What do you do?

[LaLaLaLavaChChChChicken]

What do you do if you need to do a poo in an English country garden?

This song is doing the rounds at my nephew’s school and there is a much longer list than I remembered when I was young. So, what do you do?

Do it on a log and blame it on a dog, in an English country garden.

Pull down your pants and do it on the ants.

Although I seem to recall our version was ".. if you need to go to loo" which now as I type it seems grammatically irritating.

@Eastendboysandwestendgirls Yes! That unlocks a memory. I have heard that too.

I've got the world's most riling earworm now! I am amending my offer to "suffocate the ants" now my brain has sung it 50 times.

Sorry @Eastendboysandwestendgirls!

Go and test your mettle, by pooing on a nettle, in an English country garden!

I have had an ear worm from this all day.

Go and find a spade, and bury what you made, in an English county garden.

Pull down your pants and fertilize the plants!

Go and find a leaf and wipe your underneath, in an English country garden.

Down among the hollyhocks, tickling on the bolly-ocks. Big creepy crawlies climbing up yer arse.

I only remember
'Pull down your pants and suffocate the ants'.....

Yes! I remember this now. Couldn’t for the life of me remember it. 🤣

That was always first.

Nephew’s school have:
Don’t even try, unless there is WiFi, in an English Country Garden

and

If you’re touching cloth, then do it on a moth

Pull down your pants and suffocate the ants In an English Country Garden

Dated now, but DH recalls:

Dont tell you mum, or she will smack your bum, in an English Country Garden

lol. I’d forgotten all about that song. Glad to hear it’s still entertaining children 50 years later 😂

🎶 Pick up a leaf and wipe you’re underneath, in an English Country Gaardeeennn 🎶