Wedding Invite Etiquette

[everychildmatters]

...if bride's parents are solely funding the entire wedding?

Not sure why you’re asking then! Seems like more than idle curiosity. Have you received an invite from B&G when you know parents are paying and their contribution doesn’t, therefore, seem to be acknowledged?

Mr Joe and Mrs Mary Smith (bride's parents)
cordially invite/ request the present of (guest's name)
to the marriage of their daughter Sarah Smith to Mr Groomy Groom
at St James' Church, Stoke Newington
on 23rd June at 2.00pm
followed by the wedding breakfast/reception at The Posh Hotel, Stoke Newington KA12 5TQ

@SoScarletItWas Yes. I know it's fully paid for by parents of the bride. Was just a bit surprised, that's all. The main thing is everyone is happy with that.

I am of the view that if you want your parents to foot the whole bill “as is traditional” then you can have the grace to word the invite “traditionally”.

DH&I paid for our own wedding - and therefore the invite came from us.

Who paid for the wedding shouldn't be for public consumption. The invitation should come from the bride and groom. It's not the 1970s (when I got married) any more.

@IAmNeverThePerson That's also my personal opinion. But then I chose not to have my dad "give me away" either (feminist views).

Not sure of your question now OP.

@everychildmatters i did have my dad walk me down the aisle but not give me away (iyswim). It meant a lot to him.

@IAmNeverThePerson I walked down with my daughter ❤️ Dad did a reading.

So what would happen if the grooms parents also put money towards the wedding too , could they request their names on the invite too ? Coz it wouldn’t be fair otherwise …
then it just gets silly really …

We’re paying for our daughter’s wedding as it’s a small one and relatively cheap. The invitations were from her and her partner.

We are both walking her down the aisle, and her partner’s parents are walking with him. No “giving away”.

I think the correct etiquette would be for the parents and the couple to discuss it and for the parents to tell the couple if they would like their names on the invite.

If I were the paying parents I wouldn’t want my name on the invites. It feels old fashioned and I think it would look like I was showing off or making a point to highlight the fact the other set of parents hadn’t contributed anything.

This happened to my parents. They actually gave more money toward the wedding than the brides parents. The invite was from brides parents.
they are still bitter about it now.

The parents of Suzie Smith and Joe Jones request the pleasure of blah blah.
I think that is fine.

I’m sure they will be thanked in the speeches.

(I’m like you as I wasn’t given away and we paid for it, and I’ve not been to a wedding for 20 years so not seen any invites to compare!)

@FlatWhiteExtraHot I absolutely love that idea of both parents walking down! Beautiful!! I'd be thrilled to do that perhaps one day as I'd like to think both my husband and I have had an equal contribution to our daughter's upbringing ❤️

ISTR that our invitations had something like

"Mr and Mrs Forename Surname take great pleasure in inviting you to the wedding of their daughter Weary and Mr Forename Surname."

Mind you, that was more than 30 yrs ago.

If we’re talking about etiquette (and propriety), it’s an invitation. Not invite, which is a verb.

My wedding invitations were traditional as my parents paid for every single thing. I guess that’s quite old-fashioned now as parents on both sides contribute equally, if at all.

My dad walked me down the aisle, he didn’t ’give me away’. This was a dated concept even when I got married in the late 90s.

@SoScarletItWas Guessing.so, although wonder if that would make it a bit awkward for the grooms parents? Suppose careful wording all all good 😀

The traditional wording if Bride's parents are funding the whole thing would be:

Mr & Mrs Rodger Posonby-Smythe
Request the presence of
(Invitee name or names)
To celebrate the wedding of their daughter
(Bride's first name only)
To
(Groom's full name and relevant higher degrees, military ranks or other major honors eg KC or FRS etc)

There is no obligation to use this wording because it's horrifically sexist so please do deviate from it!

@PorgyandBess I've been to lots of weddings recently and every time the father has given the bride away. Even for second marriages!!! I was definitely seen as unusual on this one. Not that it bothered me - there were so many "traditions" I didn't want - throwing of bouquet, top table, just the men making speeches, changing my name and title etc. The main thing I guess is it how the couple want to do things.

@RareGoalsVerge Agreed!
But isn't the whole idea of the bride's parents solely funding everything a bit sexist/traditionalist?

My parents gave me and my brother the same sum of money, which more than covered the cost of our wedding. My in laws gave a smaller amount which covered the meals of everyone they considered to be "their" guests.

Neither of them had any input into the wedding arrangements whatsoever, other than each specifying a few friends of their own they wanted to invite.

On the invitations we put, "Together with their families, Miss Scarlet and Professor Plum etc etc".

The thing with formal, traditional, stuffy wording in 2025 is that it's a bit ridiculous imo, when the couple themselves are far from traditional.

"Mr & Mrs Barrington-Smythe formally request the pleasure of the company of Marcus and Harriet Hughes, at the wedding of their daughter Jennifer to James Dimbleby etc".

But Jenny and Jim and been shacked up for 5 years with 3 kids.

Tradition pretty much bolted years ago.

We've been to 6 weddings so far this year and none of them have been "hosted" by the brides parents. Three had "Together with their parents", two were just from the couple and one was from their children (one hers and one his) which totally set the tone for a child-friendly, bouncy castle and cheesy entertainment kind of wedding so worked well.