Would you leave an exclusively breastfed 7 month old for two nights?

[ukaway]

I booked a weekend away for DP & I a while ago. DD will be 7 months old, she’s breastfed & I’ve only been away from her once for around 12 hours, where I left her with DP and she was fine.

She’s 4 months old at the moment & whilst I’ve been looking forward to it, as it’s getting closer I’m starting to dread being away from her. She’s very cautious around anyone who is not me or DP & often works herself up crying if either of our families even try to interact with her.

I could really do with getting away and I’ve paid quite a bit but the thought of her being unsettled has left me feeling it would be selfish of me to go. We’d be leaving around lunchtime on the Friday & returning on the Sunday afternoon, it’s a 3 hour drive each way.

I’m could change the dates, although I’d have to pay an additional £300 I believe. I’m not even sure if she’d be a bit more settled in 3 months time & on solids too. I think if I knew that she was happy being looked after, I’d be able to relax myself.

Would you go in these circumstances?

She'll be fine - she'll be starting on solids by then so it will be a different ball game. I had to leave my dd for 2 nights at 7 months to have an operation (and couldn't feed for 3 as the anaesthetic was still in my system). She absolutely refused a bottle before that, but quickly realised it was bottle or nothing (plus food). She continued to feed till 16 months. The only downside was waking up in hospital at 7am with horribly painful boobs, so don't forget your pump!

I went away for one night, for work, when my first was 7 months old. I had literally just gone back to work the week before and had an overnight trip sprung on me without warning. It went OK but I had to pump quite a lot and I was glad it was only one night. Also, my baby was with his dad so I knew he would be just fine.

I don't think there's anything wrong with going away for two nights without your baby if you are feeling up to it. However, if you don't feel ready I would just take your baby with you rather than cancelling the trip. Like you say, you and your partner can take turns to go to the spa etc. It won't be quite the break you had planned, but it will still be nice to get away.

Presumably you have already arranged childcare for your stepson. I think it's OK not to bring him.

I wouldn’t (my ebf son is 7 months) he won’t reliably take a bottle and barely eats food. Also, I feel like he’d just be a lost lamb without me and me without him. I think because of the BF we are literally joined at the hip so not sure either of us would cope.

I'd seriously consider taking your baby then. I have step-kids too and while I'd never leave them out of a family holiday they'd enjoy, taking a breastfeeding baby on a trip designed for adults is different. If you needed to explain to your stepson (and I wouldn't make a big thing of it unless he asks) the baby needs to come with you to get her food but could stay with him/grandparents/whoever is doing the looking after when she is bigger.

If the weekend away is for you and your partner who would be looking after her? You say she's not happy with anyone else so no I definitely wouldn't leave her with people she's not happy with. Could you go alone and DP stay home with her if you really need a break? Or take her but not step son and have DP do something just him and SS at another time.

Mine was solely BF at 7 months and ate barely anything so I wouldn't rely on her filling up on food. It was more just exploration (and a lot of refusal!) at that age for us.

No .

Think your supply will dip. You wont be able to relax. She won't settle at night and the person looking after her will find it stressful. Also at 7 months, they don't tend to eat enough of solids to actually be full.

Unless you are planning to stop breast feeding before I don’t think you can. I had one night away from my ebf and was awake at 4.00am pumping (even though I had pumped the night before) in agony. I just couldn’t pump enough to stay confortable. I would definitely not recommend it!

No. Swollen boobs were awful. And I missed my baby. That was only 26 hours. The last four were horrendous.

As long as the baby reliably takes bottles and is comfortable with another caregiver you would be fine to leave.
The only requirement would be to take a breast pump for your own comfort to stop engorgement. It is unlikely you’ll suffer a continued dip in supply especially after nursing for 7 months.

I left my first at about 13 weeks with his dad for 3 nights as I had a pre-booked bachelorette in Miami. I pumped when I was gone and had no issues picking back up when I got home.

As long as you’re happy to go then there are no reasons why you shouldn’t!

You could just take the baby with you. A 5 year old is more likely to enjoy a trip to a farm park/beach/zoo with the ice cream, something in the gift shop etc than a spa trip, which you can do another weekend. It would still be relaxing with a baby who naps, it would not be with a baby and 5 year old

I would say the biggest thing isn't the bf it will be whether you feel comfortable leaving her at that point, if you do then the bf can be worked around. My DM had my ds1 from 7 months overnight so I could get at least one good night's sleep and get stuff done during the day. He took bottles of expressed milk fine, but he also was on 3 solid meals a day by that point (he was one greedy baby!). One thing I will say is that ime my kids were totally different with other people than me so although at home they had to be bf to sleep when other people put them to bed they were fine not be bf. However my ds2 would not take a bottle at all, so I didn't leave him with anyone (unless it was less than 2 hours) until he was 15 months.

If you do leave her, make sure you take a breast pump as you will need to express if you want to feel physically comfortable over the 2 days, it doesn't matter if you just chuck the milk, you need to be able to get it out! Also even if it did reduce your supply a bit (and it might make no difference), you will probably be able to get it back up with frequent feeds when you get back.

