Wedding Invite Etiquette

[everychildmatters]

...if bride's parents are solely funding the entire wedding?

My dps paid for mine, their names were on the invitations as the hosts, as traditional etiquette would expect. It was 15 years ago though, my most recent invitation to a wedding was from my cousin and her fiancé, and I'm pretty sure my aunt and uncle will be paying for it!

INVITATION, for Heaven's sake.
Invite is a verb.
Invitation is the noun.

@Oldandcobwebby Useful contribution right there 😆

The traditional way (as someone posted above) is awful. The bride and groom should be able to word the invite however they like.

Someone's already pointed that out if you read the thread.

They did it politely though.

It’s not that weird. I’ve seen invitations that’s say xxxx & xxxxx Johnston and xxxx & xxxx Brown cordially invite you to the wedding of xxxxxx & xxxxxxx

Yes they should be able to wire it as they like. Even if it’s in format that you find awful

I think insisting on it is a bit “we need everyone to know that we paid!!!”
Why can’t genuine gratitude from your child and their partner be enough?

Depends who's richest out of the happy couple, the bride's parents and the groom's parents. And also what else is happening/has happened. Maybe the groom's parents have signed over an equivalent amount of money towards the couple's house buying, and the couple's own savings have gone there too. Or groom's parents may not have much money and contributing £200 towards the groom's suit is the most they can do. Also depends on who cares if it's a big wedding - if the couple would be happy with an informal registry office do with max 6 guests but bride's parents wants there to be a big family party that all the aunts and cousins come to then it's certainly reasonable to expect them to pay without it being particularly evidence of sexism.

Same for us. Also 20 odd years ago.

But I think it was the right thing to do. My DF paid for 100% of everything I wanted with no expense spared. So in a way, he was hosting everything so the invitation should have come from him.

Both my parents and in laws made a contribution to our wedding but we paid for most of it. We used the wording 'together with their parents Lost and Mr Lost to be invited....'

Much the same, rather longer ago though!

Yep this is the traditional wording as the brides parents paid for the wedding. I think the grooms parents were responsible for the wedding cars and the flowers.

Of course that makes sense!
Why would the invite say...
You are cordially invited to Ben and Sally's wedding, paid for by Bob and Sue

Don't be ridiculous!

@everychildmatters at the weddings you attended, how could you tell the difference between fathers who walked their DDs down the aisle and fathers who “gave their DDs away”? Is there a special hat?

"{Insert name of guest} is invited to Lauren and Tom's wedding"

There is no reason to publish who is paying for it.

First marriage my parents paid and I did the traditional wording and dad gave a speech. Second time they got an invitation from us and I refused money despite mum trying to pay for something, we have far more money than them (I let them pay for breakfast the following day at ‘spoons, an idea I got off another Mumsnetter). I did let dad walk me down the aisle to please mum (he wasn’t bothered either way)

@HoldmecloseTonyDanza Are you being deliberately obtuse? Don't bother answering that one (rhetorical question).

Got married recently. My parents paid for almost everything. Nothing from the groom's side. The invitations stated "You are invited to the wedding of" and then our names. No mention of parents. We planned and organised everything ourselves. We invited anyone my parents wanted to invite. His parents never asked to invite anyone although we obviously included family from both sides anyway.

@SheilaFentiman Exactly. It's the same to all intents and purposes. Hence why I didn't walk with my dad anywhere (except to the bar afterwards perhaps!)

Not at all, but I did quote the wrong post.
(Answering your rhetorical question anyway)

“To all intents” is an interesting phrase. You don’t see a difference between a father and a daughter walking down the aisle together if the father’s intention is to demonstrate he is giving her away, or if the DD also intends to show she is being given away? Vs it being a father-daughter thing, like shopping for the dress is probably a mother-daughter thing?

I rather suspect you would judge the intent…

@SheilaFentiman It's the "giving away" symbolism I don't personally agree with. My opinion.

But it’s the couples wedding?

@Coconutter24 Yes but paid for by bride's parents. So I was asking re etiquette nowadays. I know it used to be they'd be mentioned if contributed and I know some people still do in their wording.