Went part time due to mental health/stress.. still not coping. What do I do?

[Sulking]

I’ve spent the last 3years in a constant state of panic and stress. I’ve been in and out of high intensity therapy and am back on the waiting list yet again but have around 17 weeks to wait.

I quit my full time job after a bit of a breakdown at the end of last year; I just couldn’t cope with childcare and working. So I got a part time job; only around 10-12 hours a week so literally barely anything… but I’m still not coping.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like not working won’t help, I like to keep busy, I like the distraction sometimes. But equally I hate the commitment and the pressure to need to be at work when I feel so so low and panicked.

We also absolutely can’t afford for me to not work or reduce any hours. We’re literally below the breadline right now and have debt to pay off so I can’t just quit and see how it goes.

Im so stuck and im so worried about the strain my body and my mind are under due to my mental health.

Had anyone been in a similar boat? Where do I go from here?

When I was going through the worst of my anxiety both my GP and Occ Health counsellor that I got through my workplace (NHS) said exactly that - and it’s true. It’s like that pulled back muscle again I talked about in a pp - if you don’t put in the effort and take the medication and do the prescribed therapy then you won’t recover. It’s bloody hard, but it has to be done.

You can also take the medication, do the therapy and not recover! Many people are in that situation. It's bullshit to tell people with mental ill health that effort is all they need. Maybe it was all you needed.

The truth is that we cannot afford to pay for everyone to stay at home.

Much better for everyone that the OP is set on the road to recovery and stays in work.

Nope, it’s not just what I needed - it’s clinically proven that medication and the right therapies get people with MH back on their feet. It takes time, it’s not an overnight fix, and the bad days can still be there - but without both the chances of recovery are much poorer/non-existent.

You asked what the medical qualifications were - and I told you.

@Sulking honestly medication will change your life. It saved mine as well as my career.

It's really good news that you've actually mentioned "bed rot". You want to work. You want to have a good life. medication will enable you to do that. Please give it a try.

Obviously you won't recover you can't cure mental illness but you can manage it. I have eupd, bipolar,cptsd,gad,ha, and depression and with a lot of work and medication i can function and work part time, yes life's hard but it's been way worse

''@2dogsandabudgie · Today 12:52
^ The point is that if someone has mental health problems in the formal of social anxiety or agoraphobia then PIP isn't really going to help them in the long term.^
Overcoming phobias and other mental health conditions requires effort, anxiety symptoms are horrible and it's much easier to not have to face those symptoms by avoiding whatever it is a person is fearful of. When we don't have a choice it is surprising how strong we can be.''

Another armchair 'mental health specialist' who does not have a clue of what they are talking about.

You don't just 'overcome' mental health issues/conditions.

At best you find ways to manage their impact with medication, counselling and lifestyle changes.

Some who is bipolar is never going to magically 'overcome' it and no longer be bipolar. Even if they everything they can to try to manage it with medication and other coping mechanism they can have episodes of relapse.

Same with depression. it can be with you for life.

If you have autism you cannot magically get a personality transplant and suddenly become happy with noise/social interaction. You have it for life.

Of course PIP helps people with mental health issues. It is not just for people with physical disabilities.

I am really starting to think we need to add mandatory mental health and disability training to the school curriculum and ask employers to also run mandatory training sessions because the ignorance about these topics in this country is appalling.

I asked what your medical qualifications were. Not whether you were repeating what someone told you in your circumstances. I agree that without the right medication and therapy the chances of recovery are poorer. But even with all of that, and many years support (and let's face it - most people don't get that anyway!) not all mental ill health is recovered from. It may fluctuate, it may be controlled, but that is not recovery.

You didn’t ask me what my medical qualifications were actually.

In terms of a full recovery, no, it is true that not everyone recovers - although others do. However, to get to the point where it is managed and controlled does take effort - as I explained in my pp.

I did not notice that you answered the question that I asked of somebody else - but those were still not your medical qualifications and that was the question in my post you addressed. Some might recover - but many don't. I have no skin in the game, but it is very unhelpful when people are saying (as the pp did) that it takes effort. That implies that anyone not recovering is not making enough effort. People with disabilities are under enough attack right now, and that is especially true of those with mental ill health and invisible disabilities. Not everyone can even achieve "managed and controlled", assuming that is possible for all individuals.

That's fine if we are mistaken . Lets see what the MPs have to say. There should be payments for disability and not payments because people can't manage on UC and don't want to work more hours.

