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Ideas of hell (lighthearted)

134 replies

lilacao · 12/06/2025 09:21

Lighthearted thread, prompted by trying to return a dress with no returns form. If there is no returns slip included, it tells you to contact customer care. This puts you on an email/text/whatsapp automated loop where you’re sent a standard response about how to return a dress, which you’ve already explained has stated you need to contact customer care if there wasn’t a return form, who then ask for all the details again, who then send a cut and paste, who then say will contact you as unexpected volumes of people contacting them, who then contact you etc etc. Driving me insane.

Some other things:
— lengthy hold times where you go through endless options, each leading to more hold times and no answers

•as above, but someone answers and gives you another number to call. Process above repeated. Extra points if direct you back to first number

•stuck in a traffic jam, especially if need the toilet

•kids homework / last minute dress up requests from school that involve procuring stuff online or trekking round shops at the last minute

• a loop of icebreaker exercises

•the fight for 8am call to doctors. Bring back some pre-bookables 🙏

•stuck with the person who takes ten hours to tell a five minute story.

What are some things that are your idea of hell?

OP posts:
LettingyougoMovingOn · 12/06/2025 12:49

School reunions. There's a reason why we're not in touch

greencartbluecart · 12/06/2025 12:55

Living on a flight path or main road
a beach holiday

the80sweregreat · 12/06/2025 13:02

Voice recognition software is terrible and doesn’t work.
A camping holiday.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 12/06/2025 13:04

During my final year at school I imagined hell as being double German (last 2 periods on Friday afternoon) that went on and on for ever.

CleanShirt · 12/06/2025 13:05

Baby showers.

the80sweregreat · 12/06/2025 13:07

Anything maths related is hell for me. I wished I could get a grip of numbers.

ARichtGoodDram · 12/06/2025 13:25

People that can't tell a funny story without stopping to laugh.

"And then... tee hee hee... he went to the cupboard and... tee hee hee..."

ARichtGoodDram · 12/06/2025 13:27

LettingyougoMovingOn · 12/06/2025 12:49

School reunions. There's a reason why we're not in touch

Someone is ranting on Facebook atm that none of the people she "worked exceptionally hard to track down" turned up to the reunion she organised. The only people that did are the few people she kept in close contact with and sees all the time.

Someone has been lambasted for pointing out that maybe if she had to work exceptionally hard to find people she should have realised they've no interest in catching up.

MaturingCheeseball · 12/06/2025 13:30

House guests
Especially ones who say, “So what are we doing today?”

softlyfallsthesnow · 12/06/2025 13:32

Wind chimes

AFingerofFudge · 12/06/2025 13:34

Ikea
Cold Water Swimming
Playing Monopoly
Talent shows on TV
Cricket
The 8am bunfight online to get a doctors appointment
Neighbours bonfire when you’ve just hung your washing out
Prawns

BigFatBully · 12/06/2025 13:38

Being on a train sat near to somebody who is talking loudly on their mobile phone, even more so when they hang up and then ring someone else to start ANOTHER conversation.

Being surrounded by milk bottles with the foil top scraping down the glass, it makes me shudder.

Using a lavatory that is caked in someone else's faecal smears.

Living in one of those houses in Australia that is plagued with mice bursting through the walls and crawling all over people whilst they sleep, I'd take a milk bottle glass scraping over that any day.

SodOffbacktoaibu · 12/06/2025 13:41

Any sort of forced fun

Holiday parks like Butlins with entertainment and loads of loud people

Listening to my neighbours whitter on constantly in the garden when it's sunny about inane things, at full volume

Soft play

Watching other people's snot faces toddlers eating especially if ketchup is involved

Coping with GenZ and the like and their ridiculous words and drama.

The M5 in holiday season

Yeah basically.... Hell is other people....so true.

I will have more. I mostly relate to Hugh Grant in grump mode or Jackson Lamb these days. They make me feel less alone 😁

SodOffbacktoaibu · 12/06/2025 13:42

Jackson Lamb but not in appearance I hasten to add !

SodOffbacktoaibu · 12/06/2025 13:43

softlyfallsthesnow · 12/06/2025 13:32

Wind chimes

Ohhhhh fuck YES

Juiceinacup · 12/06/2025 13:51

Old school but chalk scraping down a blackboard
Relentless poonami nappies
Children going “ but why”
Self service checkouts - non scanning barcodes, age verification needed, unexpected item in the bagging area, trying to find the picture of the correct fruit/veg bakery item, payment card not being expected, no staff member to help.
Customer problem you cannot resolve online so have to phone them answer machine says you are no 5 in the queue , sounds reasonable so you wait, 30 mins later after tinkly music on repeat interspersed with we are experiencing a high level of calls please visit our website wearecompletelyuseless@big company.co.uk answer machine tells you are no 4 in the waitlist.

the80sweregreat · 12/06/2025 13:58

Let’s face it, good customer service died out long ago.
It’s been allowed to happen and like a runaway train it’s imploded. If you do receive good service it’s a bit of a rare event these days , that’s if you can get through to an actual person.

kshaw · 12/06/2025 14:21

Forced fun - ie work away days or bingo bingo etc

Listening to someone tell you about their dream - WHY???!

DiscoBob · 12/06/2025 14:24

All of the things you've put OP. Though I don't know much about homework.

I'd say letters from Government entities or banks that don't make sense and are so generic as to be incomprehensible. Then you spend hours on hold to some godawful call centre and they say 'oh, it's just computer generated. You can just ignore it'.

TescoGold · 12/06/2025 14:25

A crowded beach.
Being on one of those enormous cruise ships.
An all-inclusive package hotel holiday (the sort where there's a mad rush to the pool sun-loungers every morning and the buffet is the same every day).

CuddlesKovinsky · 12/06/2025 14:27

Self-published poetry readings. 😭

MiloMinderbinder925 · 12/06/2025 14:34

Other people's children
Strict gender norms
Hot weather
Making small talk with vacuous people
Racists who want 'sensible discussions' about immigration
MRA claiming victim hood
Conspiracy theorists
Purity spirals
Dehumanisation
People who talk about one thing: their dog, children, work...
People who shout-sing.
Trained child dancers

Buxusmortus · 12/06/2025 14:34

Musicals
Pantomimes
Drag queen shows
Holiday hotels with "entertainment"
Cruises

LettingyougoMovingOn · 12/06/2025 14:38

The fucking silent treatment

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