Turning out the big light

[Barney16]

I'm interested to know if I'm deluded or if my DP is quite mad. Every single evening at some point, whilst we are sitting in the living room watching TV, he will say mind if I turn the big light out? If he does we are plunged into virtual darkness except for a rather rubbish table lamp. It's like sitting in the dark more or less. He says he likes it because "it's like being in the pictures". It isn't, it's exactly like sitting in the dark. It's obviously a completely mundane problem but I honestly don't think the majority of people sit in the dark watching their TV do they?

I expected this thread to be about assisted dying . . .

More lamps!!! Definitely no big ceiling light here when we are settled watching TV. But we have 1 large standard lamp and two table lamps.

I hate having the big light on but also hate sitting in the dark. We have 3 lamps in the living room so it is nicely relaxing. Rarely have the big lights on in the bedrooms either.

We have wall lights as well as big ceiling lights and default evening setting is wall lights / lamps. Big light only on if we are looking for something or if someone’s trying to read small writing on not-tablet.

For film tv, wall lights go out and lamps only. For just taskmaster or something, wall lights stay on.

Big light only in emergencies or when extra light is needed. But get more lamps.

I hate overhead lights and never use them except in kitchen and bathroom

No to the Big Light!
We have a load of lamps, which are used in varying combinations, plus candles, if we feel like it.

I've always watched telly in the dark. Hate the big light on.

We only turn the big light off for occasional movie nights. Most of the time we aren't all sitting watching one thing (actually we have no TV atm) so it would be annoying to sit in the dark. We don't have any lamps, just several sets of spotlights and a larger pendant light. I often like to sew when I'm watching something so I really need to see properly.

I have a floor lamp as my kitchen/ lounge diner is open plan. Much more restful and relaxing

My big light only goes on so I can see to clean in the darker months. I’d never think of trying to relax under its glare.

Always with the atmospheric lighting! Though with plenty of optional lamps for reading, etc.

Always hated the big light being on as it's usually too bright. So we bought a dimmer switch for it although I don't know why we bother using it as it's s almost always turned so far down it may as well be switched off 🙄😂 The TV lights up the room anyway.

My DH likes all lights off.
It drives me crackers!

He used to just march into whatever room I was in and switch the light off, regardless of how I felt, but after being bollocked few times, will ask now.

He stares at his phone whereas I’ll read and I do like to be able to see a meal….

We have 2 comfortable sitting areas downstairs, so will often spend evenings in separate rooms in the darker months.

I’ve lived my house for 2 and a half years and have probably only turned the big light on once or twice. I have a lovely lamp in the corner of the room which gives the room more than enough light. No to the big light! #teamDH

Im not sure about 'many' but I do

My Dad always used to say 'it's like an
operating theatre in here!' And once I got my own house I'd say '& im the Surgeon, so it suits me!!'

I just cannot stand sitting in a dim room.

I hate the big light.

I've always had overhead light on and still do. I'm assuming it's because I was from a bigger family and someone was often doing an activity like sewing or a crossword. We didn't have lamps. My parents still don't have lamps. I think I could get into lamps though when the kids get a bit bigger if it were just me in the room relaxing.

The big light is nearly always turned off but we have several lamps. There is a huge happy middle ground between you and your husbands two extreme lighting choices

I am another lamp person. We have two. Never put the main light on.

Totally missing the point of the thread, but I find it interesting how people in similar countries live in a different way.

I had never heard of "the big light" until I came on MN - it's just the light here, and I rarely go to anyone's house where they rely on lamps for their lighting.

The big light on reminds me of Christmases at my auntie's in the 70s. I don't understand how anyone can enjoy sitting in the evening with it on.

What sort of light bulbs do you have in the UK that it's so bright?

I personally can't be bothered with having lamps all around the place.

Loathe the big light I get quite murderous with dh when he walks in and switches it on. Juat leave it we have plenty of lamps..

We rarely use the ceiling light either. We have a floor lamp with an attached adjustable reading lamp, both with dimmable bulbs, a Tiffany lamp on the windowsill, a clip on lamp with a burgundy lampshade, an electric fire with light, fairy lights around the mantelpiece and and electric candles in a holder on the hearth. Also, unless watching something, the television will have the Chromecast screen on with Google photos streaming on it. It all makes for much gentler overall lighting, and is more relaxing, I find.

Speaking of films, I watched one this afternoon. I closed the curtains, switched any lights off, put the sound through our stereo speakers, and made myself comfortable with cushions and blanket. 😁 Much better; I'm going to do this every time from now on. might include snacks too 🎬

Get more and better lamps and/or see if your overheads can be switched to a dimmer so that the two of you can compromise and adjust based on time/activity. Also look at the color temp of the bulbs you have and see if you can go warmer.

The amount, source and quality of light has a real impact and everyone's a little different. Find a way to make both of you reasonably comfortable when you're both in the room and give each of you more tailored options when alone rather than making this a who's right or wrong argument.