PIP isn’t means tested, she could still get it while working

PIP helped me pay for therapy foR my suicidal thoughts when there was a long NHS waiting list, PIP helped me travel to medical appointments as I get exceptionally of having a seizure on public transport. Pip can help with mental health issues.

Exceptionally scared of

Anyone can suffer with mental health at any time in their life. Some people will have a mental breakdown, recover and never have a breakdown again, others may have several breakdowns during their lifetime.

Autism is a genetic condition, it does not fall under mental health although people with autism can suffer with their mental health.

Bi polar disorder and other mental health conditions such as schizophrenia are more complex, they are conditions which people will have for life.

Many people have overcome phobias and anxiety, myself included but it does require effort as I said in my previous post.

The point I am making is that if someone has agoraphobia they are more likely to recover if they have no choice but to work. If they suffer with acute anxiety then PIP may help in the short term, say if it's for 6 months, but if someone can claim PIP indefinitely for something like agoraphobia then they won't have the incentive to help themselves because they won't need to.

It really doesn’t work like that.

I worked with severe anxiety. Despite confronting my fears at work l just got worse and worse.

lf it was that easy no one would have agoraphobia

But how long will it take? I’ve been in therapy for years, since I was a teen. Now I’m edging towards 30 and I keep getting signed off as ‘improved’ and then I’m back re-referring and on a 17 a time wait list to see someone and having the worst time of my life until they have room for me.

I can’t afford private therapy or I would go private. Medication is something that everytime I mention my health anxiety about taking meds they don’t want to even go into it they just accept that it’s not a route I’m ready for and focus on CBT instead. It’s a vicious circle.

Not working isn’t something I want to do; but I wanted to explore my options with PIP because if I get so bad again that I need time away from work; then I can’t put a roof over my children’s head and feed them. So knowing I might be entitled to something to help would be nice. But I don’t see it as a ‘I don’t need to work because I can get the taxpayers to say me PIP yay” I actually quite like working.

Someone above mentioned that my MH may get worse if I quite because I essentially won’t be exposing myself to the thing I fear; but working isn’t what causes my anxiety. My anxiety causes me stress at work 🤣

In order to recover from agoraphobia a person will have to confront their fear. If someone is too scared to set foot outside their house they won't recover from staying indoors for the rest of their life, but they stand more chance to recover if they have a step by step programme to help them overcome their phobia.

I did exposure therapy for agoraphobia and it worked really well if I hadn't have pushed myself I don't think I'd be alive

I think you're looking at it wrong don't try and fix it and be cured it's not realistic it's about managing it so you can live as close to normal as possible. You start medication things can be improved in as little as 2 weeks, you go outside everyday and eat a healthy diet you will notice a difference within a month. You go to therapy and use the tools even when not in therapy you will have less bad patches. I'm the same as you been in and out of therapy since being a teenager but iv just accepted that, that is a part of my life. Absolutely go for pip if you want but it is incredibly stressful and long process but pip or no pip, work is so important you need routine, to be around other people and to leave the house. It's actually terrifying how quickly you can become even more unwell when the routine has gone. When ever I have periods of time out of work within weeks I can be in a position of not being able to leave the house, not being able to get out of bed, basic hygiene goes down the toilet and I just become an absolute mess.

Well done I'm really pleased that you recovered.

Thankyou ❤️

I’m only diagnosed with GAD but I’ll say that going on medication after a near-breakdown a few years ago was life-changing for me. I’m 50 now and have always been an anxious person. I tried Sertraline first, which didn’t do much for me, so my doctor switched me to Escitalopram.

After three weeks on 10mg (a low dose) I felt so much better. The panicky feeling just subsided and I could think more clearly. If you can bring yourself to try a medication, do it. Remind yourself that if it doesn’t work or you have side effects, you can stop taking it or try something else. 💐

I made it very clear that it was my GP and Occ Health team (ie tge medically qualified people) who all explained that effort is needed to recover/manage it/get it under control - and they are correct. It’s not insulting or incorrect, it simply sets out that managing mental ill health takes a lot of hard work and a massive effort at a time at a point when all you want to do is lie in bed or stay hidden away in the house, when even having a shower or brushing your teeth or eating is too much to contemplate - but doing nothing will achieve nothing. Effort just means it’s not easy - in fact, it’s very far from easy, as anyone who has or who has had MH issues knows only too well. It’s exhausting at times.
As per my previous posts, think of it like a muscular problem with your back - in order to get back on your feet you have to take medication and do whatever therapies you have been advised. Sometimes you need to tweak one or both if they’re not working, sometimes you need to do your physio forever or for a long period, and sometimes the problem will return and you have to start all over.