Help me Mumsnet, I am really gassy

[Doubtfuldaphne]

I need advice, I have a new man staying over for THREE days and I am so excited but also terrified as I have ibs and I am properly gassy. It’s quite early stages and still in that very ‘wanting to be sexy permanently’ stage. The bathroom is right next to the bedroom. The house is small. There are no spots I can retreat to for gas expelling purposes. What the hell do I do. There’s no way I’m saying to him ‘by the way I have this problem’
Can I have any tips on what to do please. I’ve already bought a speaker for the bathroom so I can play very loud music in there while I disappear for my hundredth shower of the day. This is the only plan I have at the moment. Thank you 🙏 😬

I would have to own it, I have crohns and the gas is ridiculous at the minute, I couldnt do 3 days hiding it! Plus I don't always know it's coming 😬 no suggestions just solidarity and good luck x

Thank you! The thought of owning it makes me shudder 😂

Cancel and then get to know him properly so that you can discuss health problems with confidence and feel comfortable with him staying at yours.

Going for loads of showers will weird him out! I would take every single item of recycling/rubbish to the outside bins 1 by 1 that might work. Although not sure it would help with the weirdness now I have typed it out 😂.

Oh no you’re right it would be weird having loads of showers. I like the idea of taking stuff to the bin constantly 😂

Get some deflatine
Lay off the pulses and dense carbs for a bit?
Broccoli makes me toot for mankind.
Charcoal tablets if smelly (never used them but heard they work).
Have a candle burning in the loo to burn off smell
Drink a pint of warm water with lemon prior!
Find out what’s causing it. You could have a bad bug.

It’s been like this for years I think it’s just ibs but I find if I go without eating too long it gets worse so maybe plain regular foods throughout the day. I’ve got my deflatine at the ready. I heard charcoal tablets are good too, might trial them, I still have a month to plan!

Have you tried FODMAP?

I was just reading about it! I think this is the way to go from now

Have you tried peppermint tea

Yes, it helps a little bit but maybe if I have a lot more it might work. I need to cut fizzy drinks - I drink them all day.. might explain a lot

Open your bottom cheeks so the sound comes out quietly.

Hahaa thank you!

Definitely try the charcoal tablets. I had a stoma reversal operation last October and am so gassy after my evening meal, the charcoal tablets work really well.

Go into the garden to water the plants?

Wait till he goes to the loo then do a sneaky parp

If you have a month to go, try cutting out gluten from now. Really works!

There are certain positions you can get yourself into to relieve gas (Google them, it will be much clearer than me trying to describe them). Since you have a month to go, experiment with a few and try to identify the ones that relieve you best. Then, whenever your BF pops to the loo or goes to make a cup of tea, you can quickly drop into position and let rip, and hopefully that will tide you over for an hour or so, until you next have an opportunity.

Cutting out floury things like biscuits, cake and bread really helped me (even wraps). I've lost weight too so win-win.

Go to H&B and buy some activated charcoal. Ignore the instructions on the bottle and take two capsules between meals. Makes a massive difference.

Ultimately, though, you need to look at your diet and see how you can tweak it to reduce your wind. And does a relationship where you cannot be honest about a chronic health issue you have, have a future?

Ok I’m going to get the charcoal. I have changed my diet which has helped but there is room for improvement, I need to cut gluten altogether and not go so long between meals as that just makes it build up.
I will definitely be letting rip when he goes for a shower/to the loo! Will also encourage him to make his own tea downstairs as often as possible too 😂

I’m in creases laughing at this. This is my emergency go to, but it’s not 100% reliable:
MERRRRRRPP
🤣🤣🤣🤣