Your non-negotiable rules for your wellbeing / feeling good?

[FullyLined]

I am currently on a relaxing AI holiday for 10 days with time, headspace and access to any food and drink 24/7. This has given me opportunity to exercise in the morning, and eat and drink healthily, slow down my brain and finally all the things that serve me well are coming into focus. None are new but become sporadic when I am back to real life. So, I am typing them up now and will print out when I get back and place strategically around the house. Happy to share mine here, but looking for inspiration from others, what rules do you stick by to make sure you feel good, physically and mentally?

Consistent sleep times, no late nights. Catch up tv is my friend for that.

@Stillundertheduvet Yes I work full time with school age kids and find time for sleep, exercise and other essential self care (mainly reading for me!). But I am also lucky enough to be a high earner so have a cleaner for lots of hours a week who does lots of domestic stuff for us.

I’m also absolutely brutal about what I don’t spend time on. I never iron, for example, or do any kind of school/PTA helping out. Or buy a birthday present for the kids’ friends that isn’t a gift card, or cook anything other than a quick meal/reheat on a week night. We do a lot of batch cooking! But basically, I think another important part of self care is prioritising brutally. I don’t waste a second of my time (chatting on mumsnet is obviously essential self care! 😂) and when I hear what some of my friends spend their time doing I think ‘well no wonder you don’t have any time…’

Oh and most importantly: I have a husband who shares the load 50/50, if not doing slightly more than I do as his job isn’t quite as big as mine.

I work full time and have two primary aged kids.
I spend a bit of time every weekend meal planning and organising for the week ahead which helps with everything else - so tedious but just helps me feel vaguely on top of things.
I exercise 4 times per week and I notice the difference in my attitude if I have a bad week.
I eat healthily as much as i can, but prefer an 80/20 rule - I am not giving up roast potatoes and cheese!
DH and I support each other to have proper hobbies - we both have fortnightly music lessons, he goes swimming and I do a dance class.
Other than that, nice clothes, moisturiser, and HRT!

I have none. Hence the breakdown, constant episodes of depression and physical illness every 6 weeks.

The reality of life with a disabled child.

For me laughter helps our in house family pride ourselves in making each other howl with laughter, but it can't be forced you have to work at it!

A clear kitchen surface around coffee making area in the morning sets the day off better I find, such a small thing.

Teen's bags packed the night before.

Never go under a 1/4 tank of petrol in the car, can do most unexpected journeys on that and no stress to fill up.

Reading to feed your mind as well as to escape, so I usually have at least two books on the go, at the moment I have "Last one at the Party" (entertainment) and "Tenement Kid" (Bobby Gillespie's autobiography) - mind.

Taking steps to do things, be who you want to be, rather than just wanting to be.

I want to use the car much less, so have a bike, bit hot at the moment and it's been a long time so not quite at the rucksack shopping list carrying yet, but working towards it so you get in some cardio and also cut out a car journey at the same time.

We have a breadmaker which we use for almost all our bread, still battling with ciabatta, and recently got an ice cream maker, cutting out UPF without compromising on some luxuries for the teens mainly. And for the life of me cannot bake a decent pitta bread consistently.

Not a big fan of fish but it's good for you, so making sure the fish we do eat is oily and well sourced.

And just basically enjoy and accept each day we remain on this one planet we call home. Continuously trying to seek out purpose and enjoyment whilst trying to remove consumerism in the process.

Yes full time working (single mum) with a disabled child.

That is why I have learnt to take the little 10 minutes with a book or whatever when I get the chance because my mental health was in the pits and I was no good to anyone like that.

I don't drink much alcohol, no matter how much I am pressured. The first glass is lovely and I'm happy to stop there.

I need fresh air and exercise most days

I eat decent food - happy to cook, or eat out, or someone else can cook, but I don't do well of burgers and chips. I need lots of fresh veggies.

I've dumped the last two boyfriends for being constantly critical, "you need a new fence", "you need to replace that car", "you need to cook better", you need to buy wine", "you need to buy a bigger tv"......Aaaargh. So no stressy, shallow, freeloading, keep-up-with-the-jones-types.

I have 5 kids and 3 jobs.

I sit and have a hot chocolate in the garden in the dark every evening. My husband can join me but there are no screens allowed.

it’s saves my sanity.

Yoga. I go to a class once a week and it makes such a huge difference. It's almost more of a mental benefit than a physical one. Learning how to let go, how to breathe when things are difficult, being mindful, celebrating the small milestones etc.

Reading. It gets me off my phone and it's good to concentrate on something for an extended period of time.

A consistent bedtime. Unless I am "out out" then it is upstairs at 10pm to do the aforementioned reading and lights out by 11pm.

A daily shower with nice smelling products and then body lotion applied. I don't wash my hair each time and sometimes it's just a two minute thing but it's a moment of self care every day.

Intermittent fasting. It's improved my digestion no end!

