Your non-negotiable rules for your wellbeing / feeling good?

[FullyLined]

I am currently on a relaxing AI holiday for 10 days with time, headspace and access to any food and drink 24/7. This has given me opportunity to exercise in the morning, and eat and drink healthily, slow down my brain and finally all the things that serve me well are coming into focus. None are new but become sporadic when I am back to real life. So, I am typing them up now and will print out when I get back and place strategically around the house. Happy to share mine here, but looking for inspiration from others, what rules do you stick by to make sure you feel good, physically and mentally?

Lone parent to a small child with a stressful full time job and 1.5hr commute 2-3 x a week.

I have a cleaner once a week, that means I get my time back on a weekend and can maintain the house easily in between.

I do hypnosis videos on YouTube each night as I fall asleep, I feel like I'm taking care of myself without having to be conscious.

I just bought a sun lounger for the garden, and make sure that on days I work from home, that I take a 20 minute break to relax and read outside.

I also indulge in posh shower gel so that I have a few minutes luxury each evening.

Sleep and reading.
I am also not reacting to my DH, which sounds a bit mad. He is of southern European descent and has a "light the blue touch paper" temper. I am old (and exhausted) enough to know that I really cannot react to every single moment he is offended (we've been together over 30 years). At first he found it very frustrating, now he finds it mildly irritating. Hoping he eventually realises that I am not his emotional support animal!

Not working f/t and having dc in school. Just gives me much needed headspace & peace!

And I feel really good when I spend time with family, friends and DH so prioritise my relationships. It means I can't fit in as much exercise as pre dc but I try and walk lots.

Work part time
Eat lots of fruit and veg
Prioritise fitness
Spend time with friends

My horses
Massively expensive time and money sink and endless source of vet bills and stress. But they enable me to be a productive tax paying member of society and functioning wife and mum rather than a gibbering basket case. It’s a need not a want.

I see a therapist once a week.
Lots of fruit and veg, avoid upfs where I can.
Run twice a week - am trying to incorporate more exercise but my plate is v full.
Walk often - I’m increasing my step count
Gardening and my allotment- having my hands in the earth is very grounding for me.
Polyvagal theory! I’ve taught myself to breathe deeply and pay attention to what my nervous system is doing.

My life is highly imperfect but I’m happier than I’ve ever been and feel positive about the future.

Sounds a bit… shit?

I've got no kids and recently dropped to a 4 day week. I also work hybrid, which in reality means I'm only in the office 1-2 days a week, meaning the other 5-6 days of the week are pretty flexible. I can wake up at 6am (my standard wake up time) and have a whole 3 hours to play with before I need to start working, and can head to the gym after work too.
I recognise it's not the norm.

Sleep and rest (not the same thing). I’ve had a mild form of chronic fatigue for over 20 years and it’s taken me a while to work out what makes it worse.

I can’t go out a number of evenings in a week, so I put rest days and rest evenings in my diary. If I look through the diary and I have a lot on I might book a day off work.

I don’t function well on less than 9 hours of sleep, so plan for that too. Early starts are worse for me so for work I go up the day before and stay over.

Most importantly for travel I don’t do early flights or trains. Sometimes this makes it more expensive, but otherwise the first few days of the holiday can be a write off.

Work outs are balanced - I know now how much I can do without it causing a flare up, and doing more or less than usual can cause problems, so again it’s careful diary management.

Finally my work commute - never more than 30 mins as a regular commute by whatever means (train / walk / drive). I do work hybrid now, but if I needed to go in full time the commute is manageable.

No idea how people get 8/9 hrs of sleep if they are working, have young dc doing activities, cook from scratch, eat together, workout, spend time with loved ones!, etc!

Good quality food - high protein and high fibre and trying to meet my 5 a day (don’t always make it but that’s the goal). I feel crap when I eat crap.

Strength training 4-5x a week, plus daily walks and some cardio if I can fit it in. Love yoga too but don’t often have time.

Early nights as I like to get 8 hours sleep. Reading before bed is a favourite too.

I need to go away with my DP, just us, once a year. For our holiday we can smoke, drink, party, eat utter shit (finders crispy pancakes and kebab) and be immature. We had kids young and a I don’t regret it, but I need my week off.

Also I need my coffee brought to me in bed on days it’s not my morning to get up with the kids. It just sets me up nicely for the day.

