Turning out the big light

[Barney16]

I'm interested to know if I'm deluded or if my DP is quite mad. Every single evening at some point, whilst we are sitting in the living room watching TV, he will say mind if I turn the big light out? If he does we are plunged into virtual darkness except for a rather rubbish table lamp. It's like sitting in the dark more or less. He says he likes it because "it's like being in the pictures". It isn't, it's exactly like sitting in the dark. It's obviously a completely mundane problem but I honestly don't think the majority of people sit in the dark watching their TV do they?

I love the big light on!

My husband doesn’t, so, we have lamps.

Well, all I do is walk into the room and flick on the light switch by the door, and which turns on all the lamps in the room.

We had to have the house rewired anyway when we moved anyway, so it wasn’t adding any extra complications.

That's a significant difference though! If you already had to have your house rewired and decided to do this fancy linked lamps thing then that's rather different to me having no need to rewire anything 😂

I think we should have patrols at night to check for anyone using their big light. Similar to the men who went round during the war and checked everyone was adhering to the blackout rule.

Anyone with the big light on must be: decorating the room, getting a skelf out or taking photos of an item for Vinted.

Jail for the rest of ye!

My point is it’s not ‘fancy’ at all! People buying old houses get them rewired all the time.

Fair enough, sounds fancy to me. And whether I end up needing to rewire my house at any point will remain entirely unnecessary as I would still find lamps gloomy and use the normal light anway!

DP likes a gadget so our big light is connected to Alexa and it changes colour! You can ask it for yellow light at 50% which gives a nice warm glow. Still prefer lamps though. He was shocked the first time I turned the light off to watch a film but he comes from a weird family. Fortunately he's come round to the correct way of thinking.

Me too 😂

Lovely lamps here. Rarely the big light.

I can't sit in a room with the 'big light' on. Lamps are so much more tasteful and homely.

Urgh. Hate the big light. Far too bright and harsh, no sense of ambience or coziness. Only use it when cleaning on a dull wet day. Probably the only main ceiling light we regularly use is the landing.

We have very thick blackout type curtains that are permanently closed (neighbours across the street can look directly into our living room otherwise and frequently did, complete with shouted commentary on what we were doing, before the curtains!) so the big light is always on in this house! I wouldn't want to sit in the dark. I'm with you OP.

For me it is, almost literally, black and white.

I like pitch black for sleeping with heavy curtains and no little lights from electronic devices or anything. And I like proper, full, bright light for being awake. The middle ground with partial lamplight is unnerving. It's neither one nor the other.

The big light is a bit marmite. My DH hates having the big light on as he says he can see reflections on TV but I like it on. Mainly because I don't watch much TV so an usually doing something else at the same time like a jigsaw or drawing. My family always had it on and his always had a lamp. We just sit in different rooms depending on activity now.

Would anyone be willing to post pics of the lamps they have, I need some new ones after reading this thread

I’m with you OP. We don’t have a big light (downlights instead) but DH likes to dim them reaallly low… I get it, he finds it relaxing, but to me it means “time to sleep”. Like when they dim the lights in a plane. I hate it.

I don’t get people saying it’s gloomy
i have this lamp and it’s perfect for reading under, I’m not sat with a candle!

At night with just the lamp on

Would be bright enough for me if I was sitting right at the end of the sofa where the remotes are. Too dark otherwise. I like above me covering the whole room.

I did have a lamp in the lounge briefly. It was a bright, anglepoise type that DH uses to get extra light on fiddly bits of model making. Had to position it behind me and over my shoulder so I could see some cross-stitch I was doing. That was in addition to the big light which for that project just wasn't quite bright enough.

Hate hate hate the big light.

Nope not at all. Something struck me by your and other posts and my in my head, from a young child recognising the "big light". Still have that thought in my head and it persists in my psyche. Was a fond memory I guess I put in "" for my own memory of conversations decades ago.

Hope I didn't offend and certainly was not mocking you.

We have two decent lamps - so neither sit with the big light on OR in darkness.

How awful sitting with the big light on to watch tv.

And yet in many parts of the world people do - and we think how weird it is to have all these lamps and not use the ceiling light for its intended purpose. I mean, why do you even have one?

Many parts of UK life are just odd!

I always turn the main lights off by 9pm at the latest. Better for winding down to bedtime.

I like the big light. DH doesn't . Naturally, it is a point of contention on a regular basis.

We compromised on lamps. Not one, but three, otherwise it's like sitting in a cave for me. I'd still rather the big light though as I can't read by lamp light.

I didn't realise how used I'd got to just having lamps on in the evening - at my house, pretty much all my friends and all my family - til we went to a friends' one Christmas and they had the big light on.
It genuinely put me on edge. Everything felt so stark and not homely or cosy at all. I'm sure it felt totally normal to them though.
I guess it's just about what you find comfortable and what you're used to. For me, lighting is quite important for the feel of a room. I have some really nice big lamps with soft light and the main light never goes on at all unless we've lost something and ate rooting under sofas to find it.