At least an hour of downtime each evening. Lamps on, candle lit and music, reading or a good TV programme. Time to just chill out.

At least two gym sessions a week. Yoga before work every other day and one longer session at the weekend. Dark chocolate.

Oh this sounds like something that could be incorporated into anyone's life

Yes, full time working single mum.

I'm just very clear, if I don't eat properly or if I drink too much alcohol. I can't function. So I don't.

And life is much much easier without a man around. Everything runs smoothly.

I drink alcohol maybe four times a year.
9 hours of sleep each night.
Moisturise twice a day.
I have rigorously enforced boundaries.
Afternoon naps

Exercise 5 times a week. 'Nice' things around me - candles, good toiletries, nice handbags. As much sunlight as I can get. Time just chilling with my dog. Read at least one book a week. Only work the hours I'm paid for by having firm boundaries at work.

I was suggesting the same to a stressed friend last week
"what do you like doing on holiday?"
Do more of that at home

A holiday whilst being a break from daily life should also have something you take back with you home to change your life just a little bit.

I got carafes one time we did, basically interrailing around Europe with the teens, not quite because we didn't stay youth hostel but did 5 places in 12 days so on the move a bit. And I loved the drinks from carafe. And the easy outdoor summer eating where you took time to just, talk, drink, relax.

We took that from holiday.

And still incorporate it now. Not all we don't live in Italy or the south of France yet.

No kids and definitely couldn't exercise 5 or 6 days a week and give up alcohol, etc. This is a thread for perfect people.

Or just people talking about what makes them happy

it’s not for you, fair enough

A lot of what's been set up some self set boundaries include:

Balance: if I have a few very busy weeks, I need to follow it by a few quieter weeks- less socialising, more alone time, less appointments etc

Work: I won't work any extra hours except by exception. I don't want overtime to become the norm. If there's a capacity issue, it's for those above my pay grade to solve. I will gekp sort time occasionally only.

Drama/Panic: I refuse to indulge it. I assume things will be fine until their not and will only worry when there's a genuine reason to.

Appointments: I'm very strict with regular health. Smear as scheduled, dentist every six months, opticians every 2 years, doctor when something is off. That way if something every goes wrong, at least I won't have let it drift for too long and hope that it will be caught early and not too bad.

Similar with insurance renewals etc. It just eliminates stress to gave reminders set a month early for everything.

Work out (only just getting back to this 17 months postpartum but it makes such a difference!)
drink enough water
But the one that makes the biggest difference and the one i find the hardest is screen time! Last week I averaged 4 hours a day which was going in the right direction, I want to be closer to 3 which would look like 1 hour social media after DS in bed, 1 hour for WhatsApp and photos during day and then 1 hour for various other life admin that’s on our phones. This week I’m on 5 hours although I have used maps a lot

Need to do some of this stuff. Off work with what seem to be constant minor illnesses, and feel like work is all consuming and I'm.exhausted all,the time. No kids but work ft as I got mortgage late in life and worrying about paying or off and pensions etc.
This is a great thread to make me stop and regroup. Frightening how much time I spemd scrolling which I'm sure doest help my mind..

10 minutes of yoga and weights 4 days a week

2 litres minimum of water a day (I do the 8 second rule which I learned on MN!)

80/20 rule on eating UPFs

moisturise daily

walk the dog daily by myself (me time in nature)

I work FT and have 3 dc.

Healthy diet
No alcohol at all
Protected time to myself
Time for my hobbies, reading and sewing
Lots of sleep
Low tolerance to dickheads

Honestly... mounjaro! Not just weight loss benefits but less pain in general, lighter periods etc.

Other non negotiables are plenty of water I probably drink 3l of plain water a day.

Cup of tea and shower in the silence before everyone else up and I get up earlier to make this happen.

Sunrise clock has been a game changer, so much nicer to wake up to than an alarm.

Finally getting my thyroid stable has been life changing.

"Good food good mood" is my mantra. When I eat better I feel better. Although the mounjaro is helping to make wise food choices aswell.

I try to read most nights but have recently got out of the habit and really miss it. I find it a lot easier to do in winter. I also used to read my kindle in the bath with a glass of wine at least 3 times a week but my kindle broke, possibly due to being in the bath all the time but jts meqnt to be waterproof so who knows!

Sometimes it's having kids that makes you healthier and happier.

On an evening like tonight, (UK mini heatwave) after a long hot day, you can take a frisbee (and a child or two) to the park and throw it about, jumping, squatting, running. Exercise doesn't have to be fitbit monitored it can just be part of life.

Garden, digging, pulling weeds, pruning can be resistance.

Even housework can be a workout.

But throw in a couple of kids and you the options are endless. Or can be.

Sharing oranges makes them, for some reason, much easier to eat as a snack.
Actually any fruit.

I guess it's the company. But most things are better with company, for most people we are social animals after all.