Turning out the big light

[Barney16]

I'm interested to know if I'm deluded or if my DP is quite mad. Every single evening at some point, whilst we are sitting in the living room watching TV, he will say mind if I turn the big light out? If he does we are plunged into virtual darkness except for a rather rubbish table lamp. It's like sitting in the dark more or less. He says he likes it because "it's like being in the pictures". It isn't, it's exactly like sitting in the dark. It's obviously a completely mundane problem but I honestly don't think the majority of people sit in the dark watching their TV do they?

I also have ADHD. I even start side-eyeing my husband if he has his phone screen brightness too high.

We once went to a dinner party where the Big Light was left on through the entire meal, directly above the dining table. I very nearly Said Something

I don't even have a bulb in my 'big light' haven't for 6 years

Yep, better lamps OP. And on automatic timers. When the lamps come on. It’s time for big light to go off.

You can also phase lamps to turn off. Big lamp first signals bed time. Little lamp stays on for a while so the house doesn’t feel lonely. If your still up when little lamp turns off then you have been naughty.

🤣

🤣

We were visiting DH's sister's family one evening during the Christmas period. Big bright ceiling light on in the living room, so bright you could scarcely see the lights on the Christmas tree. My eyes wandered around the room; I couldn't see a single lamp or wall light of any description, nor a dimmer switch for the ceiling light. Miserable.

The simple solution when you turn the big light off and I'm not comfortable sitting with it in isn't to sit in the dark it's to make sure you have lamps!

Turning on the big light unless you are doing something like building flat pack furniture or disarming a bomb is the equivalent of declaring war in our home.

It is never used in common spaces. If someone needs it they ask permission from any room occupants to turn it on.

you need better lamps. Big lights should be banned under the Geneva convention. (If you were wondering, yes, I and the majority of my household members are autistic)

Oh and since lamps can be a bit of a pain to turn on and off individually, you can buy voice activated plugs for them.

Team DH all the way.

I may have, on more than one occasion, plucked my DH's phone or tablet out of his hand and turned the screen brightness down, switched on the blue light filter, and turned Dark Mode on. Much better. 👍

Not all sockets had separate switches. You plugged it in and it was live immediately so turning the appliance off wasn't enough. So the advice was to pull the plug out overnight so everyone was safer from fires.

The big light isn’t cosy! You need more lamps.

OP if you aren't happy with it then it isn't okay. I obviously don't know your background, but when I was younger this was the stance from my dad and if felt incredibly controling/oppressive. It was an unwelcoming environment, loud tv, an opportunity for him to be as he wanted but with no regard for others.

Never use the big light I prefer lamps

I love lamp 😁

If you mean the bright ceiling light then just NO, you’re not a convenience store! Who does this??

I prefer a few good lamps to the ceiling-mounted light, but if he's specifically saying he likes to cultivate a cinema experience, he might not want several lamps on, either. I'd invest in better/brighter lamps and compromise that way.

I'm missing the 😀reaction.

My 'big light' is only ever on during the daytime when extremely gloomy out, or what I believe SHOULD be daytime, so early morning and mid-evening in winter so I can pretend it's daylight for a few more hours.

Once it's proper evening it's cosy lamps, string lights and candles only.

The big light only gets used for very specific circumstances, for example doing a puzzle or looking for something small i dropped on the carpet.

Get better lamps. We have a tall floor lamp and fairy lights which comes on at night, very cosy. Watching TV in the evening with the big light on is unhinged behaviour.

The only thing worse than the big light is having bright white lights

I'm amused by all the posters using the phrase,"big light" as if it's a common thing as well as the horror expressed at using said, "big light" at night. (Not to mention all the examples of when it's appropriate to use it.)

It's lamps all the way for me. Can't be doing with overhead lights.

Even in the kitchen I tend to use the cooker hood lights and sometimes a sidelight when I'm cooking.

Seriously????? I never used anything less than the equivalent of a 75 watt bulb, and certainly don't find that too bright! I've never had spotlights, but have been in houses which do and find them okay.

I have my ceiling light turned on during the day at times in winter. All these lamps would drive me mad.

We do this, I assumed most people did.
Helps unwind before bed rather than going from bright light to trying to sleep.