainly didn't,thank goodness I only had to go every other weekend.
When did it become normal for men to get 50/50

I only have experience of being a child of a divorce ,and 50/50 would of been a disaster for me

@5050canwormkwell this my experience from the people I know who do 50/50 too. The kids are all very happy and well rounded, the parents communicate well and attend things together with the kids, there is no fighting about money or resentment due to one parent taking the piss etc. I think this should be the goal for all separated families and I am glad it’s becoming the norm. It goes without saying g that it won’t be possible or healthy in every case of course, but it’s far better than putting 80% of childcare on the mother’s shoulders as a default.

I divorced 36 years ago. Our DC did 50/50 almost from the beginning.

That was not my experience
I had a camp bed in the lounge ,and nowhere of my own to put my things .
Dad had remarried a woman with 3 DC and moved in to her home ,so I was on the camp bed in the lounge .
It was court ordered I had to go .
Impossible trying to sleep with adults watching TV

That's all well and good ,when both parents equally buy what the child needs ,not one parent being the one to only put their hand in their pocket .
I love all the people on here saying 50/50 works well ..
Yet none have experienced it as a child , moving between homes , between families,it fucked my head up .from 14 to 17 that was my experience .
Both parents remarried with 3 siblings in one house and two in the other house .
Absolute nightmare for me ,they hated me ,and since I left home to go to university never saw any of the step siblings I was forced to share a bedroom with ever again.

@5050canwormkwell If your 2 houses are bought you are either high earners or have inherited money. I can assure you very few people with a young family csn buy 2 houses in the same area. Look at London prices. Or even the SE - it’s simply not possible. 1 house has yo be divided amongst two adults and the sums rarely work out unless both partners are high earning or have inherited wealth.

Judges are trained in law. It is not up to female judges to side with women. They are not fools and have many years of legal experience to be a judge. Some magistrates who hear family cases are not trained to the same extent in family law and they are more likely to be less diligent. However I’m not aware of most family court judges being unsuitable. It’s actually a ludicrous assertion.

From what I understand your parents didn't have 50-50 though? I also did say that it won't be possible or healthy in every case, in yours it wouldn't have been because your dad wasn't a good parent to say the least. That doesn't mean that it shouldn't be something to strive for with other families though, families where both parents are capable and loving. It is and has to be something that is considered in every family where the parents are separating, but ultimately it's a good thing that parents share the care equally in more cases because that shows that there are more healthy separated family dynamics out there than there isn't and it shouldn't be that the mother, by default, is expected to take on the lion's share because that is how it's always been done.

Whether you can afford to buy two houses in the same area surely depends as well on how expensive the area is. If it's not an epecially expensive area in the first place, and you hadn't bought the most expensive house possible on both your salaries, then there's no reason to think both families can't afford to live nearby after divorce.

Why are you asking when 50/50 became the norm if you had 50/50 with your dad?
And if you didn’t and had every other weekend with a shit dad I’m not sure how that’s relevant to 50/50 being a starting point for most families now?

Both parents remarried with 3 siblings in one house and two in the other house .
Absolute nightmare for me ,they hated me ,and since I left home to go to university never saw any of the step siblings I was forced to share a bedroom with ever again.

You are letting your own family setup cloud your judgment here. In what way would not seeing your father and only being with your mother, who remarried, be better if you didn’t have a bond with either?

@5050canwormkwell That was my point but when people only have, say, 20% equity in a fairly expensive house in the SE or London it won’t stretch to 2 houses nearby and this means either both parents need to be high earning or one or both parents need to move away or compromise on size of property. This is frequently a barrier to 50:50 in expensive housing areas. The money and logistics don’t add up and parents have to compromise on one family house and somewhere not very suitable or miles away.