I think as long as I feel comfortable being away from my baby for that period of time then I would go. But I appreciate that you won't really know that until it's time for your weekend away, but I think I would go and if the worst came to the worst and my baby wouldn't settle/was too distressed/wouldn't take a bottle then I would just come home. Don't feel bad about whatever you decide.

I forgot to put in my reply that with the expressing, when I was away from ds1 I pumped every 4-5 hours because I was so uncomfortable by that length of time, so maybe the difference between maintaining supply or supply decreasing is to do with the number of expressing sessions you do. I probably expressed for 10-15 mins each time.

I don't think it would hit your supply particularly at 7 months - having said that, mine was very strong so maybe that's just me.

I think the bigger issue is that your baby isn't comfortable being looked after by anyone else and hasn't been - it's a lot to expect of that friend/family member to look after a screaming unhappy baby for a whole weekend

Tbh I don't think you can get a useful response here as everyone is so different and babies are all so different.

I personally wouldn't have left any of my three children at 7 months for that long (unless it was unavoidable - before people quote me and say they had to go away for work etc, of course that's different).

That being said:

• My first was formula fed at that age and was very close to my DM, also slept through the night. So I think she would have likely been ok to have been left with my DM (in this theoretical scenario).
• My second was mostly breastfed but did have a few formula bottles a week happily. He was very sociable and chilled BUT used to wake twice a night to be breastfed. I think he would have been distressed overnight if left with anyone else because of that.
• My third is just a little older, wakes constantly overnight, usually wanting to be breastfed, and still only reluctantly takes small bottle feeds when I'm away for a few hours. He's also not super well bonded to any adults except me and DH and has recently started getting a bit of separation anxiety and stranger anxiety. He wouldbe distressed if left that long/overnight with anyone else.

Sorry OP.

If you can get her to take a bottle by then, maybe, but personally I’d never have done it. I never felt happy leaving my babies for more than a couple of hours now and then.

I know others feel differently, though. A (non Brit) friend went away with her dh for a month when her first was just 4 weeks old!

It was usual at the time in that culture, though, for babies and young children to be left with grandparents for long periods.

I think @LegoHouse274 has basically nailed it.
Whatever you do, your baby will be fine with a trusted babysitter BUT how fine exactly depends on the baby.
DD was super attached to me at that age and no one (except maybe dad if she felt like it) could even hold her, let alone babysit and do an overnight. Even at two and a half she essentially sleeps through but still wakes up and calls for me to check I’m still there. But I wouldn’t feel the same stress as I would have back then because she understands more and can be verbally communicated with.
If I’d had one of those happy to go to anyone, sleeps through, very chilled babies I probably would have.
Maybe start with a night where you are home and can go collect as a practice to see how you feel and how it goes?

I didn't leave my breastfed dcs at that age. At 7m they get the majority of nutrients from milk. I think I'd maybe have considered it if she was left with her dad but it would have been unfair for us both to go, as in our case she had never got used to being looked after by other adults overnight. We had some lovely trips away as a family in good quality family hotels (with childcare services) - that was enough to give us a bit of a break but not having to leave her for days.

No, I wouldn’t unless it was necessary for a medical procedure or something. It’s not long they’re a baby.

I wouldn’t. I don’t think it’s fair on them.

I did have a hospital stay with a six month old, but DH brought him in to feed. It was exhausting but worth it to us.

You still have 3 months to go, and a lot can change... it could be fine, and a decision you'll probably have to make at the last minute. Bear in mind at 7 months their main source is still milk, they're not eating enough to stay full. If she won't take a bottle by then I wouldn't leave her. (That's just me!)

No I couldn’t have left any of mine at 7 months when they were exclusively breastfed, none of them would take a bottle. Most don’t eat much in the way of solid food at that age, it can be very little that actually makes it in the mouth! Whoever is looking after them could end up with a very hungry and upset baby. I’d either take them with me or move the trip back a good few months. I left one of mine at 12 months still breastfeeding but would drink a bit of cows milk and was eating quite well. It was only one night though / 24 hours and I was desperate to feed when I got back, so full even though I had pumped a bit.

I see what you mean, the mention of bottles and formula made me think more combi fed but clearly she isn’t. Personally I’d rearrange or take with. I left my bf baby at 13.5 months for 2 nights but he had been at nursery for a month by then and was with grandparents who he’d seen weekly since birth and happily had cows milk from a cup. Maybe 7 months is that little bit too young

Only if she took the bottle well and with a practice run.

Can you take her with you and pay for a babysitter or bring a friend with you? I've done that recently as my daughter won't take a bottle and although the trip wasn't as relaxing it was nice to be able to go out for dinner and a show but feel relaxed that my baby isn't far away.

Personally I wouldn't because none of mine have been great sleepers at that age, and I didn't have anyone who I knew would be willing to be up in the middle of the night with them. But plenty of people do go away fine. My mother in law was having my nephews (twins, formula fed) overnight from about 6 weeks old.

Can you see how you feel closer to the time?
Also make sure you consistently offer the bottle or you'll likely find she goes off it.