I thought I was getting the gift I wanted.

[Sulking]

I feel like a bit of a brat!

DH talked about a gift that I’ve been wanting for a couple of years (a gold ring to add to my jewellery box) but we knew it was a fairly expensive gift. But for a few weeks before my birthday (last weekend) he was asking my ring size, checking which one I wanted, umming and ahhing about buying it and said I would have to wait and see.

He said a few days before my birthday that he had ordered my present but not to get too excited.. so I was very 50/50 🤣 I have asked for a few things recently that could have given him some ideas. However on my birthday I opened my gift and it was nothing I’d asked for 😅 I know that sounds so bloody horrible but because we’d spoken abit a few things I liked I thought maybe o was getting one of these things and I’m a bit disappointed that I haven’t. I’m especially disappointed about the ring because it’s not something I would really buy myself; so when DH talked about it I was excited. But I do know that it was a bit out of our usual birthday gift budgets. I just feel like he shouldn’t have mentioned it at all if he wasn’t sure.

nothing to this, just wanted to have a lil rant to myself because I don’t want to rant to anyone I know and look like a spoilt cow.

Books flowers and chocolates are very generic gifts. I like all of them and would usually be delighted to receive them, but not if we had been discussing gold rings and dh had asked my ring size and which particular ring I wanted. Very mean of him imo.

That's awful

So he spent well under £200 if he only got you a few books & some flowers. I’d be really upset after much talk re a ring. Did he ever come good since?

He could have bought you a very good gold ring within the budget from pawn shop or from eBay. Georgian 18k ring with semiprecious stones, for example. Get him socks for his birthday and buy the ring yourself. I’d be managing my expectations with DH from now on if I were you.

we sort of discussed it together and I basically said that I would of course love it because it’s what I’ve wanted for a while, but I don’t expect him to spend that much on my birthday by any means.

You discussed it and said that you didn’t expect him to spend that much so he didn’t.

He should have managed your expectations more clearly than saying don’t get excited. He should have been honest about it being outside your budget.
Please do mention it. He should feel guilty - because he wasn’t fair. I’d actually go as far as to say he was quite cruel.

Agree. Asking for your ing size and preferences and then buying books with no explanation is a bit of a poor showing and you are not unreasonable to post here instead of complaining IRL.

She’s not.

Yanbu
it's a shit and generic gift and you dont need a ring size to buy a book...!!!

Id be so annoyed and would raise it and in the run up to his birthday I'd ask lots of questions about

• Cycling gear on his wish list
• Xbox or console he wants

-Sports events he wants to attend

• Whatever he's interested in and wants

Then for his birthday buy a bottle of his favourite spirit or artisan beers a nice cake and some fucking books
Jist to really underscore the point and prevent this nonsense going on for another 30 years

@PrittStickMan

Well my opinion is that she is.

This is why I always buy myself a Christmas Present before the day. That way I’m never disappointed.

Wait, let me get this right. He asked about your ring size knowing that you really wanted a specific ring, discussed other things you wanted, and then didn’t buy you a ring or anything else from your wish list? If that’s the case, it’s actually quite mean and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be disappointed. Why get your hopes up if he wasn’t going to get you anything you wanted anyway? He shouldn’t have asked at all if he wasn’t going to listen.

Why bump this thread up? It's old.

OP sounds awful. If I were the DH I’d be running for the hills and finding someone less entitled to share my life with.

Exactly, I think OP has probably got over the disappointment by now!

Someone has clearly come upon this thread and decided now is the time to comment. I nearly did so myself until I realised that I already had done, back in JUNE!

I imagine books, flowers & chocolates wouldn’t be in the same price bracket as the ring? I’d be happy to get them.

Except the flowers, if they were expensive!

I’ve had my eye on a necklace for a while, but I wouldn’t expect DH to buy it (although he always asks if I want it).

Line up the ring for another time. Big birthday? Anniversary?

I’ll definitely be getting my necklace. When we can afford it.

Well it was two months ago now so hopefully the OP has got over the fact her dH set her up for a ring and bought her a book and chocs instead.

It's ridiculous of him to be looking at said ring in front of you, 'umming- and- ahhing', asking for ring sizes, saying 'you'll have to wait and see'...

Then not buying you it. Surely he must know you'd have your hopes up?

He could've just said 'I'd love to get you that darling but it's a bit out of my budget. Or could it be birthday and Xmas gift combined?' if he can't afford it.

But it's true you should just buy it for yourself.