Saying no if it's not a "yes!"

Trusting my intuition. It always, always knows.

Having a clear line about what I find acceptable and what I'm not prepared to tolerate.

Moving my body every single day: yoga, walking or swimming. Generally more than one of the former each day.

Investing in Future Me - not a company - the actual Future version of me.

Go to bed at 10pm and get up at 6am? Are you really on the go until past 10pm every day?

As much as possible: consistent bed/wake times, nap if needed
Using a sunlight clock.
Realising I'm a morning person and working my day around that.
Get up and do yoga/weights and meditation every morning.
Coffee in the morning, green or herbal tea in the afternoon.
Healthy, real food with enough protein.
Walking and getting outside.
Meeting up with friends.
Reading, music...

Go to bed at 10pm and get up at 6am?

I get up at 6am on the days I go to work.

Are you really on the go until past 10pm every day?

No but I often am & I definitely would be if I was trying to fit all the things I mentioned in. I defo can't just jump into bed & sleep now as I still have a few things to do.

I am far from perfect. But I prioritise my health, and am fortunate to have older children so more time.

1. Walk in nature every day. This includes family walks at weekend which will typically take priority over other things (usually we can do both though)!
2. Run 6 days a week.
3. Prioritize sleep above social commitments. Which means if say at the weekend something will interfere with being able to a) stay up late-ish with hubby plus b) getting 8+ hrs sleep then the answer is no (unless it is a huge event like a wedding or international relative visiting)

We’ve maintained this lifestyle for over a decade and we can see it keeps us at a very happy place. It also benefits our children and builds in quality family time/chats.

• Living somewhere quiet and green with birds, animals etc but still sociable with easy access to community and events
• Daily outdoors time, challenges like climbing mountains
• Reading out in the sun by the pool once a week
• Weekly sauna
• Sleeping a high quality 8h, always
• Weightlifting
• Dancing
• Eating wholefoods most of the time
• Regular salon visits for pampering and chatter
• Socialising several times a week
• Going to the office in person regularly - staring at a screen alone at home makes me feel isolated
• Limited screen time outside of working hours, especially at night, replaced by reading
• Early Saturday morning workouts
• Lazy Sunday mornings with a coffee and newspaper on the terrace
• Culture (theatre, museums, books etc) very regularly

My mum had a list like that. I thought it was cringe but she was right all along and ahead of her time.

Two more from me… complimenting people!

When someone has done something nice for others, or simply looks lovely, I’ve noticed it makes me feel better to verbalise it, I always regret if I don’t.

Watching someone’s face melt into a smile and them going ‘awww, that’s the nicest thing I’ve heard in a while’ is lovely. I only say it when I mean it though.

And hugging. Me and my best friend hug 3 times a day when we’re together. I hug everyone who I know also enjoys it, sometimes we hold each other as long as a minute with one of my close friends who I don’t see that often.

Feel like mine are so low level compared to most of these 🙈🙈

Try and read every day (even just 15mins!)
Everything shower twice a week
Always leave kitchen clean/surfaces clear when I go to bed

That's literally all I manage to stick to with FT work/young DC/family dramas 😭😭😭

Going to try and just add 1 maybe 2 more things tho as I do agree with others that it is important and easily missed

By any chance do you live alone and in twenties or early thirties? Only reason I ask is that this is identical to how I lived when in late twenties and didnt live with my partner (now got two teens under my belt!) @ElleintheWoods

Single, no kids, 35, live alone, work FT.

I didn’t used to live like this in an LTR, my physical and mental health was poor, I thought being single would be miserable.

Turns out I was wrong and I’m in the best mental and physical shape of my life, which IMO are strongly linked.

I completely get that the way I live is not feasible if you have a family/ responsibilities and I admit my life is easy when I speak to friends. Maybe once the kids are older!

I may miss out on positives such as regular physical touch and family interaction (explains my love for community/ strangers/ hugging) but something’s gotta give, eh? I’m not sure if I’d be willing to significantly change my lifestyle to live with a partner, I’d probably need someone who fits with it.

What a great thread!
For me:
Not spending time with people I don’t like.
Fitness Pilates once a week
Dogwalks every day
Reading every day
Making time during the day to decompress and just “be”.
Practising gratitudes regularly
Spending time with my special people.