Went part time due to mental health/stress.. still not coping. What do I do?

[Sulking]

I’ve spent the last 3years in a constant state of panic and stress. I’ve been in and out of high intensity therapy and am back on the waiting list yet again but have around 17 weeks to wait.

I quit my full time job after a bit of a breakdown at the end of last year; I just couldn’t cope with childcare and working. So I got a part time job; only around 10-12 hours a week so literally barely anything… but I’m still not coping.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like not working won’t help, I like to keep busy, I like the distraction sometimes. But equally I hate the commitment and the pressure to need to be at work when I feel so so low and panicked.

We also absolutely can’t afford for me to not work or reduce any hours. We’re literally below the breadline right now and have debt to pay off so I can’t just quit and see how it goes.

Im so stuck and im so worried about the strain my body and my mind are under due to my mental health.

Had anyone been in a similar boat? Where do I go from here?

Can you apply for pip ,and get on universal credit,get signed of from your doctor.
Are you on any medication..can you get a doctor appointment to discuss some .
I take propranolol and that calms me down enough to function

You can self refer for CBT with talking therapy through the NHS ..you've probably already done similar though..it's very difficult,..are you under the mental health team ,do they have any advice for you

PIP is for extra costs caused by functional difficulties in mobility, dressing, taking adequate nutrition etc.

Not an extra avenue of income because someone is finding work stressful.

she will have a long long wait for PIP especially if not diagnosed with MH conditions or medicated for them. I had a huge wait and I have regular seizures. You need to seek a proper diagnosis.

You can and do get PIP/ADP for MH conditions. I get it for my depression as well as epilepsy and autism. I got a lot of points for my MH and am considered unfit to work. However it can take a long time for assessment especially if she is undiagnosed. Seeking a diagnosis is the best step ditto getting a fit note for possible UC.

Having a breakdown is a bit more than finding work stressful

Pip is indeed for mental health issues..the forms make it difficult to apply for it it with such conditions..but not impossible

Sorry Op. It's a nightmare. I'm in a very similar situation (except no kids just not coping with life) and am on a phased return after being off work for months due to mental health crisis/breakdown but really struggling trying to get back. Are you on medication? Could that be reviewed? Do work have Occupational health? Is there a different job role or different tasks that you could do at work that would feel more manageable?
There's no easy answers, I literally have no idea what I'm going to do, need to be able to work (I'm on my own) but been in a total mess for 2 years mh wise and also have lots of pre existing chronic health stuff.
A change of medication (adding something else in to what I was already taking) did really help to reduce anxiety a little bit a couple of months ago (although things have now got worse again) so that's something to talk to gp about if you haven't already.

Thanks all.
I am diagnosed with GAD, Health Anxiety, Social Phobia and agoraphobia. Not 100% sure I’m officially diagnosed with depression but the last scores with talking therapy’s have suggested moderate to severe.

I am on the waiting list for the NHS talking therapy’s. I’ve been going on and off since I was 18. No medication (yet) because of my health anxiety relates to me worrying about side effects so I haven’t been able to convince myself to take any medication yet, but I would like to eventually. I do take CBD gummies more recently though, I think hey might help take the edge off but it’s definitely not a problem solver.

I briefly looked into PIP more as a ‘if I have another breakdown and really can’t work how am I going to survive’ kinda way; and it seemed like it’s also impossible to claim for MH issues. I did read the through some of the criteria and it seems like because I don’t need someone to leave the house with me to go to work then I pretty much won’t be entitled. I wonder if I had a chat with citizens advice about my issues they might know more? Although I genuinely worry that if I don’t work I will just end up bed rotting everyday after the school run.

Would working from home help ?
Could you look for a job doing that?

I was working from home as my full time job; I eventually dropped my hours due to struggling with childcare; and then just hit a low point and left. I did enjoy working from home but I definitely was confined to the 4 walls of my house and I just never left the sofa or my desk all day 😅

What is it your actually struggling with is it the type of job you do is it a hard stressful job or is it leaving the house or interacting with others. I reduced my hours due to mh but I need the routine of the part time job to function otherwise I just sleep and stop looking after myself and don't leave the house. I think the right job can be very beneficial

it’s actually nothing to do with the job to be honest. It’s just my constant state of panic and anxiety is making me so exhausted that working on top of worrying just ain’t doing me any good. If that makes sense.

Do you get sick pay? Can you go to see your GP and get signed off for a few weeks to give yourself some space?
Do you have good childcare? Are you getting exercise and out into nature regularly?

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic but if you do that I.e confine yourself indoors and don't leave the desk then you create a sense of 'freeze' in the fight or flight mode. I know, it happened to me in the pandemic. You need to walk before work and have a proper lunch break 100%. Interaction with people, albeit tiring, also boosts positive chemicals in the brain.

OP I went through similar last year. I had to quit my full time job due to mental breakdown. The balance of working and childcare was just too much. I had a couple of months off and found part time then. Luckily for me my mental health improved after a few months but having gone back full time this month my anxiety and panic is increasing again. However I have no choice,
like you, and have to go back to work as need the income. Have you thought about exploring a different sector to work in? I wish I had some real suggestions but I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. Unsure as to what age you are but could perimenopause be a possible factor? GP feels this is contributing to mine.

I think you really need to try medication it really is life changing. I understand you said you struggle with this during to health anxiety I'm the same but their is a few things I do that help when I take a new medication. I always start on what me and my dr call a toddler dose so the lowest possible dose and then half it or even quarter it you will need to talk to your dr about this as some meds you can't cut up, then work your way up until it's at an actual dose. My first dose i only ever take when someone else is around so they can help with any reactions (this has never happened).

You have to go on medication. Your anxiety disorder symptoms can be treated pretty effectively with medication and this will enable you to function much better. There's no mileage in stopping work entirely - you'll just end up making your world even smaller.

I agree with this. I suffered with anxiety for years and was too scared to take medication because of the side effects. The Dr. eventually started me on a really low dose of escitalopram 5mg which is half the recommended starting dose. I cut that in half and took 2.5mg for a few weeks then upped it to the 5mg, then 7.5mg and kept increasing it until I was on 15mg daily. I didn't have one side effect. Could you try doing something like that.

What’s causing the stress? It’s not juggling childcare and working now surely with only 10/12 hours to juggle surely? As you said yourself, that’s barely anything. Is there something else? Do your work have an EAP you can access for support?

Agree with PP’s - medication helps. I take propranolol ad hoc to reduce my panic symptoms and it really does work.

Can you do what you do on a self-employed basis so that you can do as much as little as you need to?
That’s what I ended up doing after my divorce. I realised there was no way I was gonna be able to juggle a 9 to 5 or even being in certain places at a certain time even though I can do the job.
I can just do the job quite well at 2 o’clock in the morning on a Thursday if that makes sense
So that’s what I do because it doesn’t impact on anybody else

I’m so sorry you are struggling. I have a hunch that a low-dose SSRI would be life-changing. I was in a similar position a couple of years ago - Fluoxetine really worked! I am now almost totally anxiety free.

Agree. Which is why I look forward to the changes that are meant to be happening for PIP.

Therapy clearly is not working so you might need to reconsider medication eg antidepressants. They do have side effects for many people especially when you start taking them but you need to consider whether 2 weeks of side effects is preferable to years of constant anxiety and panic and almost total inability to cope with everyday life.