I thought I was getting the gift I wanted.

[Sulking]

I feel like a bit of a brat!

DH talked about a gift that I’ve been wanting for a couple of years (a gold ring to add to my jewellery box) but we knew it was a fairly expensive gift. But for a few weeks before my birthday (last weekend) he was asking my ring size, checking which one I wanted, umming and ahhing about buying it and said I would have to wait and see.

He said a few days before my birthday that he had ordered my present but not to get too excited.. so I was very 50/50 🤣 I have asked for a few things recently that could have given him some ideas. However on my birthday I opened my gift and it was nothing I’d asked for 😅 I know that sounds so bloody horrible but because we’d spoken abit a few things I liked I thought maybe o was getting one of these things and I’m a bit disappointed that I haven’t. I’m especially disappointed about the ring because it’s not something I would really buy myself; so when DH talked about it I was excited. But I do know that it was a bit out of our usual birthday gift budgets. I just feel like he shouldn’t have mentioned it at all if he wasn’t sure.

nothing to this, just wanted to have a lil rant to myself because I don’t want to rant to anyone I know and look like a spoilt cow.

Wow. Sorry but yes, you are coming across as a spoiled brat.

just but the ring for yourself

Harsh.

OP I understand that he put the thought into your mind .Did he give any explanation as to why he chose the gift he did give you?

Buy it for yourself.
What did he get you?
It’s a bit odd that he was talking about ring sizes etc and then doesn’t seem to have mentioned why he didn’t get it.
By ‘to add to me jewellery box’ do you mean you just want to collect jewellery or would it have been one to wear daily? Sorry, just an odd turn of phrase as I wouldn’t want to buy dh something very expensive that was just going to sit in a box in a cupboard! (Other than kitchen knives which he does store in their boxes in the knife drawer but do get used regularly!)

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. If he wasn’t going to buy it he shouldn’t have raised it. It’s a horrible thing to do, to get somebody’s hopes up like that. Have you asked him why he did it?

It’s one I’d wear often, perhaps not daily but I recently started collecting bits of jewellery.

He got me a couple of books, some flowers and chocolates. I have been reading more lately so the thought is there he’s not a bad gift-buyer. I just got my hopes up and I do understand how that makes me sound 🫣 I just can’t help but be a little disappointed

I haven’t specifically asked him why he didn’t buy the ring. Just because I already know that it was above budget so that will be the reason why and I don’t want to make him feel guilty 🤣

Oh dear, it's reminding me a bit of the Betty Broderick ring incident. Don't let it eat you up, OP!

I think that at the point he told you not to get excited, it was pretty obvious you definitely weren’t getting the ring, or probably anything else that you’d been enthusiastic about.

Did you manage to hide your disappointment?

I think he’s handled this really badly . Telling you not to get too excited about your present is very mean spirited. He could have said something like “ I know you really want the ring but I just can’t stretch to it right now. But I’ve got you something I think you’ll like and I promise I’ll get the ring one day” .

I agree with this.

I think its understandable you being disappointed. The gifts he got you are nice and would of been great if he hadn't mentioned the other things. It's like someone taking you for a test drive of a brand new Mercedes then surprising you with a 15 year old Peugeot.

I massively disagree. Why did he ask your ring size and which ring when he was buying a book. He set you up for disappointment. Without that interaction then you may be a bit spoilt but he set your expectations then went left field. Totally fair to feel confused and disappointed.

He was double checking and asking your ring size, then gave you flowers and chocolate?

Perhaps he’s going to attempt to surprise you with the ring this evening? Otherwise, it’s really odd.

I agree. And what’s the point of spending a decent amount of money on something you know is not like the one that is wanted? Reminds me of my wedding when a good friend bought some tableware, but not from the set on the wedding list.

Completely agree with this. Wtf was he playing at? He set you up then decided you weren’t worth it. That’s horrible.

It might not be something you’d usually buy but this time please do!

So his birthday ask him what he wants.. Big up his Special Day then get him something totally not that..

You're not unreasonable to be disappointed
Why the hell was he faffing about your ring size if he wasn't buying the ring
i Would wonder if he enjoyed winding me up
instead his presents of choice were very underwhelming and genetic
i think you need to ask why he wanted your ring size as it built up your hopes
How juvenile

Or a bike.

No, she doesn't sound like a spoilt brat at all.

I can see that if you were hoping for a ring, then a couple of books would be quite the come down.
I don’t think you are a brat, you didn’t throw them at him and storm out, you’re just confiding a little bit of disappointment to some strangers on the internet, I think I would feel the same given the build up.

What's that?

I don't think you are 'spoiled brat' (as long as you are only expressing your disappointment on here and not to his face). I've been in a similar position where an ex said he'd buy me a pair of biker boots for my birthday - I waited for him to either show me a website or take me into town and point me at the shop. In the end he gave me four (yes FOUR) boxes of identical chocolates. I mean, I like chocolate, but even so... The boots were never mentioned again.

I was grateful but a little bit 'hmmm' about it. It turned out that he really just couldn't be bothered to find out what I'd like, so decided to go for chocolate because all women like chocolate. I hope your ring materialises for you in the near future.

Completely see why you were disappointed.
Maybe he is planning to surprise you at a later date?
I didn’t read your post as spoilt, venting on here is not the same as bratty behaviour.

Also think you should buy yourself the ring 😈

Ask him why he wanted to know your ring size.

I was wondering the same...Will toddle off for Google.
Op yanbu.
I don't get why he asked for your ring size if he is getting you books, he must have known you'd think you were getting a ring....